The village called

Published October 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.

You and your rediculous religion that involves a flying spaghetti monster is freaking retarded. did you smoke some seriously strong dope, possibly eat some shrooms you thought we’re candy? I have to say i’ve met alot of stupid people with even MORE stupid ideals, but you take the cake.

I think some of the dur duh durs could make a better religion then you from a violated underage teen and a wine bottle. there is no end to the idiocracy of your ideals.

Im not gonna come after you with my ideals as a christian, I won’t come after you with my logic, hell I won’t even come after you with a bat. People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them.I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.

I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore. I absolutely can’t believe that ignorant bastards like you can get away with creating bunk religions like this.

I had more genius come out my friends ass then from your brain.obviously your parents didn’t love you, dropped you on your head, and didn’t pay the life support and you ended up turning into this kind of retarded goofy fuck.

I mean, to have 2 dee parents to make you dee duh dee doesn’t give you an excuse to go make a crap religion just so you can make a quick buck off the merchandise and to brainwash followers for whatever reason you needed an assload of retards as followers for.>_>

Hope you die, and have a nice day.

-Jeffery Hazelwood
Fuck you.

I bolded a few parts.

347 Responses to “The village called”

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  1. Karmakomik says:

    Awww … Where is all the good christian “forgiveness”?
    Jefferey, his noodly goodness loves you even if you are just plain dumb fuck (the FSM has really low standards and that applies to IQ as well). He is always up there waiting for you with a cup of top ramen.


    PS : Bobby, your “I bolded a few parts.” thing was too good! rAmen!

  2. Nastyogre says:

    Oh Buddy! This is darn funny. Satire is lost on the foolish and ignorant. I wonder hwta he would say about Buddhism? The Buddha implored people to review their lives and beliefs and to pick the path of the Good. I guess this Christian piece of work would fail that one… We wonder why western civilization is so screwed up…

  3. Peter says:

    I’m astounded at how many people try to disprove the beliefs of my fellow Pastafarians through their hate mail. Even if you didn’t read page 1 as Terry suggested, you have to know its a joke…it’s a flying ball of pasta for christ’s sake! Oops, I mean for FSM’s sake! It’s hard to believe that with all this knowledge available at the press of a button that there are still so many stupid people alive today. I truly appreciate this letter from Jeffery because it so accurately portrays the principles of Christianity…that anyone who doesn’t believe should be castrated and murdered.

    “And in what world do dogs defecate on the chests of cheap whores? How does this help a cheap whore make money?” – Thank you Sean; you litterally made me LOL at work.

  4. Reggie Dixon says:

    Jeffery . . . . . You twat.

  5. ATSAP REVOL says:

    Dear Jeffery Hazelwood,

    May a sex-starved grizzly bear find you bathing nude in a mountain stream.


  6. Ham Nox says:

    *sniffle* That hurted my feelings :(

  7. Brian says:

    You don’t have enough time to beat the shit out of us. Why is that? Are you to busy:
    1) Killing Muslims
    2) Lynching Black People?
    3) Stealing Native Land?
    4) Beating up gays?
    5) Depriving others of a sound scientific education?
    6) Worshiping an invisible magic man?
    7) Eating your zombie-god?
    8) Hating other groups of people?
    9) All of the above.

    Answer is 9. But you knew that already seeing as this is your list of things to do today. See, one day you may finally wake up and realize that yes, indeed, your christian shit does stink. And it stinks horribly.

    Bye bye fuckhead.

  8. Lyvvie says:

    Looks to me like Jeff is practicing some of his personally written “Angry Comic” stand-up routine. Most angry comics are atheists though. We don’t see many happy bible-thumping comics; why is that? We are merely heckler practice. At least, Jeff seems to think himself clever.

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