Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism

Published October 30th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,

There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?

You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.


628 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”

  1. Damian says:

    Damian will now write the word “communicating” 1000 times on the chalkboard.

    Peace my followers!

  2. wedding cake toppers says:

    I found a site yesteday that appeared much similar to this, are everyone positive another person is not duplicating this website?

  3. Trish Vanhuss says:

    That was certainly concise. Appreciate it.

  4. Brian says:

    Visit this page to read the newly-uncovered, unadulterated and probably true story of the bible:


    Here is an excerpt:

    “It’s funny how history works out.

    About 2000 years ago, a young woman realised she was pregnant. She’d never engaged in more than light petting with her fiance, so this presented her with quite a serious problem. They didn’t have toilet seats in those days, so she had to think up an explanation, and fast. Eventually, she fell back on the old ‘I was kidnapped and sexually interfered with by an alien’ excuse, which she’d heard used before.

    Her boyfriend, a kind man but not the sharpest knife in the drawer, realised that he couldn’t blame her for this, and married her instead.

    The baby was born some time later and they decided to call him Jesus, which was quite a fashionable name in those days…………….”

  5. Nephtys says:

    “If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct”

    – because that’s what Jesus would do!


  6. Ghostwriter says:

    Nephtys says:… (mindless nonsense deleted to save bandwidth)

    Just a thought – you should try having one, it helps develop the brain – when you write hate mail of the lowbrow style you evidently favour, perhaps you should try to be a little more precise.

    For example, there is no reference to name, so your epistle could be aimed at anyone or everyone. Secondly, are you surt that the person to whom you are referring actually has an ass? Many people have cats, dogs and occasionally horses but asses are quite rare. That aside, why would you express hate towards someone who has a retarded ass? Surely anyone who keeps impaired animals must by definition be a good person and worthy of support? I doubt you refer to your own keepers in such a way, for example.

    That aside, when you want to make threats, you should use a positive verb, as opposed to a perfect modal verb expressing possibility (or uncertainty). Your words lose any credibility through illiteracy.

    Of course, you then refer to a ‘normal person’. Obviously, you believe that a normal person is one who enjoys illiterate rants towards unspecified recipients and makes imprecise threats to commit violence. One might question this definition of ‘normal’, even if in your specific trailer park it counts as such.

    Still, your verbal inadequacy lets you down here again: how can you beat someone senseless, assuming you are able to do so, until they believe the same things that a ‘normal person’ thinks is correct? By definition, thats impossible.

    Personally, I suspect Jesus was pretty much like any other religious ‘preacher’. A travelling con-man who scammed the less intelligent people of the world. People, more or less, like you.

    • Keith says:

      Couldn’t have put it better myself,Ghostwriter.

      • Ghostwriter says:

        Thank you. It needed saying.

  7. Ramon Nwagbara says:

    Hahah, A spring Airsoft gun would make a fantastic backup weapon however I wouldn’t desire to rely on it as my main weapon. you’d be way out gunned against these electric machine guns now in play.

  8. Kris Grimaldi says:

    authoring digital books is an awsome manner in which to generate passive money coming in, the major obstacle is marketing it

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