The village called

Published October 2nd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.

You and your rediculous religion that involves a flying spaghetti monster is freaking retarded. did you smoke some seriously strong dope, possibly eat some shrooms you thought we’re candy? I have to say i’ve met alot of stupid people with even MORE stupid ideals, but you take the cake.

I think some of the dur duh durs could make a better religion then you from a violated underage teen and a wine bottle. there is no end to the idiocracy of your ideals.

Im not gonna come after you with my ideals as a christian, I won’t come after you with my logic, hell I won’t even come after you with a bat. People like you aren’t even worth the time to even get the shit beat out of them.I mean…,what kind of person has time in their day to piss off the catholics, and ruin the lives of others? your stupid fuck with retard ideals.

I hope that someone castrates you, beats the shit out of you, puts you in a tightly tied sack in the middle of the road and a dozen semi’s run you over repeatedly, and to top it off, a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore. I absolutely can’t believe that ignorant bastards like you can get away with creating bunk religions like this.

I had more genius come out my friends ass then from your brain.obviously your parents didn’t love you, dropped you on your head, and didn’t pay the life support and you ended up turning into this kind of retarded goofy fuck.

I mean, to have 2 dee parents to make you dee duh dee doesn’t give you an excuse to go make a crap religion just so you can make a quick buck off the merchandise and to brainwash followers for whatever reason you needed an assload of retards as followers for.>_>

Hope you die, and have a nice day.

-Jeffery Hazelwood
Fuck you.

I bolded a few parts.

347 Responses to “The village called”

  1. Sean says:

    Wow, thank goodness he has the morality of the bible to keep him in check. I would hate to see what he would be like if he didn’t.

  2. Uurath says:

    This ones my favorite: “a dog taking a shit on your chest like you we’re a cheap whore”

  3. Tenku says:

    Wow, what a retard. Nice job being a hypocrite as well!

  4. theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

    Jeffrey: Learn the difference between “were” and “we’re”. When you say things like
    “we’re a cheap whore”, it sounds like you’re using the imperial “we” in the statement
    “we are a cheap whore”. Which, given your lack of awareness, intelligence and class
    just might be the highest goal you attain in life.

  5. VladoPortos says:

    Hahaha this was one funny letter, one thing. What on earth have people against “shrooms”, English is not my first language but i think he mean “mushrooms” and they are freaking great love them with eggs !

    All in all, classic christian zealot shining his love on all of us.

  6. John Phillips (aka Iron John Bonney) says:

    “The village called, they want the dumb fuck back.”
    Well hurry home then.

  7. Arash says:

    well well well, and i was thinking christianity was all about love! but no! our lovely(not his personality of course) Jeffery Hazelwood shows the true face of his religion ,christianity as any other religion CREATS and FEEDS ON hate and fear. religion makes ordinary people(or people with a little mental problems) to such douchebags.
    you know Jeff your graphic description of the things we deserve reminds me much of a period of time that people like you had absolute power. and the ways those people reacted to any kind of thinking that was not theirs. guess what it has a really interesting name! the DARK ages! i can easily imagine you as one of the inquisitors.
    and your crap about “I won’t come after you with my logic”, let me ask you a logical question, you believe that god created man in his image right? so does your god have an anus? does he fart?
    and while you are thinking about it, go grab a plate of pasta and meat balls. you’ll see that eating our lovely noodlely god’s image will help you think better unlike your christ’s blood you get in churches! i hope this exercise helps you to see which god is truly compatible with human nature!
    may the FSM touch you,
    PS i believe you have a small penis.

  8. BlackBard says:

    It’s always nice to hear from a fan. It makes me feel all warm and nice inside to realize that the Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster has such a profound outreach to have touch yet another prospective convert. Jeff is sooooo in need of a Noodly Touch! Let’s all hope he gets it soon. Otherwise, it’s probably stale beer and infected strippers for him.


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