I am a practicing Roman Catholic

Published July 3rd, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

I am a practicing Roman Catholic. And I am also 13 years old. I was on Yahoo Answers and found a question about “The Flying Spaghetti Monster” So, I clicked on it. I probably shouldn’t have but when the link finished loading, I almost cried. Its hard enough for me to have faith in God already, I’m the type of person who needs to have things proven to them, but I just found your site… Disgusting for lack of a better word. I also heard that you made this site because you wanted to get back at the Kansas School Committee or something. I am hoping and praying that this is a true fact, and that you really don’t believe in this. I know this is wrong of me to say. People should believe in whatever they want, but really, looking at some of the articles that you have written, It seems that your site is more of an “In your face” thing to the Christians saying “Haha, we can make a religion just as easy as you guys can, see how stupid it is now?” For example ‘Your just jealous that our god has bigger balls then yours’? Excuse me for my language, but thats just crap, again, for lack of kinder terminology.
Even so, if you made this as a joke, or something to pass the time, that doesnt mean everyone else sees it that way. I mean, come on, you have a majority of collage students believing in this, and hopefully they’ll see how stupid (excuse me for saying that, im just trying to tell you my opinion without criticizing you further then everyone else already has) this all was, and that they may want to rethink their ways, that maybe you’ve gone a little too far?
I relize this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old, but please take this into consideration…. If this whole thing is not a joke, im sorry, but if it was bobby… Thats kind of sad.


287 Responses to “I am a practicing Roman Catholic”

  1. Amused says:

    13 years old my ass. Unless…

    Are 13 year olds suddenly able to write even better than adults do? She actually used all the “there”s right. And she used “you’ve”, complete with the apostrophe.

    … until the last part, where she suddenly writes poorly again:

    “I relize this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old, but please take this into consideration….”

    Would a 13 year old ever say “this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old”? Ever?

  2. Ron says:

    Fake. No matter how precocious they might be, no 13 year old kid writes a message like that unless an adult is dictating it to them.
    Whoever you are, it’s pretty sad that you’re trying to deflect criticism by pretending to be a little kid.

    • Zuri says:

      Why is it hard for people to believe a 13 year old girl wrote this? I’m not even 12 yet, and I write the same way. I could’ve written something like this two or three years ago, in fact. Some kids are just really smart. In fact, when I was nine, I found my way onto a political forum. I told them I was a 9 year old, but after a while, they thought I was an adult posing as a little girl for attention.
      It’s not that hard for a child to get on the Internet. I started learning how to use a computer at age three. By the time I was around six, I was Web surfing on my own. 10 year old kids have YouTube and Facebook accounts. It’s not that hard to believe.
      Kids today aren’t like kids 30 years ago. 12 year olds aren’t outside playing ball and climbing trees and are all in bed by nine o’ clock anymore. Most of my friends are basically mini adults. In fact, I’m the most immature. I told them I still play with toys. and they looked at me like I was crazy.
      I’ll believe anything short of a baby.

      • TiltedHorizon says:

        Take it as a complement, personally I don’t recall being as articulate as you when I was 11.

        • nun sequitur says:

          Y would 1 choose 2 practice @ their religion as opposed 2 lets say developing an expertise, in it, i do not know…

          I heard 1 of the persons whom did assault me in an unsavory way is by now a parent…& allegedly a churchgoer. NEITHER impresses me.

        • nun sequitur says:

          …y i hesitate 2 tell any kid 2 go talk 2 a ‘trusted’ adult…the 1 present when her son was doing scary things was of NO value, merely by virtue of being present…because did nothing when could have stopped abuse. People scare me. For good reason.

      • nun sequitur says:

        what is up with people bashing offline activities? had i not suffered injuries preventing such, i would maybe b out breathing what is left of the fresh air on our planet & getting some exercise (not just texting outdoors). i used 2 do it lugging around a bulky walkman, sure & that dates me, i admit. they didnt have an internetwork when i was that age. we had 2 psychically contact 1 another & use devices attached 2 the wall by a curly bundle of wires…& also admit 2 having used 2 cans joined by a string. ..those were th days…


      • nun sequitur says:

        zuri, in accordance with your disregarding the response of my other post to u under the faith healing thread..what does discussion about age have 2 do,with the topic? it would appear u r disrespecting other age groups. further, while we r off topic, where IS santa? U mentioned tracking him on another thread…

        • The Reverend Toni Rigatoni says:

          You – off topic nun? What a surprise!

        • nun sequitur says:

          i hope rev u were sitting down & did not dump sauce on urself when the shock hit.

