I’m a bit confused

Published August 14th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I’m a bit confused about this website, and maybe someone would kindly enlighten me… Why take so much trouble to try and dismantle fundamental Christianity if you all sincerely disbelieve it?

I wonder why this whole movement feels like they’re so threatened by Jesus if he’s not real.

207 Responses to “I’m a bit confused”

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  1. Lucifer says:

    Dear Cato: Your Jeeesus was such a nice guy. Read your stupid bible and you will see he was responsible for starting the crusades.

    The birth of Jesus was heralded with “Peace on Earth,” yet Jesus said, “Think not that I am come to send peace: I came not to send peace but a sword.” (Matthew 10:34) “He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.” (Luke 22:36) “But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.” (Luke 19:27. In a parable, but spoken of favorably.)
    The burning of unbelievers during the Inquisition was based on the words of Jesus: “If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.” (John 15:6)
    Jesus looked at his critics “with anger” (Mark 3:5), and attacked merchants with a whip (John 2:15). He showed his respect for life by drowning innocent animals (Matthew 8:32). He refused to heal a sick child until he was pressured by the mother (Matthew 15:22-28).
    The most revealing aspect of his character was his promotion of eternal torment. “The Son of man [Jesus himself] shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 13:41-42) “And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched.” (Mark 9:43)

    Such a nice guy!!! No wonder they nailed him to a tree….


  2. Joe Marinara says:

    Where on this site is there any reference whatsoever to dismantling Christianity?

  3. Morbid says:

    Because we can my kind sir, And Kind sir, because we are.

    and that is that kind sir

    P.S. Cheak behind the toilet

  4. Raist says:

    Everyone is threatened by Jesus. Real or not, his image is part of a religion that endorses violence, murder, slavery, and hatred. Anything that causes suffering should be viewed as a threat.

    Thank you for asking your question like a civilized person without resorting to cursing and general stupidity. :)

  5. WelshRarePasta says:

    Your question is interesting, but let us apply your own logical process to the question you asked:

    “Why take any trouble to try and refute the so obviously farcical FSMism if you sincerely disbelieve it?

    Why does every Christian posting on this website feel like they’re so threatened by the Flying Spaghetti Monster if he’s not real?”

    However, I must say this: my friend Cato, so far you have provided the most grammatically correct attempt to logically discredit Pastafarianism. And for that, I thank you.

  6. Darwinfish says:

    We don’t feel threatened by jesus. We feel a bit threatened by jesus freaks who think their interpretation of jesus is correct and that anyone who thinks otherwise can/will go to hell. Ghandi said it best: “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

    The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is all about showing how ridiculous dogmatic religion is. I see what you’re insinuating (basically, that we’re closet fundamental xtians afraid of our own religion) and in the future, I’d reccomend coming out and saying it rather than just hinting at it. Or just don’t say it at all. We’re not a bunch of emotionally scarred ninnies here. We’re just trying to keep religious BS and science separate. And if there turns out to be a beer volcano and a stripper factory in it for us, so much the better.

  7. Sean Boyd says:

    None of us feel threatened by Jesus; after all, he doesn’t exist. On the other hand, his followers (and Mohammed’s, Krishna’s, etc) do exist, and cause an awful lot of trouble for the rest of us. Does that answer your question?

  8. Devout Pastafarian says:

    I think that what my fellow Pastafarians and I believe is that fundamental Christianity, like religion in general, must be critiqued. It’s not that we are threatened by Jesus, or that we think “he’s not real.” It’s that we are frustrated with millenia of brainwashing because a few people in power had active imaginations. Many people consider Pastafarianism to be fake or a joke. In reality, it has just as much basis in fact as many central tenets of various religions. We are simply angered when schools try to force “accepted religions” such as Christianity, or when society says that only religions who have strength in numbers are valid.

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