I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you

Published November 18th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I would love little more than to beat the ever living tar out of each and every one of you. However, Jesus says i shouldn’t, because it is wrong. Jesus says for us to control our sinful impulses and be nice people. I want to be a nice person, and whenever im not as nice as i could be i say to myself,the greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising each time you fall. That, i believe, is the fundamental difference between atheist and Christians. Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable. May the LORD Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.

410 Responses to “I would love to beat the living tar out of each and every one of you”

  1. Frank Miles says:

    I’m curious as to how much beating would be required to reduce the hydrocarbons in my body to a state reasonably equivalent to tar, and to expel them from the remaining mass of me. (I’m going to leave aside the amount and kind of energy necessary to imbue those tars with the quality of life.)

    In conclusion, I’m declaring my belief that this guy just doesn’t have that kind of stamina. It’s a bluff.

  2. Gunga says:

    Question! Doesn’t scripture say that if you sin in your heart, it is just the same as sinning with your hands?

  3. me says:

    Not very nice, are you? By the way, many people who go on this site are religious.

  4. Drake says:

    So what you are basically saying is that a mass murderer who mends his ways after the fact is more glorious than someone like, say, Ghandi or Mandela?
    The greatest glory surely must be to never let yourself fall, no matter the temptation or provocation.

    eat more pasta, it helps to find commune with His Holy Noodliness


  5. JerseyStrong says:

    hahaha shittt, I knew I should’nt have eaten all that tar. My money says that squiggledorfs’ post was written with World Of Warcraft minimized, sitting in his bachelor pad (aka mammas basement). Be easy squiggledorf. Word.


  6. Ode to a Grasshopper says:

    All atheists are Hobbesians?

  7. sooshi says:

    “Atheists say evil is just our primal nature. ”
    Since when has this Squiggledorf been the spokesperson of atheists?? Has he/she spoken to any? I think to be an atheist one would not believe in the concept of “evil” as such – It’s a bit far to suggest that atheists have a *shrug* “Evil is just the way we are, lets go kill stuff then” attitude.

    “Christians say evil is both wrong and controllable.”
    Squiggledorf might also be interested to hear that Christians don’t have the monopoly on not being uncontrolled evil-doers…

  8. st. pastabeard says:

    Hey, Squiggledorf:
    Your god hates what he defines as evil, such as shellfish.
    Our Flying Spaghetti god hates assholes, such as yourself.

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