Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ

Published November 8th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ. The LORD says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed and even your own bobby. I will not be swayed because i have met God. God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept God, you are entered by the Holy Spirit of God Himself. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power God commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The LORD is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. God has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures i will fear no evil for God is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled. For the whole world will HATE you because of me-Jesus to His followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the Lord Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.

386 Responses to “Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ”

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  1. Ohio Pirate says:

    Yaaaawwn! The stupid hurts.

  2. Cpt.Marcel says:

    “God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them.”
    You claim, and I’m asuming here, to understand these spiritual things. That would mean you’re not a mortal being. What are you then? And please be brief.

  3. Tina F.C.D. says:

    “I will not be swayed because i have met God”

    Could you send him/her over to my house and introduce himself and have PROOF he is who he says he is?

    “I will never be convinced by words”

    Yeah, me either. Sorry, your letter is NOT going to convince even ONE person on this site. I assure you!


  4. Dennis A says:

    Christian wrote: “I will not be swayed because i have met God.”

    Much like Christian, I have also met God. She told me that she’d been screwing with this Christian guy, telling him he’d never die, saying she shared her power with him, saying her name was “Holy Yahweh” (Yahweh? For Christ’s sake! Really!), that he should fear no evil because she was with him, and such.

    God told me I should mock Christian so she could continue the ruse. She told Christian that his being mocked proved her existence.

    So there you go, Christian. You’re welcome.

  5. neal says:

    Christian the chucklehead, hello, just read your manifesto and it’s nice to know who I’m dealing with.
    I won’t try to persuade you of my point of view but I do have a question. If the universe is really 14.5 billion years old, and begun with a big bang, and if earth if 4.5 billion years old, and if as our science tells us, life evolved on earth a few hundred million years after earth accreted, and evolved for nearly 4 billion years before humankind made its appearance a mere 100,000 years ago, then how is mankind responsible for the existence of death and suffering in the world? After all, isn’t death and suffering the mechanism which drove life to evolve and create the diversity we see in our biosphere today?
    And if death has always been part of the bargain of being alive, and if humans evolved gradually from a group of lower level hominids, rather than being spontaneously created by a supreme being out of the clay of the earth, then what of original sin? Clearly we do not all share the same two original ancestors, so how can we share in the sin? Moreover, since we know that death was part of the bargain for all life since the beginning of life, what of the idea that death is the punishment god inflicted on all creation for the sin of the original two humans? In other words if there could be no original sin because there could be no two original humans who created original death, what is that you savior is saving us from? Death? Last time I looked on the obituary pages, death is still there. Disease still exists, so what is it that Jesus did that was so wonderful? Get nailed to a tree in his underoos to propitiate dad for the evil nature of humankind when it was dear of dad who created that nature? And why no slack on earthly suffering, why didn’t the death of J.C. by humankind a cure from at least on earthly travail, say, Congestive Heart Failure, or Diabetes, or Cancer, or maybe just stupidity? Why no concrete evidence that the deed even happened. Why not do it in the Anderson Cooper era instead of the Josephus of Arimethea era. In short, isn’t your religion just a cure looking for a disease?

  6. Monsignor Fogey says:

    My name is Monsignor Fogey which means My Lord Older person. I’ve met several gods, and was once in a room with three people who had all been Jesus.

    It is nice to know you’re going to hang around – most xians post once then go away. I expect His Patafarious Magnificence touches them with his noodly appendages in a very meaningful and personal way and cures them of their delusions. I guess if we don’t hear from you again we can safely assume that He has goosed you too.

  7. maxton says:

    Comparing bobby and darwin isn’t the way to mock this religion lol.
    we don’t mock christian’s so why do you mock us all we do is make pictures and biblical writings just like christian’s do. And by law FSMism has the same rights as christianity.

    Praise the mighty flying spaghetti monster for he is the only one who can cure this wandering soul of its misguided nature.

  8. benji says:

    Stop logging on this site. We do not want you here if you are not willing to discuss, and if you are going to play the “holier than thou” card. Somebody who asserts that he will never be convinced does not deserve that anybody disscuss with him.
    Screw yourself, and keep entertaining yourself with delusions. Keep convincing yourself that over 7 billion people, God has chosen you to fulfill his wrath. Keep convincing yourself that the false prophet God was talking about was not Jesus.
    I’ll eat pastas for you. RAmen.

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