I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is

Published April 19th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this letter is. Obviously, it’s satirical and some may think “clever,” but mockery is never wise.

I’ve never been able to understand why it is that those who call themselves “atheist,” “agnostic,” or whatever other label they wish can’t see that, in all reality, intelligent design (or rather a relationship with Christ) is the more intelligent route. If we (Christians) are wrong, then who cares? Nothing will happen to us because there is no after life, no higher power, no second death, but at least we lived a life worthy of something. We had something to look forward to, and hey, if it isn’t true then we’ll never know cause we’ll be DEAD. On the other hand, if Christians are right, those self-proclaimed atheists (etc) are pretty much screwed. What did you live for? Advancement of human life? By what? Living for yourself; living according to your own standards. In my opinion, your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) is selfish and irresponsible. The only reason you don’t want to admit that there may just be a higher power is because you don’t want to answer to it. You don’t want to have to change your lifestyle; to live according to HIS standards.

I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I pray for people like you each and every night. I pray that God will hit you over the head with some sense and knock you to your knees.

And FYI: Intelligent design has just as much (if not more) merit as the evolutionary theory. Evolution is a theory: it hasn’t been proven. There may seem to be evidence, but you may be forgetting one minor detail: care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began? Good luck because, unfortunately for you, even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” that there is a God, we Christians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We are loved far greater than we can comprehend. And guess what, so are you. God loves you, even if you don’t know that yet.


588 Responses to “I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is”

  1. Umm... says:

    Umm… If you are right then wasn’t it intelligent design that made people not believe in a god? Why would he punish people for not believing when it was his fault people don’t believe? He shouldn’t make atheists then punish them for it.

    • Keith says:

      To which their reply would be: “He’s God. He can do what he wants.”

    • Kimmi says:

      He didn’t make atheists. No one was born religious. He doesn’t have control over what you believe, that’s your choice. If YOU choose not to follow him, then that’s you.

      • Atsap Revol says:

        And the result of “not following Him” is eternity in Hell, Kimmi. Of course, if he exists, God WOULD have control over what we believe. If He really wanted us to believe in Him, He would provide evidence that He actually exists. A Book full of inconsistencies and contradictions is not proof that God and His Son are real. A modern-day personal appearance with smoke and miracles would be convincing. Or is that asking too much of an all-powerful, all-knowing deity?

        Atsap Revol, Bishop of Blasphemy

        • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

          Why does god need our adoration, anyway? If he needs his ego stroked, he’s not all-perfect, is he? Seems to me the god of the old testament, a serial smiter, has gotten mighty coy in his older years.

  2. carbs says:

    ahh this is one of my favorite letters…..people so far lost within a belief system that they fail to recognise science in any way shape or form, See that microwave your cooking dinner in or the mobile telephone your calling home on? or the incredible advancments in genetics and genetic mutation on labratory animals?Must be god cooking your pop-corn.

    • Keith says:

      He could be Amish, in which case he might not use a telephone or microwave. (He might get a special dispensation to use the internet)

  3. Alphy says:

    Atheism is not a religion, you nut cake. And; the theory of evolution is overwhelmingly support by scientific research. Scientific research is not for the purpose of supporting fundamentalist’s literal interpretations of the Scripture. There are believers who accept evolution. Not all Christian are fundamntalist puritanical Protestants. Of course, we know your type don’t accept Roman Catholics, Episcopalians, and Eastern Orthodox as Christians anyway. At least the Catholic and Episcopal churchs allow their people to accept the empirically varified truth that we have evolved. Since when do all Christians have to accept the fundamentalist Protestant views of God?

  4. Alphy says:

    “…even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” that there is a God, we Christians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross….”

    Carly, what you are is deluded.

    Jesus supposedly walked on water, healed the sick, raised the dead, four thousand fed with two small fish and a loaf of bread, made water into wine, man cured of demon possession, blind and dumb cured, Jesus conceived on the Holy Spirit. Not to mention the litany of ‘miracles’ in the old testament. Intelligent design, like creationism is religion based on superstitious nonsense and so called miracles.

    According to St. Thomas Aquinas being omnipotent is being able to do anything logically possible, or that does not involve a contradiction. These acts are contradictory in some way. So they are impossible. And; since they are impossible, to accept that God cannot do them it is not a limitation on his power. Thus the paradox is solved by understanding omnipotence as the power to do anything logically possible.

    Omnipotent God is supposedly able to do far more than heal the sick, raise the dead. He supposedly, according to fundamentalists, created the universe from nothing in a mere six days. Obviously, he is performing far below his ability. Omnipotent God would not act in such a limited capacity far beneath his ability. If God has the means to achieve his goal, he would not use just a small amount of his power to achieve it. If he did not understand all the relevant facts about a situation, then he might not apply all his knowledge or power. But omnipotent God is not supposed to have limitations in power, knowledge, or desire. If he does, he is NOT God and the religion about him and his miracles is a farce.

    So called ‘miracles’ are what magicians do. They are illusions and magicians are masters of illusion. They are provoke and get attention. They are only seen by very few people. They create doubt and questions. None of these acts suggest infinite knowledge, power, a of an Almighty all-knowing God. They suggests limited knowledge, questionable intent. So ‘miracles’, even if they were to happen, are evidence against the existence of the fundamentalist’s omnipotent God. The only sort of being that would perform such superficial party tricks is one who is limited in knowledge and power.

