The village called

Published October 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.

You and your rediculous religion that involves a flying spaghetti monster is freaking retarded. did you smoke some seriously strong dope, possibly eat some shrooms you thought we’re candy? I have to say i’ve met alot of stupid people with even MORE stupid ideals, but you take the cake.

I think some of the dur duh durs could make a better religion then you from a violated underage teen and a wine bottle. there is no end to the idiocracy of your ideals.

Im not gonna come after you with my ideals as a christian, I won’t come after you with my logic, hell I won’t even come after you with a bat. People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them.I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.

I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore. I absolutely can’t believe that ignorant bastards like you can get away with creating bunk religions like this.

I had more genius come out my friends ass then from your brain.obviously your parents didn’t love you, dropped you on your head, and didn’t pay the life support and you ended up turning into this kind of retarded goofy fuck.

I mean, to have 2 dee parents to make you dee duh dee doesn’t give you an excuse to go make a crap religion just so you can make a quick buck off the merchandise and to brainwash followers for whatever reason you needed an assload of retards as followers for.>_>

Hope you die, and have a nice day.

-Jeffery Hazelwood
Fuck you.

I bolded a few parts.

347 Responses to “The village called”

  1. Mike Spaghettini says:

    Wow, it is amazing the amount of hate that can come from so called “christians”. Is it that hard to see the parody behind this website? Or have they completely lost the ability to have a logical thought or critically analyze something with all of that the bible humping they have done! I do love this type of hate mail though… it highlights the ignorance of these “believers” and shows the exact reason FSM was created.


    • Devin says:

      All they see is insults. Also, he seems as violent as his God in The Old Testicle. And as smart as he makes us out to be. Hypocrisy anyone?

  2. Ami says:

    Tell me, how do you know that people shit on the chests of Cheap Whores? Are you one yourself? Or have you merely shit on their chests?

  3. Robyn says:

    He’s obviously impregnated with Christ’s love. Man, even if I were religious I would be able to see the point of this site. Yes, it mocks religion, but it also questions religion and blind adherence to it. What the hell is wrong with that? And for a guy who says you’re not even worth the time it would take to beat you up, he sure put in enough writing this revoltingly cruel email.

    And for all of you people out there who obviously misunderstand: do you really think “Pastafarians” take this seriously? Isn’t it stated quite overtly on the About page that THEY DO NOT TAKE THEMSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY? Read it closely next time, you vicious haters.

    If anyone should be ashamed of anything, it should be the people spewing hateful acidic vitriol all over the place. Ask yourself “What would Jesus do?” next time you feel the need to abuse people for their beliefs (no matter how absurd they may be or how fake). And do you support what happened to JC back in the day when he was allegedly flogged and murdered for his beliefs? If you don’t, then you should radiate the love of Christ of which you claim to be so full rather than wish death on some dude trying to make a point in a rather controversial way.

    The beauty of DEMOCRACY is that people have the freedom to express themselves any way they please as long as they are not hateful (I’m Canadian – we have anti-hate laws up here under all the snow and ice). I don’t really see any hate-mongering on the part of the CotFSM, just a joke at the expense of unquestioned religious beliefs.

    I feel sorry for you, Jeffrey, and anyone who comes into contact with your violently hateful disposition.

    • James says:

      Robyn says: “He’s obviously impregnated with Christ’s love.”

      Very well said.

  4. Praise and Glory to the FSM, Now Pass the BEER Mate! says:

    Jeffery, if you don’t want to be mocked, don’t have such funny beliefs. if a god exists, and the bible shows an accurate portrayal of that god (debunks for islam also available on request), then god condones slavery, prejudice against women, genocide (he tells the jews to do this REPEATEDLY throughout the old testament, and also…noah’s flood), prejudice against homosexuals (the bible claims it is “unnatural” even though there is a list of over 1000 species that have homosexual relations.),thinks you should go to hell if you eat shellfish, or wear mixed cloth (of more than one type, ie, half polyester, half cotton), and claims to be all-loving, yet SENDS PEOPLE TO A PLACE OF ETERNAL TORMENT:HELL! Have beliefs that make sense, or let people mock them. The claim that i have a dragon is more plausable than the bible, as the bible has been written and edited over thousands of years, by many authors, in more than 10 languages. NEWS FLASH: You’re self-contradictory! You say you are cool with us being atheists, BUT THE BIBLE SAYS TO KILL US! It says to kill all non-Christians, and treat women like slaves. So, in other works, kill 3.6 billion people, and treat 1.8 billion people like property. Sounds REALLLLY, REALLLY loving and peaceful, don’t it? Brought to you by:LOGIC!Use it sometime.

  5. HoaiPhai says:

    Jeff, you’ve convinced me. You’re obviously onto The True Path. Can I join your church? I’ve always wondered what it would be like if Don Rickles gave a Sunday sermon and I have a funny feeling that’s pretty much what I’d see at one of you church’s services.

  6. Anonymous says:

    What a charming young man…

  7. Dutch says:

    For guy who wasn’t going to “waste [his] time”, he sure wrote a long post. Remember haters and all those who disagree… you have the freedom to not type the website into your browser at all… and if you do, click that “x” thing and it will all go away. You choose to care.

    • Dutch says:

      Also… I can make an exuse for anything… my reality, not yours

  8. Libbith says:

    No way…we get cake again!

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