Fallacy of your satire

Published June 14th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

Hello, I have purchased and read your book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and I would just like to share with you a constructive feedback of your book. For its objective purpose of proving the illogicality of the provincial-minded nature of those who stand in opposition to allowing the scientific theory of the Big Bang/Theory of Evolution from being taught publicly, it served its purpose well. However I would like to call to mind the hypocritical nature of the book. I believe consistency with one’s own message is important to achieve a total victory and it satirically charges Christians with creating blind assumptions. I understand the comparison of pirate decrease to global temperature increase was to further the point of the illogicality of religion, but you assumed there was a lesser amount of pirates. In fact there are more pirates now than there was in the 1700’s, the lack of the Pirates of the Caribbean-esque romanticism is the only reason this fact is not widely spread. You made an assumption which went against fact which defeated your principle of factual basis. One may argue that was the continuation of satire but that would be most likely incorrect as the faux-correlation of coincidence is the satire and not the actual analyzes as global temperature is indeed rising since the last minor ice age in the Napoleonic Era.

Furthermore it appears you attack religion as a whole entity as illogical and we’d be better off it was nonexistent as the end of the book turns into repetitive bashing, This is the same mindset as the illogical fundamentalists whom do not hear the logic of scientific theory who completely disregard science as it is alien to their beliefs. Religion is extremely important in its influence in sociology as it combats the modern mainstream schools of thought such as widespread apathy, post-modernism and rampant sensationalism. It teaches values of selflessness and charity opposing the media advocacy of self-service which even in an evolutionary sense is not nature as we are social animals which rely upon societal advancement, not just the advancement of self. Religion plays a large role in academic studies as well, I’m sure you’re aware that one of the theorists of the Big Bang Theory was a Catholic priest. To the (logically) theistic, the belief in God does not interact with evolution or creation as God is a theory pertaining to spiritual well being while evolution pertains to physical creation. Religion (or belief in God) does not isolate one from logic, rather the fallacy assuming that because one is religious they must abandon reason. I think if you had pulled back on the senseless bashing of theists and made it rather a criticism of the solely illogical due to their ignoring of blatant scientific evidence even the Pope would have agreed with you. Book such as the one of your own writing are dangerous as human beings tend to take the extremity of each end, by the extensive mockery of the religious you isolate them while creating a malicious current in atheists against theists, which is academically wrong as scholarly debate should be through procedure of logic but your book goes from such to foolery. Such anti-God contempt creates social hysteria making people, for example, atheistic in assumption of its logic while in fact they have little intelligence to even contemplate the bane of their existence.This correlates with the thesis of The Prince as one should be firm in their own beliefs and adhered to logic but they can also not crush the other side as that creates blatant opposition for the sake of opposition rather than following a conventional and more satisfying procedure of scholarly victory.

I hope your book has accomplished your objective and enlightens the close-minded Kansas Board of Education.

Maroun Shami


This is the type of email I like to receive.  I don’t agree with a lot of what Maroun is saying but I have a lot of respect for him voicing his criticism.  –bobby

228 Responses to “Fallacy of your satire”

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  1. Danzki says:

    Where does he say that he is religious? All im getting from him, is just that he isn’t anti-religious. He might as well be agnostic or atheist with a respect for religion as a characteristic of humanity.

    So why do you bash him as a believer in god, when he didn’t once state this?

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      Yes he did state it. He said he was a Maronite.

    • Insightful Ape says:

      Late to the party, are we?
      He said it a million times…
      That is, if you are talking about maroun the troll.

  2. Maroun Shami says:

    Ok, I wasn’t going to post anymore because I’m swamped with work and I’m going on vacation soon but your arrogance irritates me to the degree where I must correct your misconceptions. Again you distort words with your own crooked and nonparallel adaptations.

    Your first example you say Jesus doesn’t want you to be rich, that isn’t true. No where in the Bible does it say Jesus wants us to be without money, he does warn many times against the temptations of money but when he says to give up all and follow him he is calling people to act in a manner in which to obtain what they need and if in an instance your church or community or the sick need your wealth, then you give it without greed.

    Your second example you quote, but I don’t know what you’re quoting seeing as you’re paraphrasing. And I never said Jesus was “kidding”, stop assuming things. The correct quote is “If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.” What is referenced to the “abiding in Me” is the seeking of Truth and the pursuit of doing what is right. “And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.” John 12:47.

    You say I felt threatened, but you again are shoving words in my mouth. I simply wanted to give feedback. And I apologize the Maronites are moderate and not crazy fundamentalists so we lack commonality with the extremist creationists. And I know you’re probably going to think I was trying to evangelize you by including Biblical verses but it was actually to prove you wrong as you quoted from the air. And if you would like to believe I would believe you will burn in hell, you’re welcome to.

    Lastly, your coining of “christianities” is rather pointless, as I understand the point you’re trying to make with the wide variety of beliefs but seeing as how Christianity is an overarching term to begin with, to pluralize it is improper because that would mean we believe in different “Christs” who were different persons. Please stop being so belligerent, and thank you for epitomizing the anti-theistic contempt I spoke of. If you were truly one who believes in the excessive freedoms that you would seem to harp on, such as freedom as belief, you would leave people alone instead of constantly peaking at them. This transcends religion, because perhaps the minority of fundamentalists may try to convert you, it doesn’t mean you have to accept or even pay any attention at all. If you don’t enjoy their evangelization and belittlement do not pass your own onto others as your impoliteness and distortions are extremely demeaning. Such self control not to do what someone else does just to “show them” is called maturity.

