I’ll pray for you.

Published June 27th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

I’ll pray for you. Really and truely.

You are obviously a very intelligent and witty person.

I hope that you have an amazing life and are happy and proud of who you are.

I also hope that one day you might give God another chance.

I don’t know what happened that caused you to turn from Him, or if you never did believe.

But I sincerly hope that you will know Him.

When you die, do you know what will happen?

I’m sorry if this comes across as just another ‘conversion’ speech.

Just please never give up hope in life.

Thanks for reading.
Love, Katie

224 Responses to “I’ll pray for you.”

  1. Jono Targett says:

    “But I sincerly hope that you will know Him.” :S

    I’m fairly sure, that in the bible, ‘knowing’ someone means sleeping with them. IE “he knew his wife and she bore him a son” etc.

  2. Eneas Komangetmy says:

    Dear Katie: thank you.

    You’ll pray for us. We’ll think for you.

  3. Jaguar Woman says:

    Good one, Eneas!

    I am so sick of sanctimonious tits saying they will pray for lost souls like us. I don’t care if they do it, but I wish they would stop saying they’re doing it. Shouldn’t they do this anonymously, anyway? Do prayers not work if the person being prayed for is not aware of them? This makes me think the ones doing the praying are looking for the glory that is supposed to go to their god.

    • Devin says:

      Let one noodly appendage not know what the other noodly appendage is doing?

      I agree brother Jaguar Woman.


  4. Ben says:

    Here, instead of “praying” for us, how about you take that time and help the homeless, it’ll do much more good for the world. Thank You

  5. Paul says:

    This seems to be one of the nicer e-mails, and personally I find it kind of sad that people see “I’ll pray for you” as some sort of offensive action, but in all reality at least it’s better then getting called a retard.

    I too am a Catholic, but I consider Evolution to be true, and no that ain’t sacrilege or whatever as the Church never really acknowledge it as “false,” some Catholics don’t believe it in it simply because they take the whole damn bible as truth, including the creation story. Me personally, evolution makes more sense, but I still see as if their is someone who needed to put everything in motion, whether that is God or the Flying Spaghetti monster himself is unprovable.

    Seriously though, to all those atheist who worship(?) the FSM, keep on doing. You have your beliefs I have mine. :P Intelligent design is indeed the weaker argument of the two, and personally I love how you guys have fought against it in a way which has provided me with many a laugh.

    In death, if the FSM is really real, hopefully he shall forgive me for not worshiping his holy and noddley goodness.

    • Cavatelli says:

      Don’t worry about it, below I pasted the first of the “I really rather you didn’ts” (they’re more like suggestions than commandments) As you can see, the FSM doesn’t really care if you believe in him or not. As long as you don’t screw up too badly, you can get into Pastafarian Heaven with the beer volcanos and stripper factories. Ramen.

      1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.

    • A Different Paul says:

      This is the response that should be coming from any sensible Christian.

      I’m an Atheist, I used to be a Christian, and I accept people have their faith and respect that fact. I also have no idea why people have to tell people that they will pray for them. I don’t think questioning the motive for them to say “I will pray for your soul” is actually infringing on their right to do so, but think of it from our side (the “non-believers”), it’s like me saying, “I’ll make a note in my journal that I hope you come to your senses and stop believing in God.” You’re basically saying without any doubt that you are right, and we are wrong, when you preach tolerance of religion out the other side of your face.

      Paul (the other Paul in the above comment) has basically made the only reasonable comment Ive seen made here, and has really taken the whole concept of the website as what it is.

      p.s. To all the Christians, I’ll make a note in my journal that I hope you come to your senses and stop believing in God.

  6. Taylor says:

    This isn’t really hate-mail, is it? Even if you don’t necessarily agree with her, it’s definitely more love than hate.

    • Danimal says:

      Hate-Mail and Concerned Criticism. Try doing things with your whole ass instead of just half of it.

  7. Not so hairless Ape says:

    You wanna know what “I’ll pray for you” translates out as?

    “You’re wrong. I know better than you. My delusions tell me that you are a sad, pathetic person in need of correction.”

    Every time I hear “I’ll pray for you.” I have to resist the urge to slap the taste out of the sanctimonious mouth that just uttered said phrase.

    • bruceo says:

      I always respond to anyone who says they are praying for something with, “Prayer doesn’t work. Prayer has been proven to not work.”

    • gordon_uk says:

      you could always respond with ‘and i will have a beer for you’

      • Not so hairless Ape says:

        That’s not a half bad idea.

