Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism

Published October 30th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,

There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?

You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.


628 Responses to “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism”

1 74 75 76
  1. Captain Birdseye says:

    As I read Annonymous’ letter, an image formed of him/her as a Biblical cage-fighter. I’d love to see him/her in action against Odin’s team.

  2. Atheist says:

    How can you say there’s only one god? I mean, I think there’s no god, but well, what about Buddah, Zeus, Neptun?! So, why do you think that a god, that lives somewhere in the sky and let his son suffer and die on this crappy earth, is better than a cute flying spagetthi monster? What’s your proof? The hell, don’t say the bible now… it’s just a book. You know, I read a book about a monster living under beds, that must be a proof… It’s okay for me, when you believe in such things, but please, stop being such a dumbass and let everybody find the religion, they want to believe in, okay?

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Actually, Buddhism is an atheistic religion. It’s the closest I come to endorsing a religion, they still have silly claims and a bunch of unsubstantiated shit, but a much better PR machine.

      • Keith says:

        I agree with most of what Atheist says, except the Buddha bit. Buddha is not a god. The word Buddha can be applied to anyone who has achieved enlightenment (in terms of Buddhism) and is like calling someone a professor of everything.

      • theFewtheProudtheMarinara says:

        Plus they don’t go door-to-door handing out tacky pamphlets.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          Although some in Sydney demand donations, and if you don’t have cash, they have portable credit card machines.

          Actually, they’re scammers impersonating Thai monks. The damage that scammers and now the charity-muggers do to genuine causes is terrible. A pox on both their houses.

        • Keith says:

          That is disgusting! I suppose the obvious question is: what is the law doing about such blatant criminality?

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          Apparently, if John the Baptist’s remains were collected and weighed, his dry weight would be tons and he would have several thousand fingers and toes. Selling such religious ‘relics’ was one of the favourite medieval scams.

          Buddhist monks/nuns are forbidden to ask for anything, though they may silently hold a bowl, and that should be the clue to the scammer’s victims.

        • SillyKiwiMan says:

          The cops didn’t do much, but the ABC and SMH ran stories on them and that seemed to alert the public enough to kick it in the arse. Dunno of the Murdoch press ran anything, but their readers deserve everything they get.

          Apologies to all for the Australian in-joke/ references.


  3. Sam says:

    I think that what I enjoyed most about this reply was the atricious spelling and grammar. How interesting that he or she is incapable of spelling the word “following,” yet finds him/herself in a position to mock us Pastafarians and our “stupid, childish mind(s).” Clearly this man has not been touched by His Noodly Appendage. Perhaps one day he was be visited by his Sauciness and we can all be united in a giant vat of Spaghetti Sauce.

    Praise be to His Noodly Monsterosity,

  4. تحميل افلام says:

    What’s up,I read your new stuff named “Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism « Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” like every week.Your humoristic style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing! And you can look our website about تحميل افلام.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      Your ineffable website name is written in noodles. It must be inspired by The FSM (may pesto be upon Him).

  5. Captain Birdseye says:

    I like the way that Anonymous advises that new-born babies should be locked in psychiatric wards until they become sane. Yeah, that’ll work….

1 74 75 76

Leave a Reply