        • Zuri says:

          I’m not the one that started a discussion about age. I responded to an on-topic post, and casually mentioned that I was twelve. You caught that and made a conversation out of it. I wasn’t going to ignore that. Before you filter a post, think about how far you want the topic you made to go.
          How am I disrespecting other age groups? I’d like to know where you got that from.
          Merry Christmas.

      • nun sequitur says:

        another point..there is no possible way u can know what a child that many years ago was like, not as a firstperson observation…

        altho, i post this in order 2 make a reccomend8n 2 u concerning a documentary:


        it is considered controvertible…depending upon your core beliefs @ the outset of the film, as to what is verifiable and/or acceptable & what begs further question as opposed to best put aside…

        it is science to b sure, but delivered in such a manner that it should not offend your stated sensibilities, zuri…& since u said science is not your strong suit, this may help towards bridging some gaps in understanding. i had said u could b a geneticist one day, but the truth is u can do any # of things.

        whom is this santa u refer 2 & y r u geolocating him? is this not encouraging stalking?

        wishing u only the best.

        • nun sequitur says:

          It is official…there r official tracking sites set up…y any1 would encourage kids 2 track a non-related senior citizen around the globe is beyond me & seems almost creepy. Some1 needs 2 set up a study, track the kids geo-loc8ng santa over the years to find out how many find stalking acceptable, with or without santa as part of the equation…


          I am almost just kidding…
          Any1 trailing an author on a book tour could have the same said of them, i suppose.


      • nun sequitur says:

        response 2 zuris query: referrencing the post starting ‘why is it hard 4 people 2 believe a 13…’

  3. Olax says:

    There are in fact 13 year old kids who would be able to write this. I’m 22, but intelligent as I am (not believing in a bearded man on a cloud, but mocking him by pretending to believe in an Italian dish made in an American way) I would have been able to write this one sentence as perfectly as I do now when I was Erin’s age. (Everything misspelled in the above sentence is because I’m Dutch. Ha!)

    I think Erin’s a lot more grown-up (although Catholic) than most of the people visiting this website. I also think I have the largest penis in the world, and Michael Jackson is still alive. Believe. I mean, I believe Erin’s a lot more grown-up etcetera.

    @Erin: keep on believing whatever you want, and searching for proof for whatever you believe. If you find any, cling to it like a madman, it’ll be the only security you’ll ever find.

  4. Madi says:

    Its a REAL religion with over 10million people. We never say your religion is ridiculous so leave ours alone! If you think its stupid thats your problem. At least our heaven has a beer fountain. ;-)

  5. Reggie Dixon says:

    Erin You faker! Isn’t there a commandment about this? Say 40 “Hail Mary’s” straight away then eat some pasta.

  6. Peter Pan-theist says:

    I think its a tough call on fake or not. I have some well educated 13 year olds who can write this well, but at the same time Erin you seem a bit nieve to not get the joke.

    In case you are a teenager (or older but only thinking like a teenager), I would say this to you. Regarding your quote:

    //People should believe in whatever they want, but really, looking at some of the articles that you have written, It seems that your site is more of an “In your face” thing to the Christians saying “Haha, we can make a religion just as easy as you guys can//

    Your thought that people should believe in whatever they want – that’s great ! Keep it up, including yourself and don’t let others tell you what to believe. However, recognize that the satire on this site is not aimed at Christians only, but members of all faiths that depend upon a supernatural god that can’t be proven.

    If its a belief system you want, without the concept of god, I suggest you check out Pantheism, Humanism, and other schools of philosophy.

    • nun sequitur says:

      @ least ‘make a religion…’ was stated. most people initiating discussions with me on th topic do it from a supernatural standpoint, 2 start with…

  7. CaptainMalibuNiki says:

    I agree with #9 and #10; this sounds rather suspicious. Why would a 13 y/o care about what college students believe in? And “this all probably sounds silly from a 13 year old”?

    More like a mother of a 13 year old / college student. FAIL.

  8. Miss Terry says:

    Fake. Right. As fake as your deity, bro.

    I’ve run into your devotees on a political website, and they are some of the most intolerant and rude folks I’ve met online.

    It’s amusing to me how atheists always criticized Christians for being close-minded, yet do not perceive the blinders on themselves.

    Fortunately, there’s hope for everyone. :-)

    • nun sequitur says:

      ‘fortunately there’s hope 4 every1’

      not so long as certain 1s r using the term ‘bro’ when speaking 2 mixed company.

      signed, bra

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