It was with the utmost regret

Published November 13th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Sir;
It was with the utmost regret that I stumbled upon your horror religion. Do you not know that G-d will not be mocked? He who gave this world to us and created us in his imagine is surely not one to be insulted this way. You are a false prophet, and if you don not change your ways you will surely come to regret it when you are burning in the fires of hell. My G-d is a loving G-d, but you are sorely tempting him and he has shown the ability to be pushed to far. (Do the towns of Sodom and Gammorah have any meaning to you?)
I will pray for your soul; I only hope it is not to late. Turn your heart to Jesus and let his light fill you up; you will surely see that to worship a dinner item will only lead to eternal ruin/damnation. If you can’t do it for yourself, you should think of those poor pasta believers you have turned away from G-d; surely you will realize that you are going to be held responsible for thier mis-guided souls, as well?
I am sorry if I will be keeping you awake at night with the fears for your eternal soul, but sometimes a person has to be made afraid to understnad their mistake. Why do you think they are called G-d fearing men? Do you really think your bowl of noodles will enspire fear? Hah, you can talk about pirates and pasta all day, but on the day of Judgement I will be glad I am one of the righteous, and not one of the misleaden. I am praying to G-d to heal your ugly heart and commune you to His beauty and His ways. May G-d have mercy on your soul;

What do you guys think – real or fake?

574 Responses to “It was with the utmost regret”

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  1. Zoro says:

    “Do the towns of Sodom and Gammorah have any meaning to you?”

    Hey, leave my home town out of this!!

  2. Treker says:

    Does nobody know how to spell any more?

    • Elle Danté says:

      a-n-y m-o-r-e

      • Elle Danté says:

        Lol! Neither do I!

    • TimmyAnn says:

      Actually anymore is one word.

      • Drained and Washed Clean says:

        Some would argue that the word “anymore” does not exist. Others say it depends on the usage. Anymore is used to refer to “any longer”(like “nobody knows how to spell any more”) while any more can be an adverb or an adjective used in the context “I don’t want any more pie”.

        Next time you want to fix someone’s spelling perhaps you should make sure you know what you are talking about. All that information came from a simple internet search.

        • TimmyAnn says:

          Oh, for crying out loud. I just found it rather amusing that the person complaining about one person’s spelling misspelled something in the process. It’s in my Webster’s Dictionary, my spell check didn’t underline it and my high school and college English teachers never objected. I saw no reason to check it. It was just a little off the cuff humorous observation. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. Excuse me all to the land of stale beer.

    • stylusmobilus says:

      Depends where ya from I spose. In Australia a typical conversation could be ‘mate you ain’t got no more beers left aye bloke’, ‘yeah nah mate not no more she dry as a nun’s nasty mate aye.’ In fact, we challenge the rest of the Anglosphere, including the southern states of the US, to try and come up with examples of wilful destruction to the English language that compete with what we have done to it.

      • Keith says:

        One of the things that annoys me most about the abuse of language (any language) in Australia is the odious habit of shortening words and names and sometimes adding meaningless suffixes. (David =Davo) “Put the barbie on Davo: I’ll crack a few tinnies and we can wait for Robbo and Tommo to appear”. This, combined with the latest fad by the media and politicians for talking about “mum and bubs” is a clear indication that Australian culture has dragged language down to the lowest common denominator.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          And Johnno, did’e go to the fisho and stop off at the bottleo? Hope he goes to the servo, fuckin yobbo ‘e is.

  3. Precambrian Rabbit says:

    Bobby, I think this is definitely a fake.
    Or maybe he has watched too much Harry Potter, he who’s name must not be mentioned: V-ld-m-rt..
    Now I WOULD be sh-t scared of him. ;-)

    And I love Kevin’s reply, but it is much more fun with the trolls!

  4. Saint Jimmy says:

    ooo scaaaary. im sooo fucking terrified now! if god (oh no! i said it!) was gonna strike my ass he’d’ve done it by now. cause ive lost track of all the sins ive commited so far. get a damn life.

    • Alchemist says:

      God asked me to tell you that you’re a twat.

      Don’t blame me, it was God!

  5. Wil says:

    Chuck, while I respect your right to your oppinion let me inform you that I have no respect for people who tell me how to live my life. And that is precisly what you are doing. Your G-d, which I assume is spelled because of a religious obligation, has just as little proof as mine. So, kindly go away.

  6. jon trott says:

    Your posts are so popular that people are naturally attracting towards you.

    • Kevmercer says:

      as i do understand your logic, i would like to point out that the bible is the most popular book in the world….

  7. Jee Dee says:

    G-d (Jee dee) sounds a lot like a wanna-be gangster/rapper name.
    And nah, this has got to be a fake, albeit a hilarious one.

  8. morgan says:

    the pasta god is a loving god, the christian god is a hateful one.
    the pasta god doesnt punish anyone, he makes everyone happy in the afterlife,
    FSM is a loving god.
    And whetever his prophet really believs or not doesnt mean anything.
    for the evidence of pasta is here

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