    ‘Miracles’ are illusions. They create doubt and question. If we ignore our doubts and questions out of fear of accusations of “lack of faith” by the religiously ‘superior” and go one believing that miracles have and do occur then we are deliberately deluding our self. And; that what religion make us do. Delude ourselves. In fact in order to really believe what religion teaches it is a necessity to delude one’s self. Being a true believer in miracles is to be deluded and that’s what most Christians, especially fundamentalist Christians are. DELUDED!

    Since fundie’s bibles tells them that “perfect faith casts out all doubt”, they are afraid to admit that they have any doubts. To admit to such would indicate that their faith is less that perfect and that’s something they can’t face. It would be a sign of “sprirual weakness” a blemish on their religious character. So, they just go on believing in the so called ‘miracles’ of the buybull. Nor do they openly admit having question and face them. Their buybull is “self-interpreting”, “all things are possible with Gawd” they have endless absurd circular reasoning and “justifications for their faith just like a schizophrenic has endless absurd justifications for his insanity.
    Even if miracles happen, what caused them it is not an omnipotent God.

  5. Tay Perry says:

    Carly, you’ve brought up something known as Pascal’s Wager. This is the proposal that if you believe in God and he’s real, then you will go to heaven, and if you’re wrong, then there is no punishment. As for nonbelievers, the consequence is torment in Hell. However, your only looking at your religion. consider the other multitude of religions out there that have the same idea, “BELIEVE OR BURN.” So if you believe in Religion A but neglect Religion B, and Religion B is correct, then you will rot in the Hell of Religion B. Do you understand?

  6. HoaiPhai says:

    “care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began?”

    Care to explain how God appeared? Where it all began? Can’t do it, eh? I guess we’re even on the First Cause Argument so all we’re left with is comparing replicable, testable evidence for both our claims. I’m calling your hand. Show your cards. Do they measure up to what we’re holding… something that can actually be used to describe a wide range of things not contained within its premise and to predict things that were unknown when the theory was first postulated?

  7. Inge says:

    Well, obviously HE (the Heavenly Earstwhile) created Him-/Herself, while not (yet) being (a cell). Very simple and very believable. Yet as we Noodle-Adherents all know, afterwards HE didn’t subdivide in Ghost and Holy Offspring, but grow into a nice saucy meal….

  8. Mordakeye says:

    Ah, the old “If we’re right then your screwed and if you’re wrong it doesn’t matter.” That’s basically getting up on a soap box and pointing at people, saying nanana boo boo boo. The only reason I won’t admit there’s a higher power? Well, if I admitted something then it would have to be true. I do not believe there is a higher power because there is absolutely no reason for me to. No evidence of intelligent design to, might I add. Evolution’s evidence is overwhelming. It’s just hard to hear that from somebody, and that somebody probably took one class of high school biology. The ignorant are the loudest. I won’t really go any farther here. Just by giving the line ‘evolution is just a theory’ it really really shows just how inadequately educated this person is to even be talking about the subject. Honestly, by saying that, this person really does not have any credibility in this entire letter. Okay you have a ‘personal’ relationship with an invisible, magical man. That really isn’t going to get you anymore credibility kudos. Bring some real stuff to the table, and maybe we can talk. Thinking before you speak is not a strong christian characteristic.

    You will have a fuller life huh? Well, I don’t mean to be rude, but sitting here telling people how right you are, and how proud you are to live a ‘fuller life’ because you believe that god sent his only son (which is him) to sacrifice to himself, to cleanse the sin that he created, you look very silly. I was a christian once. That life was empty and full of bigotry, intolerance, and spite to anything that did not agree with it. Sure, knowing god loved me and I was set if I died was very comforting, but that’s all it was. Comfort. When anyone questioned that, it brought angst and then anger. The reason why I love this site is because I’m so so sick of religion being untouchable and seen as infalable to so many people. I love that people send this site hatemail crying about how offensive this is to them. Well, I’m damn sick of hearing that. Grow the f**** up and get over it you cry baby. Just because you have the freedom to believe in whatever you want, doesn’t mean I respect it. I’ll offend your beliefs because it’s amusing to see you whine about it. The FSM is a statement. Years ago, not accepting Zeus and the other mythos of that generation was considered blasphemy. There’s been more then 1000 recorded religions, and probably many many more. The thing about magic, is that you can literally pull it out of your ass in a second, and say it’s real with nobody to prove you wrong(you can’t disprove the existence of something that already doesn’t exist). The abrahamic god of islam, judaism, christianity, and mormonism(I think right?) exists just as much as the FSM, and exists just as much as the dragon on my roof. Prove me wrong.

    • Keith says:

      I too have a dragon on my roof. When I light a fire it blows the smoke back down my chimney. People say I should get my chimney swept but I know better! I can’t see it or measure its size but just like the christians I have faith that it is there. I also have a bear that raids the fridge at night.

      • Rev. Wulff says:

        Is it smarter than the average bear?

        • Mordakeye says:

          Haha you guys are great. Dayum. I had some serious spelling errors. So much for that. Yeah, I have a few pixies under my bed that no one knows about too. They feed me peanut butter and false promises when I’m depressed.

        • Keith says:

          Definitely smarter than the average bear! It disguises itself as my other half, but I won’t be fooled. Mordakeye, according to the episode “Beer” in Blackadder 2, you can keep pixies in check with a large feather stuck up your bottom. If that doesn’t work, deny them access to their toadstool for a couple of days: they’ll soon settle down and behave themselves.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        The dust bunnies under my bed say you are crazy. They also say they are sorry about the midnight raids of your fridge.

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