FSM Prayer

Published August 3rd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Truly, this be the way we Pastafarians must busy our hands when we pray.

The more fervent our prayers, the more wiggly must our noodly fingers be.


Bruce and Susan


232 Responses to “FSM Prayer”

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  1. atv tires says:

    I was studying something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your perspective on it is diametrically opposed to what I read to begin with. I am still reflecting over the various points of view, but I’m inclined to a great extent toward yours. And no matter, that’s what is so super about modernized democracy and the marketplace of thoughts on-line.I will are available back again.

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  3. Dante Lista says:

    Praying does not go against our flimsy moral standards. It just makes us more likely to be touched, show praise to His Noodlyness, and make sure we get limitless beer and limitless strippers in heaven. Besides, the chief pre-Henderson prophet, Ragu made many, many, many prayers and hymns. Even the great pirate of Pastafarianism, Captain Mosey, prayed for bountiful pillages and boardings….so yeah.

    • austin says:

      your crazy that peaice of junk u call a god isnt true there is only one god and its christ the lord

      • manda says:

        Hmmm you sure sound like a christian…plus can you post some more of those wannabe threats? they make me laugh :D (the cock sucking female humping camel thingy)

      • Zoli says:

        you’re* piece* you* at least pastafarians can spelld. RAmen

        • bruceo says:

          Don’t forget “isn’t”, “it’s”, and missing capitalization & punctuation.

          Good grammer is essential for good Pastafarianism!

      • Zoli says:

        Hey Austin.. your not going to even capitalize his name?? May the FSM have mercy on your soul and forgive you.

    • austin says:

      you cock sucking female humping camel suckling devil fucking son of a motherless goat

      • Dear Austin says:

        That is very un-Christian of you.

        Jesus is turning over in his grave.

        • nun sequitur says:

          i agree…yehushua (jesus) was more inclined 2 have said:

          may the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits, today.

          this sort of expression, very offensive in some circles…
          the above, not so imaginative.

      • April says:

        If you believe in Christ and you believe he is our Lord, you would follow true to him and not speak this way to others but instead teach them why it is wrong to call our God fake. We are commanded as Christians to:

        2) Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

        Ephesians 4:2
        New International Version (NIV)

        This means putting up with ignorance and remembering to love them as well.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          So we are ignorant? That is a little judgmental. It seems the ignorant one is the one who believes without question. Believes without doing the research for yourself. This same book that you quote… Humble and gentle very quickly turn into vengeful and deadly.

          Have you thought about us having to “put up” with the religious trying to indoctrinate young children in schools with religion masquerading as science? Why is it “wrong” to call your god fake? What is going to happen to me? If you have an argument for his “realness” then please. We would love to hear it.

        • stylusmobilus says:

          We don’t believe in your Christ nor do we believe he is our Lord, so you are out of luck.

        • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

          Also, many of us Pastafarians can ignore the “We are commanded as Christians” part. Too bad for them. The FSM (pesto be upon him) merely offers suggestions in the form of “I’d really rather you didn’t”.

        • BrightWhite says:

          Each side considers the other ignorant, but which side is right? In this instance, I would say both. Pesto be upon you.

  4. rosemorisoli says:

    I am looking for a nice prayer to send to my christian friends who send their nice prayers to me via email. Hopefully there could be some cute cartoon graphics along the side and an appeal to pass it along to people you care about. Is there such a thing?

  5. nun sequitur says:

    i think it may still b possible 2 text, this way…while praying. 4 todays multitaskers, a plus.

    The photo sort of reminds me of ‘here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors, here r the people…’

    Only, in fsm version, with all of the people falling out of the pews… & the steeple, having been bifurcated by a lightning bolt…

    unfortunately i think u have 2 b familiar with the presentation i m referrencing, otherwise nevermind…

    • megan says:

      omg… side.. hurts… rofl!

  6. manda says:

    I NEED HELP ok so my dad is a super christian freak (He litterally mentions jesus in every sentence) I have converted over to pastaferinism, how should i tell him without getting a lecture?

    • bruceo says:

      Lecture?! For FSM’s sake, manda! He’ll probably KILL you if come out to him! Keep quiet and pray pray pray!

    • Keith says:

      To be honest, manda, I think your father is the one in need of help.

    • BrightWhite says:

      To be totally honest with you on this . . . don’t tell him. It’s better to hide behind a mask then to be stuck behind a body cast.

    • TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

      Sorry, but you won’t. The truly religious LOVE to lecture. Personally, I think they’re trying to convince themselves the absurdities in their religion are logical. It takes a hell of a lot of effort.

    • Danny says:

      The lectrure is inevitable, so arm yourself with knowledge so you may counter every point he makes.

      • Keith says:

        You can arm yourself with whatever you like but with the “truly religious” you can parry, counter parry, reprise, attack, redouble, remise and they will still refuse to acknowledge the hit.

        • Danny says:

          True, they do have immunity to reality, but maybe you’ll offend them enough so that they’ll consider you a lost cause.

  7. Kara says:

    -__- WARNING: PERSONAL OPINION. for me and one or two of my friends (we go to a catholic school) pastafarian is like the happy medium between athiest and agnostic. In religion class we say the Pastafarian version of hail mary and our father I think Mr.Daly heard me once o3o

    • Keith says:

      I am assuming that Mr. Daly is one of your teachers and you don’t know if he heard you or not. If he did, I gather he did not react, which was rather nice of him. Other teachers may have taken a dim view of you expressing your individuality. Unfortunately my youngest nephew goes to a catholic school and they are obliged to engage in religious indoctrination (eg. doing projects about saints who were probably complete rotters in real life, assuming they existed at all ) Fortunately it does not seem to have affected his ability to reason and I hope it won’t affect yours, Kara.

    • Bruce (of Bruce and Susan) says:

      Kara, what is the Pastafarian version of the Hail Mary? Is it something you made up? (I haven’t ever seen it mentioned anywhere on this website.)
      Please let us know how it goes!

  8. Kara says:

    In advance we’re in 8th grade, caus’ haters gonna hate

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