Pirate boat feedback please

Published October 15th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson
James Wharram Pahi 63

James Wharram Pahi 63

What do you guys think of something like this for the FSM voyaging church? I will tell you a few reasons it appeals to me.

It’s something we can build together.

We can start right away. We have enough money to get started and we can buy more materials as we raise more during the build process.

It’s more realistic and practical. I like 200′ Galleons as much as anyone, but I don’t see a lot of them sailing around. Pirate boats are extremely expensive to buy and maintain, and require a large trained crew to sail. If we get one, it’s going to spend much of its life being rented out to pay for itself.

Something like this is relatively cheap (hundreds of thousands vs millions), simple to sail, lots of room.

The one in the picture is ~65′, I’m not sure the upper limit on sailing catamarans.

What do you guys think? Build or buy?

100 Responses to “Pirate boat feedback please”

  1. KMill says:

    Hmmmm… considering I’d really rather you didn’t #6. The Kiva donations ease my guilt somewhat, but I remain undecided.

    But since everyone is so keen (and I buckle to peer pressure), BUILD. Build something that looks like a pirate ship. Non-piratey appearances are an offence of the highest degree. If not, then we’re at risk of being considered ‘people’, rather than pirates.

    Even if the first ship is small, there’s nothing to say we can’t have a fleet of ships. Start at one, then work up as we spread the word. And whatever we spend, it’ll be tax deductible anyway – we’re a religion.

  2. Low Level Orc says:

    If we’re going to go for cheap and modern, there needs to be more than one.
    Have a dozen or so ships, enough to make it fairly easy for any American Pastafarians near the coast to join their local fleet.

  3. Chase McNasty says:

    Considering that pirates of lore used ships popular in their time and in their area to better blend in with other ships (to get close to them without drawing suspicion before boarding them and “spreading the word”). This is a perfect modern day choice for His voyaging church.

  4. Diane says:

    Buy one – less costly.


    Hmm – maybe I can get my dad to donate his boat. It has some electrical issue he can’t solve on his own and it’s just been in storage. He’d probably love to sponsor a Pirate vessel

  5. Kyle says:

    I’d rather you didn’t number 6.

    6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

    1. Ending Poverty
    2. Curing Diseases
    3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
    I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

    Don’t be a hypocrite dude. You could do something here. Make a real point. Give it to a charity and try to get on the news and you’ve done something. Don’t squander it on a joke.

  6. Christopher says:

    Please don’t get a Wharram.
    I used to be a boat builder and had to build 2 Wharrams for clients. They are easy to build and have great PR (topless women on almost every page of their catalogue) and look kind of piratty, but they are not good boats. The internal space is almost non-existant for the size.

    The Kelsall Cats have a much better layout with almost 4x the internal room, full head height and less draw.

    63 foot is an awesome length though

  7. Advantageous Mongoose says:

    I’m with the crew that says “just steal it”, then we use the money to buy as much rum as it can hold and if we’ve got any money left, then we bury it on a desert island for no apparent reason; other than that people will try to kill each other when they try to find it later. It’s WTFSMWWUTD.

  8. Ham Nox says:

    The point of I really rather you didn’t #6 isn’t to completely nullify the establishment of our church. By having an actual, physical commonplace to convene we add credibility to our beliefs and bring in more followers, which in the end helps the world by getting more kind-hearted pastafarian donations and lowering the global temperature. If we started taxing every official follower 15% of their income and building giant stone stripper factories to his noodleyness, then yeah we’d have a problem. But we need at least one non-internet place to get together!

    PS. I think Venganza ought to be in the ship’s name.

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