Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism

Published October 30th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,

There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?

You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.


628 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”

  1. Your Lord thy God says:

    Gotta love how the traditional Christian values in threatening to beat the hell out of anyone he (I say HE because women tend to be less outwardly violent) runs into whose belief system doesn’t match his own. Yay Christ-cultists!

  2. FSM supporter says:

    One true God and his one holy word

    The holy word is sex right?

  3. The Ghost Writer says:

    Sadly all of you are wrong. God, whether you call him God, Jehovah, Allah or Susan, exists. Feminists will note the use of the masculine object pronoun.

    Sadly, that’s the end of the good news.

    God gave us the Earth, life, beauty and music.
    We gave him religion and he’s not at all happy about that, which is very bad news, for everybody.

    I strongly suggest that you all stop calling him Mr Spaghetti and get enlightened. You can do this at http://www.godsvirus.com and, once you’ve discovered the truth, you can even ask God questions via his blog (www.godsvirus.org). This isn’t blatant advertising for a new (and not finished) website but a plea for mankind to wise up and save itself from the perils of religion before it’s too late.

    • Keith says:

      “God, whether you call him God, Jehovah, Allah or Susan, exists.”

      Evidence? References? (No,not the buybull: citing a work of fiction to prove another work of fiction is poor reasoning).

      • The ghost writer says:

        …and not even bothering to look to see if, as the reference to God being called Susan might suggest, the comment was actually in support of any religious deity or not. I note from my server reports that nobody bothered..and I know because the site is being constructed and is barely a week old so doesn’t have viewers yet. Proof that not only those who follow religion have closed minds. I am an atheist; my site is simpy aimed at poking fun at religion with a soft sense of humour (look it up in a dictionary).

  4. USmilitaryVet says:

    Absolute perfect example of the average christian.
    Not even bright enough to realize how he exemplifies the narrow minded, violent, lemmings.

  5. ronnie p. king says:

    Until somebody ponys up with a physical speciman, this gOd talk one is as good as any other. FSM-welcome to the maasive group of gOd lovers; which is better than a bunch of boring gOd haters. I’ll take love over hate any time. I like spagetti too.

  6. Damian says:

    My people, my people please come and gather. Those of us that are sisters and brethren must stay true to our beliefs and practice what we preach in regards to what we believe.

    Sisters and brothers who jump all over the brethren they feel insulted by are showing only fear as if they are compensating for their own hypocrisy. The wishes on here to the non-believer is exactly what has fueled him. It is not about going to church on Sunday to pray and accept forgiveness every time and then be a hypocrate to any of the 10 commandments during the week… like having sex, blowjobs, just looking at the nice male or female butt with no intentions except for noticing how nice it is, or even wishing bad on an atheist or Luciferian instead of trying to lovingly try for him/her to convert to your thinking.

    Well gang, just a hypothetical situation here… your daughter, sister, or any female that you are fond of is a person that you know hangs with the wrong crowd and is possibly a drug user. This one is a 16 yr. old blonde named Maggie whom only started bleaching her hair 3 years ago to maintain those baby locks. She still has that adorable baby fat in her cheeks and is a little chunky around the thighs. Her boyfriend is a 19 year old black male, 6′ 1″, 320lbs., named Greg. Maggie tells you that she is pregnant and you yell and cuss at her. In your mind you consider stoning her you are so pissed. Maggie was scared she would die and ran to her room in horror! However, you being the devoted Christian that you are, it didn’t take you long think about ‘WWJD’ so you calmed yourself down.

    Greg comes to see Maggie and they talk for some time. Maggie and Greg come to talk to you and let you know what “really” happened. Greg knew nothing about the pregnancy and had never even had sexual intercourse. Neither had Maggie for that matter. “Oh heavens! Maggie! and Gregory!” you say, “What has the good Lord done with this family”? Maggie then told you, “Dearest father/mother, an angel named Big “G” did cometh to me in the night and told me that I would bear the Son of the God.” “Praise the Lord” you, Maggie and Big G..uhh, I mean Greg, say in unison.

    You, Maggie, Greg, Jesus, and Jerry Springer lived happily ever after!

    Verily, I say unto you my lukewarm Christians calm yourself if your beliefs are real or the Lord may take all of us in the darkness of the night one day. Personally, I am not only a backslider, but also not dumb enough to believe any of the BS anymore. I don’t card anymore for any of the energies that may inhibit me in life.

  7. Damian says:

    Dearest followers,

    It is important to me to respect and stay in the structure that was taught to us in school.

    I have reviewed my post and noticed that I repeatedly misspelled the word hypocrite, had an occurence where I put the question mark before the quotation mark and left out a couple of words by accident in a couple of sentences.

    I have respect for the stucture of commuicating the English language and I am working on it.

    Thank you all of my followers!

  8. Damian says:

    Re: my last post


    I am so sorry. Thank you all of my followers. I love you all!

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