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It was with the utmost regret

Published November 13th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Sir;
It was with the utmost regret that I stumbled upon your horror religion. Do you not know that G-d will not be mocked? He who gave this world to us and created us in his imagine is surely not one to be insulted this way. You are a false prophet, and if you don not change your ways you will surely come to regret it when you are burning in the fires of hell. My G-d is a loving G-d, but you are sorely tempting him and he has shown the ability to be pushed to far. (Do the towns of Sodom and Gammorah have any meaning to you?)
I will pray for your soul; I only hope it is not to late. Turn your heart to Jesus and let his light fill you up; you will surely see that to worship a dinner item will only lead to eternal ruin/damnation. If you can’t do it for yourself, you should think of those poor pasta believers you have turned away from G-d; surely you will realize that you are going to be held responsible for thier mis-guided souls, as well?
I am sorry if I will be keeping you awake at night with the fears for your eternal soul, but sometimes a person has to be made afraid to understnad their mistake. Why do you think they are called G-d fearing men? Do you really think your bowl of noodles will enspire fear? Hah, you can talk about pirates and pasta all day, but on the day of Judgement I will be glad I am one of the righteous, and not one of the misleaden. I am praying to G-d to heal your ugly heart and commune you to His beauty and His ways. May G-d have mercy on your soul;
Chuck

What do you guys think – real or fake?



574 Responses to “It was with the utmost regret”

  1. Francesc says:

    I call a Poe on it, but, hey, wouldn’t it be nice if even the more concerned xtians could write a mail withouth caps and grammar abusing?

    And just in case…
    “It was with the utmost regret that I stumbled upon your horror religion”
    Oh, don’t be silly! Surely you are glad that you could correct someone on the internetz. And besides, how is that an “horror” religion? We are not burning anyone, nor imposing our beliefs.

    “Do you not know that G-d will not be mocked?”
    What’s with the “G-d” thing? Surely you would agree that a caring and loving God must have a sense of humour. I can imagine our Noodly deity smiling at some jokes in this pages (and at Ray Comfort, definitely He must laugh at Bananaman’s speeches)

    “You are a false prophet, and if you don not change your ways you will surely come to regret it when you are burning in the fires of hell” Mmm… you know that kind of threats only would work if we believed, not only in your god, but also in the concept of hell. Even an important % of christians don’t believe in hell, by the way.

    “My G-d is a loving G-d, but you are sorely tempting him and he has shown the ability to be pushed to far”
    Yeah, a very little patience has your allmighty god. Are you referring here to the flood that never happened? To sodomah and Gomorrah? What about las vegas or los angeles? What your god has shown is a lack of ability to do any real -recorded- damage. What about the millions of children who are going to die of famine, is bobby henderson and our church more important than them?

    “If you can’t do it for yourself, you should think of those poor pasta believers you have turned away from G-d; surely you will realize that you are going to be held responsible for thier mis-guided souls, as well?”
    Let’s see… is Boby Henderson responsible of my lack of faith? Don’t have I a brain to decide wether I want or not to believe? You are too used to child indoctrination, sir. We can think for ourselves.

    “I am sorry if I will be keeping you awake at night with the fears for your eternal soul, but sometimes a person has to be made afraid to understnad their mistake”
    Yes, we know that having people afraid has been a way for the catholic church to keep them doing -and paying- what they wanted. It didn’t work for me. Time changes.

    “Do you really think your bowl of noodles will enspire fear?” It was not our intention. Our FSM is a loving God.

    “Chuck” As in “Chuck Norris”? Ooops… Now I am afraid…I’m moving out!

  2. Hollee says:

    Oh honestly, the guy takes that much care to type “G-d” and can’t even use the proper “too” when needed, says “imagine” instead of image, “misleaden” instead of mislead, and can’t even handle the whole “i before e” thing when he spells “their.” He seems to have gotten farther into our religion than most, catching on to the references about pirates and literal bowls of pasta, and managed to not get completely irate and start screaming obscenities. Most hate-mail seems to come from people who just gloss over the whole site in a haste to start Caps-locking some blasphemes and the like.

    It’s an illiterate Pacifist or fake, take your pick.

    And Chuck, I am sorry if your worry over our souls keep YOU up at night, but the vast majority of Pastafarians sleep soundly every night, a belly full of pasta and a cold bottle of rum ensuring deep sleep.

  3. IDidn'tVoteBerlusconi says:

    hope that’s a fake, I don’t think there’s someone THAT stupid, otherwise I have a message for him: do you know that arcaic form of enjoinment called “irony”? i know that it’s something created in Ancient Greece, but i thought it was still used………..

    however, creationists, puritans and this kind of people too often seems simply stupid, even the Catholic Church (not exactly the most innovative institution in the world!) understood that Creationism is simply untrue, you have to be really really stupid not to understand that!!!!

    if there’s a God, he’s maybe correct with us, every place has it’s scourge, here in Italy we have Mr. B the psicoDwarf mafioso, you have that kind of clever people, there’s maybe a kind of justice under the sky.

    (sorry for the mistakes, i’m italian)

  4. bigjohn756 says:

    Fake. It is grammatical as well as properly spelled and punctuated. His points are cogent and well argued. Can’t be real.

  5. lippy girl says:

    Why G-d? Is it a sin to type your god’s name? How can you possibly call your god loving when you are afraid to name him and mention terrible stories like Sodom & Gammorah. You certainly haven’t given me any reasons to want to worship your g-d with this poorly spelled, silly threat. And for the record, my soul isn’t misguided, nor is it anyone’s responsibility but mine, and I sleep like a baby. No guilt, no fires of hell, no crazy fears…you should try pastafarianism…you just might like it.

  6. Timegirl4468 says:

    Why do they all think we were brought up with religion? I wasnt. I was brought up Agnostic (also what i would call properly (We should have the right to choose)) Also, he just called you ugly :(. Well, ugly heart, but, i doubt we are ones to take offence. I would much prefer a gate anyway. Well, wether he is Christian or Jewish or whatever, I just wonder whether religion was forced apon him when he was little or not, because if it was, that explains much.

  7. Sarah says:

    Seems fake to me – He can’t decide if this is a joke or not, and doesn’t bother to ask us, plus he doesn’t seem to be too clear on the role of fear in his own religion – something about it just seems contrived. But whatever, RAmen, Chuck.

    -Sarah

  8. Ron says:

    I’m assuming fake. Real mindless fanatics, even the polite ones, generally have a sense of rage about them. This has no sense of emotion behind it. It’s like ‘Chuck’ is reading off a teleprompter, or doing dialogue from a prime-time television science fiction series. No passion.

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