most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion

Published June 12th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion. Bullshit, a bowl of fucking food created you? It doesn’t even have a fucking brain! Ha ha. I can’t believe how much you are offending me, and many others. Especially your FSM "Bible". Why did you have to make fun of my religion, and others? You called the Christian bible The New Testicle. Seriously, stop making fun of other religions. Also, you called the Hindu’s book, "Ten Little Indians". Okay, you are the most twisted, racist fucking bastard on the planet. I can’t believe you are a racist bastard. Why, do you have to make fun of other religions? Probably because you want to just kick back and laugh at other people, and bash them. That’s why. Also, in your queer FSM "Bible", you obiously had to make fun of the Jews. I’m very offended, because the Jews had probably had the roughest life, and you go ahead and make fun of the REAL Bible, not your bullshit bible!!! Your version of heaven sucks huge fucking dicks. I don’t want strippers, and beer is nasty as fuck. You aren’t even trying, and your version of Hell is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. When you’re already DEAD it doesn’t FUCKING MATTER  IF YOU GET AN STD OR NOT!!!!! Fuck you sir, don’t be suprised when you die if you burn in Hell, because I am a solid Christian and I am praying for you, and I really hate that you have to MOCK other religions. You are very racist, and I hope that you burn in Hell and realize your FSM is just your imagination, and you’re full of bullshit. Also, I feel like sueing the publishers of your FSM Bible, since you have gone that far and turned racist.

Don’t be suprised if you get sued for being a RACIST FUCKING DOUCHEBAG! AND YOU CALL YOUR RELIGION "PEACEFUL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you,
Mike



1,261 Responses to “most fucking pathetic excuse for a religion”

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  1. Rasputin says:

    Theists believe in astrology, scientists believe in astronomy, Pastafarians believe in gastronomy.

  2. Excelsior says:

    Wholly Babble lesson 2:
    We can tell from the Babble that Gob was an astrologist and not an astronomer. He thought that daylight was an entity independent of the sun, so he made the daylight first, and then made a flat Earth with a “dome” (some versions of the Babble call it a “firmament”)over it and 3 days later he made a sun, moon and stars which he attached to the dome like a planetarium!
    In Genesis 1: 14 Gob said: “Let there be lights in the dome of the sky—and let them be for signs” So you see, he made the sun, moon and stars just for the purpose of astrological fortune telling!

  3. Captain Birdseye says:

    A stirring sermon, Excelsior. Will there be any brimstone?
    The Mediaeval Emission Theory of vision was that light to see was emitted from the eyes. I don’t know what they thought the Sun did, or, explain how they couldn’t see at night.

  4. Excelsior says:

    C. B.
    We are only up to Genesis, the brimstone will have to wait till Revelations!

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      I would have put Revelations directly after Genesis. Couldn’t Genesis do with a bit of brimstone?

  5. Jamie says:

    Isn’t screaming and yelling and “F” this and “F” you the opposite of being a peaceful Christian?

  6. Mike says:

    Hello everybody it is Mike, the author of this hate mail. Just wanted to let anybody know reading this that I wrote this up when I was in the 5th grade, I was also for some reason such an angry ass kid. Anyways, I’m no longer a christian and for years now I have seen exactly what you guys are doing here with the FSM. I just came back here the other night wanting to read this and have a good chuckle knowing that it was absurdly hyprocricial and also ridden with plenty of profanity. Anyways, I have changed a whole lot since 2010. Hope you all are having a nice day reading this, cheers

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Mike, it was a good bit of writing for 5th grade. You seem to have seen the light, redeemed yourself and been touched by His Noodly Appendage. What do you miss about Christianity?

      • Mike says:

        Yea, I ended up becoming way more laid back as I got older. Also, there’s not a whole lot to miss, honestly. I just can’t believe how fooled I was as a young lad haha

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Mike, glad to hear you’re more laid back. Many Christians seem uncomfortable with ‘maybe’ or ‘don’t know’ to their so-called ‘big questions’, and then invent a load of bollocks, such as Creation Science.

  7. Keith says:

    Hello Mike. Thank you for revisiting us and giving us an update. I hope we have amused you throughout the years.

    • Mike says:

      To be honest, I hadnt checked the comments very much knowing there were so many. I also did not expect this many people to see it and also didnt expect it to even be published. Of course, I did go through recently and read a lot of the comments, a lot of them were indeed pretty hilarious.

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