FSM Prayer

Published August 3rd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Truly, this be the way we Pastafarians must busy our hands when we pray.

The more fervent our prayers, the more wiggly must our noodly fingers be.


Bruce and Susan


232 Responses to “FSM Prayer”

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  1. Keith says:

    There needs to be a dispensation for those who suffer from arthritis.

  2. ATSAP REVOL says:

    Yes, Randy (#64), you are right. The kids these days barely understand the tetravalent nature of the carbon atom let alone its ability to form stereoisomers when substituents are added. As you pointed out, re-introduction of the doctrines of Pastafarianism into our public schools would bring enlightenment to young people and inspire them to learn basic chemistry, such as using the philosopher’s stone to transmute lead into gold.

    Magic should not be the province only of the other religions (e.g.: transubstantiation of wine into blood or translating inscriptions on golden plates with the aid of magic stones). When I was a youngster, we daily prayed to the FSM and felt the touch of his noodly appendages right there in our classroom. The seven “I’d Rather You Didn’ts” were displayed proudly on the wall. We were taught that our Founding Fathers were Pastafarians and that they intended this to be a Pastafarian Nation. We pledged allegiance to the Pirate Fish flag, inserting the mandated words: “One Nation Under The Flying Spaghetti Monster…”

    Oh, that we could return to the simple religious ways of our ancestors who trudged across the Parmesan Prairie and swam the Marinara Rivers to reach the promised land in Oregon!

    RAMEN **Bows toward OSU in Corvallis, Oregon, where Bobby earned a degree in physics, and loudly flatulates**

    • Dante Lista says:

      Actuallyz there are but 8 I Really Rather You Didn’ts. I like to correct people….sorry XD

      May you be touched with His Noodly Appendage and your stomach be filled with sauce.

      (Those kinds of schools would be way better than Catholic/Episcopalian/Other intolerant bullshit schools XD)

  3. Mawc says:

    its for FSM to stare directly into your soul. make your hands like that and he’s hes there. he will always with you. unless your an amputee. every religion has its discrimination…

  4. m3 says:

    Hey Spag is to eat not to worship… Fool

    • Bruce and Susan says:

      Our mothers did not raise any fools.
      (Plus we’re smart enough to know how to spell “Spaghetti”.)

    • Rocketsauce says:

      If you’re talking about spaghetti as a meal, then thou shall not have a capital letter, and thou shall not give it a nickname. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is very real, but I agree that he shall not be worshipped! Worship is such a bad thing… I don’t mind praying to him in a way of saying thanks though!

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