I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is

Published April 19th, 2010 by Bobby Henderson

I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this letter is. Obviously, it’s satirical and some may think “clever,” but mockery is never wise.

I’ve never been able to understand why it is that those who call themselves “atheist,” “agnostic,” or whatever other label they wish can’t see that, in all reality, intelligent design (or rather a relationship with Christ) is the more intelligent route. If we (Christians) are wrong, then who cares? Nothing will happen to us because there is no after life, no higher power, no second death, but at least we lived a life worthy of something. We had something to look forward to, and hey, if it isn’t true then we’ll never know cause we’ll be DEAD. On the other hand, if Christians are right, those self-proclaimed atheists (etc) are pretty much screwed. What did you live for? Advancement of human life? By what? Living for yourself; living according to your own standards. In my opinion, your religion (yes, atheism is a religion) is selfish and irresponsible. The only reason you don’t want to admit that there may just be a higher power is because you don’t want to answer to it. You don’t want to have to change your lifestyle; to live according to HIS standards.

I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I pray for people like you each and every night. I pray that God will hit you over the head with some sense and knock you to your knees.

And FYI: Intelligent design has just as much (if not more) merit as the evolutionary theory. Evolution is a theory: it hasn’t been proven. There may seem to be evidence, but you may be forgetting one minor detail: care to explain how the first cell appeared? Where it all began? Good luck because, unfortunately for you, even if there isn’t “overwhelming evidence” that there is a God, we Christians will have lived a fuller life knowing and believing that we have been saved by the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We are loved far greater than we can comprehend. And guess what, so are you. God loves you, even if you don’t know that yet.


588 Responses to “I don’t know if you realize just how offensive this is”

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  1. you are a nutter says:

    wow… who are you to judge who has lived their life fuller? you are one seriously judgemental, opinionated, arrogant, Christian bastard. i wish to live my life the way i want to and no god is going to scare me and threaten me with hell into believing in him… give up and get some logic.

  2. No, you are a nutter. says:

    This post is obviously taking the standpoint a little far, and is a tad hypocritical at that — but it is true that the “Church” is offensive to those who are religious, but I’m not going to let it bother me. Might I add that, you are also a seriously judgmental, opinionated and arrogant bastard. You’ve called them this soley because of what they believe; are you serious? Also, It was certainly nice of you to use the term “Christian” derogatorily, you seem like a great person.

    You wish to live your life the way you’d like, so let others do the same without your criticism. Christian, Atheist, all the same — we are all people, and we’ve seriously got to learn to respect each other and their beliefs. If you think they’re stupid for believing what they do, go bitch about it to your atheist friends and leave them alone. Let them live in their “ignorance”.

    • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

      No, you are a nutter, or may I call you No? I would like to comment if I may on your response to the previous thread. Firstly, thank you for admitting the original post was a little over the top and hypocritical but we at the Church of his Noodlyness are used to that, it is par for the course for most hate-mailers that come here, uninvited I might add, but I will return to that later. The rest of your response I have to take issue with; you refer to the poster of the previous thread as ‘judgemental, opinionated and arrogant’, I would like to know how you can justify that. He, or she, made a judgement based on information received as does anyone with a modicum of intellect, but was not judgemental, judgemental is ‘feeling or showing self-importance and contempt for others’ (ref: Encarta Dictionary). I refer you to Carly’s original post.
      He, or she (you are a nutter that is) has an opinion, everybody is entitled to an opinion after being presented with and considering all the evidence, and he (sorry brevity calls) presented that opinion based on the evidence. I refer you to Carly’s original post. Nowhere was he opinionated which according to Encarta dictionary is: ‘always ready to express opinions and tending to hold to them stubbornly, unreasonably dismissing other people’s views’ and ‘someone who is opinionated has very strong opinions that they refuse to change even when they are clearly unreasonable’. I refer you to Carly’s original post.
      Arrogant… a word that sums up the ridiculously religious perfectly – conceited, egotistical, superior, self important, condescending. (ref: Encarta dictionary). I refer you to Carly’s original post. The previous poster was not showing arrogance he was merely highlighting the arrogance in Carly’s original post, there’s plenty there to be found.
      I don’t know if Carly is illegitimate or not but she is a christian that much is obvious and as her judgemental (all atheists are selfish, irresponsible and ignorant), opinionated (intelligent design has more merit than evolution and is the more intelligent route) and arrogant (I will pray for you regardless of your lack of belief because I’m right and you’re wrong) post was based on her christian convictions calling her a christian under those circumstances cannot be defined as derogatory, it was just the truth as was calling her judgemental, opinionated and arrogant. (I refer you to Carly’s original post). The previous poster displayed some anger, yes, but none of the attributes discussed above.
      We don’t have to respect your beliefs, we can respect your right to believe but to respect your belief is to accept your beliefs, and we don’t. This site exists to fight for our right to be respected for our lack of belief and not to have our lives controlled by the religious right; we don’t get that respect. We don’t ask that you respect our lack of belief as that would be asking you to accept it (what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander after all) but we do ask that YOU respect OUR right to not believe and keep your opinions to yourselves and out government and education and in the churches where they belong.
      Finally, I personally do think they are stupid for believing what they do and I do bitch about it to my atheist friends, I do it here on OUR website. I do leave them alone, I don’t go to religious websites and bitch at them, it is they that come here and bitch at us. I would love to let them live in their ‘ignorance’ if only they would let us live in our ‘enlightenment’. Until that day comes our Church will persist and we will fight for our right to be heard.
      May the sauce be with you
      The Reverend

