I understand your weak attempt

Published November 20th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Bobby, I understand your weak, (though somewhat humorous) attempt to draw parallel between your alleged FSM and the true Creator, fortunately your doubt does not negate nor prevent His existence.

There is a Bible verse which states that the fervent prayer of a righteous man (one who has chosen to believe in forgiveness and accept eternal life) avails much.

Since you evidently do not believe in the Creator you should have no issue with my prayer for you.

Perhaps He will see that it will require a ‘hitting bottom’ before your mind, soul and ‘heart’ as they say, is open to the possibility and awareness that eternity without this Creator, whom is love, will be an horrible reality.

You are allowed to make your decision either way, but I’m hoping your ears & eyes will be opened to the realization that this 3-dimensional physical apparent reality is so much less than that of the realm of the Living Spirit.

May He be exalted in you, also, and may you find Life.

Bobby, expect the unexpected.
Il Pavarello

184 Responses to “I understand your weak attempt”

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  1. StJason says:

    WHy, oh why do they not get it?

    Parry… listen. The FSM is not an imitation of your Creator. It is an imitation of your Creator’s moron minions who insist upon putting Him into situations that have no relevance.

    Think of it this way. your Creator is like sugar. Sweet, lovely, adds flavor and tames other flavors. I like it in my coffee in the morning. But just because I like it in my coffee, doesn’t mean I want it in my chicken noodle soup. And yes, I’ll get a bit miffed if some asshat gets so taken away by his love for sugar, that he starts running around the restaurant and dumping it on everyone’s food. This ladies Chicken Parmesan. That guys vegetarian curry. That is the offensive action. That is the true crime here. To misquote the song, if God were here he’d tell you to your face, knock the shit off. All hail the FSM, blessed be he who is touched by His Noodly Appendages, and may the marinara continue to flow!

  2. EG says:

    “Perhaps He will see that it will require a ‘hitting bottom’ ” – Sounds a bit pervy;who do you have in mind, Il Pavarello? This comment does rather suggest some Catholic leanings, hmm?

    “Bobby, expect the unexpected” – No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!…. It is the Catholic church, aha!!


  3. galderon says:

    You state that you understand, and yet your post illustrates that you don’t.

    Also, it is impossible to expect the unexpected, by definition.

    Thanks for stopping by.

  4. 11zxcvb11 says:

    “this 3-dimensional physical apparent reality”
    wow, we have a string theorist amongst us.

    anyway, i’m sure the great fsm will hear your fervent prayers.


  5. Nangleator says:

    Loving creator. Loving? Really? Have you even read the bible? Frankly, it reads as though a war for heaven was fought and won before the bible was written, and the guy with the pitchfork and the horns won. He’s up in heaven making all this stuff happen and laughing at you as you pray to him and recharge his god engine so he can keep doing his thing.

    Stories about that Jesus fellow make him sound like a nice guy. You should probably try to follow his teachings, if you need to follow someone. I like the part about praying in private and not showing off your bombastic ‘piety’ to all and sundry. You obviously don’t like that part. It kind of makes churches and clergy into exactly the wrong kind of idea, doesn’t it? Kind of like bishops and popes explaining all about a life of simple faith and poverty… from their mansions and palaces.

    And did you ever wonder why this omnipresent, omni-powerful and omni-capable creator, who punishes all the people that don’t worship him with eternal fire, chose to send his son to school us only just two thousand years ago, and not a couple hundred thousand years earlier? And how come it was just to one country? How come spreading the word suffered from human limitations on travel and communication?

  6. PlagueChicken says:

    *Yawn*. Hmm. Where are all the foamy, ranty, incoherent cap-lock using religious fanatics?
    This new breed of poster really doesn’t meet the high level of incoherence that I’ve come to associate with religious fervor. More fundies please! I haven’t been threatened with sodomy, nor a good thorough dunking in the lake of brimstone and hellfire for quite a while now…


  7. Gordon_UK says:

    Dear Il Pavarello

    Question, why would it require ‘hitting bottom’ before being able to convert him? Is it a recruitment technique? Wait until they are vulnerable then bam hit them before they know what’s happening; I know it’s often used by other cults and torturers to great affect.

    Also you are allowed to make your decision either way, but I’m hoping your ears & eyes will be opened to the realisation that this 3-dimensional physical world we live in is the only one we have. Now go and live your life rather then trying to live other peoples’ lives for them.

    Apparently our ‘doubt does not negate nor prevent His existence’, very true, the lack of evidence makes his existence highly unlikely.

    Expect the expected.


  8. Apprentice Frederic says:

    Pavarello, I understand your weak, (though ponderous, humorless, and abysmally sanctimonious) attempt to draw (a) parallel between your alleged Creator and the true FSM, fortunately your doubt does not negate nor prevent His existence.

    The message of the Church of the FSM is explained – if you will give it a shot – at the top of the website. Reflection will show you that you are engaged in what is called “drawing a distinction without a difference”. Further reflection may lead you to realize that the FSM’s One True Church is fairly secular, and has the goal of keeping the myriad other One True Churches with their myriad other One True Creators from shoving (not serially, not in parallel, not AT ALL) their ponderous, humorless, sanctimonious dogma down the throats of anyone searching for something real. To paraphrase a philosopher of past days, I would rather know the cause of one true fact than live in your ‘realm of the Living Spirit’. What you have been told about the Realm of the Living Spirit is a lot; what you actually know, in your overweening smugness, is what the Brits so eloquently refer to as “Sweet Fuck All.”

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