        • Mird says:

          No it’s not. It’s a f*cking brilliant idea.

    • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

      You’re right about what they really mean, hairless. But look at it this way: when they’re praying for us, they can’t be going door-to-door with their pamphlets, protesting at the funeral of a fallen soldier that it was all caused by homosexual marriage, or attending school board meeting to push for anti-science.

      • Not so hairless Ape says:

        True enough, Proud, I just wish they’d do as their big book of rules tells them and do it away the view of others.

      • Waterseas says:

        Wow, apparently, you’re very good at generalizing. You act like all religious people do that, or even all christians. Wrong. Only a very, very small minority of them do such hateful things as protesting at a funeral. In fact, there are more atheists that do that sort of thing, if you go by percentages.

        • Cavatelli says:


          Have you ever seen atheists protesting at a soldier’s funeral because a non-diety told them too? Have you seen atheists going door to door trying to de-convert people? Have you seen atheists blowing up clinics that didn’t perform abortions? Have you seen atheists demanding plaques with blank spaces (usually 10) be put up in courthouses?
          Saying that atheists engage in hateful actions more than christians, even by percentages, is a bald faced lie. To habor hatred and evil like that requires belief in an evil violent diety that you can blame for your actions.
          May the FSM, a loving and peaceful God, touch you with his noodly appendage and show you the noodly path to enlightenment and peace.

        • Drained and Washed Clean says:

          Wow, apparently you are good at providing no evidence. Would you please provide the source for those percentages and accusations? A source not associated with the church would be great. It would also be great if you would show me what “normal” Christians are doing to stop these kind of atrocities? You can’t because Christians don’t speak out or do anything about this disgusting behavior. Yet you are here being nasty to us. Seems to me that if you think what they are doing is such a bad thing you would be going after them. Instead you are going after us who have done nothing. Why is that? Seems to me that you have a hatred for people who don’t agree with you. And THAT leads me to believe that you agree with Westboro.

          But if you would like to take a look at percentages… approx 86% of the prison population is Judeo-Christian. Atheists are only at .21%. So more Christians are doing bad things than atheists, if you go by percentages…

    • Shade says:

      Katie’s faith has made her a better person than you. I cannot respect you; her, I could.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        First of all shade, who are you addressing? And why does her faith make her a better person? Would she be even better if she believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny?

        • B. says:

          Santa makes for good children, since they are terrified of the fat man in a big beard watching them when they sleep.

      • stylusmobilus says:

        And bin Laden’s faith makes him a better person than Marinara? Nice one dimensional thinking hun.

  8. Megan says:

    All of you.

    Really? What good does all of this jabbing at each other do?

    If I say I’m going to pray for somebody, I genuinely am because I care. So stop making assumptions about people who pray just because you had one bad apple say it in a condescending way to you. That’s like saying because a black man stole my car (yes it really did happen to me that’s why I’m using this example), so all black men are car thieves.

    Give us a chance, and we’ll give you one.

    If you believe in the FSM, than so be it. But remember, that I have rights too.

    • gordon_uk says:

      In the manner it was put forward it was insulting, clinched by the line “When you die, do you know what will happen?”

      If Bobby had an accident and someone said they would pray for him most here would understand that was meant kindly rather like saying ‘I’m thinking of you’.

      Spot the diffrance?

    • Just some guy says:

      Ho hum, first things first, I think some of our fellow Pastafarianists may be a little too mean when referring to other religions and that I disagree with. Bigotry on any level by anybody for just about any reason is plain mean and bad spirited. However, there is some reason behind many of our responses and the general anger that comes when people form other religions say that they will pray for us, whether they meant good by it or not.

      You see, some of us just don’t like having someone shoving their religion down our throats, sorry to put it so bluntly, but we really don’t like it. So we would take it as a favor that you can expect we can assume that you are out there praying for us, just as long as you don’t have to tell us every time you do it. It can get repetitive and annoying, and then someone flips their lid and we all get bashed for it. So please, don’t come to our church talking about your God, and we won’t go to your church talking about yours.
      Thanks for listening,
      ~Just some guy

      • Shade says:

        Thank you for posting this. I was starting to worry I was the only one with that opinion.

    • Drained and Washed Clean says:

      I don’t recall any of you giving us a chance. By saying you are praying for us you mean what you are doing is wrong and I am going to pray to an invisible deity to change your mind so that you are right like me.

      I have the right to be left alone, so why don’t we start there.

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