    • QWERTY says:


  3. Insightful Ape says:

    Hey maroun,
    Nice to see you back. And I am pleased to see whatever urgent business you have at hand, it never trumps your trolling.
    I don’t want to spend any more time with the “prosperity gospel” thing. Just so you know, this is what I was referring to: “sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me”, Luke 18:22 and “whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple”, Luke 14:33. (Now of course he might have said other things at other times that contradict that-wouldn’t be the first contradiction in the bible). But, if you believe in the message of prosperity churches, I don’t particularly care. Whatever floats your boat.
    As for what “abiding in me” means, it has different interpretations, but it is the first time I hear it means you don’t have to be a follower of jesus at all, and you won’t go to hell. Maybe you are right. Who knows? As far as I can tell everyone is free to have their own interpretation of the bible. Nowhere does it say the majority opinion is the right one. (For the record, Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye, authors of the Left Behind novels, would have a very different view. And their books have sold millions and millions of hard cover copies, so they are not just a fringe).
    As for Christianity being “overarching”, I have to say that is one thing that greatly puzzles me. For example, Mormons consider themselves christians, but many other christians do not. As another example, the greatest denomination in the US as well as worldwide is the Roman Catholic Church, yet some fundamentalist protestants to this day insult them with the word “papist”. So to some extent you probably have to agree with me that using the plural word is not so outrageous.
    I still don’t know how you keep insisting that you are not threatened, in the least, by a work of satire. Again, this is from your original letter: “Book such as the one of your own writing are dangerous as human beings tend to take the extremity of each end”. If something is not threatening, how is it dangerous? Granted, not a physical threat, but the “threat” that people you call unintelligent may be persuaded by it.
    Lastly, since you seem to be so irritated by my social manners, I need to bring one point to your attention. I do not go to any christian or islamic websites to tell them they are throwing away the one life they will ever get. Why? It is called “trolling”. And it is wrong. I am “leaving them alone”. I do not go “peaking” at them, as you put it. You came here. I didn’t come to your church’s website. You have no standing to complain about my manners. It seems you expected to come to our forum and trash us without being challenged. Sorry to disappoint you.
    PS: O Lord FSM, do the trolls Thou created look cuter the angrier they get.

    • QWERTY says:

      got pwned.

  4. plumberbob says:

    This troll had promised to go away and leave us alone, but like so many of them he seems to have a fixation about coming to our website, mis-quoting an anthology that he can’t even read. He cannot understand that most of us are better educated in modern science and technology than is he, and that many of us are more knowledgeable about his sacred book than is he. Some of us can even read it.

    His verbosity is without direction or organization, and he has clearly not read, or has wildly misunderstood the Open Letter, and the “About” tab material.

    My suggestion to all is, meet me at the volcano and we can imbibe together; and…DNFTT!


    • QWERTY says:

      got even more pwned.

  5. Trevor says:

    I don’t think that the pirate population/global warming graph was supposed to be logical, first of all, and second of all, the book was referring to the stereotypical type of pirates, with swords, and treasure, and such. You have to be kidding me if you are going to say that there is more of that type of pirate sailin’ the seven seas these days. The point of the book was to satirize religion, and it did quite well in my opinion.

  6. Danimal says:

    I wanted my response to be somewhere between a rant and a “thumbs up” for Insightful Ape. I’ll just say I second post #59.

  7. Insightful Ape says:

    I thought I should ask you a question in earnest, maroun.
    You said you are originally from the middle east. I am going to assume that means Lebanon.
    It is my understanding that the Lebanese society is so deeply divided along religious fault lines, it is worse than to northern Ireland. To the point that the constitution allots high offices depending on religious affiliation.
    So now, what would happen if some day, 70% of the Lebanese became unbelievers as is the case in, say, France?
    That would mean, for starters: no more Hezbollah, Amal movement, or phalangist militias. No ideological reason for huge pictures of iran’s ayatollahs in southern Lebanon. The list is quite long, as you know better than I do.
    Now can you tell me that all of the above, taken together, are less “dangerous” than the obscure book of satire you have made it your personal crusade to “give feedback on”? 
    Reminds me of a quote from Christopher Hitchens (paraphrasing): suppose I am on the street shortly after sunset and I see a group of young men right around me. Just sticking with the letter B, if I happen to be in: Baghdad, Belfast, Belgrade, Beirut or Bethlehem, I will feel immediately alarmed alarmed if I have reason to think they have just emerged from a religious service.  

  8. Danimal says:

    When you get back from vacation, I’d be curious what kind of feedback you would give to a one Skyler who is the author of posts #49 and #50 on the hate mail/concerned criticism “Did Moses see the FSM?” I always wonder what christians with have conflicting beliefs do when they encounter each other. (other than kill each other, I’ve seen enough of that) I figured I’d ask you because Skylers comments about what it takes to get to heaven disagree with your comments on what it takes to get to heaven (see post #54 of this thread), and as you actually engage with us other than a one and done hate mail I’m hoping I might get a thought provoking answer.

    • Anna says:

      That is a easy one there is only one God and yours doesn’t exist so that wouldn’t be possible they would never meet.

      • Danimal says:

        If you had bothered to read the post you would realize that Skyler and Maroun are both christians but they have different views on what makes a christian. These views are in opposition to each other and both claim that there’s is the right way. These contradictions are one reason why I dislike christianity and lazy parrots like you really test my patience.

      • Jesso says:

        Proof my dear. You must be able to offer proof. We have just as much proof as you do… snotty bitch.

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