      • Mal says:

        Yarrr. I seriously wish I could add something to that, but I think you covered everything.

        I know it’s been a while, but it’s good to have you back.

        • The Rev Toni Rigatoni says:

          Thanks Mal.

        • Danny says:

          Except, of course, that not all Pastafarians are atheist. You can be atheist or and Pastafarian, but that doesn’t mean we all are (this isn’t an atheist club is what I mean). But everything else is right on.

      • Nom Immanut says:

        I’m just a newborn pastafarian, and I’m incredible touched by the clarity of your words. Where’s your church? I want to attend mass.

        • Keith says:

          The church is anywhere you want it to be. Set one up in your kitchen and you can celebrate mass anytime you want.

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          Welcome to the fold Nom Immanut, and thank you for your praise. Keith is right, the kitchen is the best place to take the body of our lord but the church is where you find like-minded people – that’s here in this very place. Come back soon.

          May the sauce be with you

          The Reverend

  3. Alex Loptien says:

    We do, and don’t care.

  4. Drasher says:

    First cell? Either the Big Bang or the FSM.

    • TiltedHorizon says:

      I love the “first cell” argument, it goes against the “created in his image” argument. According to the bible there was no first cell, just *Poof* everything came into being.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Magic is a lot easier to “explain” than science, and – let’s face it – the BuyBull has an appalling lack of science for the “word of god”. You’d think (s)he’d know better.

  5. Scotty says:

    It’s amazing how people become so easily offended. All religion is technically based on faith and or theory. No one alive was around to see the birth/death/rebirth of Jesus Christ, no one was around in the time of mohammed or buddah. Therefore we all rely on sacred text or word of mouth. History shows that men and women lie. So in the end honestly who is really telling the truth? It doesn’t matter does it? You will believe in what you believe regardless what anyone says. If the christians or catholics believe that followers of FSM will go to hell so be it. If it angers you and you are a christian reread your bible. If it sickens you then you pray for them don’t talk crap. You pray for their salvation. When nonbelievers bashed Jesus did you see him talk crap right back to them? No of course not. He prayed for their salvation. I’m a pagan and even I know this. (its 4am and i’m writing this i apologize for any misspellings, capitalization errors and grammatical errors.)

    Scotty =)

  6. Hijack says:

    Pascal’s Wager, anyone? That’s pretty much all this is.

  7. Tim says:

    This is a simple matter of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s supremacy in design, marketing and advertising. HELLO, according to the FSM, ‘Heaven’ has a beer volcano and a stripper factory. In none of the other religions I’ve investigated, are there any promotions of anything that comes close to this. Obviously, the other so called Gods, being lame in their own nature, are saying to themselves “Why didn’t I think of that?” Clearly, marketing is everything these days, and these old supreme beings are not up to the task.

  8. Praise and Glory to the FSM, Now Pass the BEER Mate! says:

    hey carly, you asswipe, you know what else is “just a theory”? GRAVITY!!!!!! GET SOME FUCKING KNOWLEDGE ABOUT SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO HATING ON IT! Anyways, enjoy worshiping a baby-killer!
    Your “friendly” Neighborhood skeptic
    P.S. why did jesus need to die? god could just change the rule….DUR!

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