holy shit quit being such pussys

Published July 12th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain

[I thought this one was fake at first but I’ve changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]

227 Responses to “holy shit quit being such pussys”

  1. Sir Jebbington (Ryan Karpisz) says:

    Remember, if people give have habitually given you Christmas presents, you’re a Christian.

  2. Plague Chicken says:

    I wish I could assert that this level of overt idiocy was an attempt to provide fodder for the hate mail page and nothing more. Alas, I encounter oceans of people who would regard this poster as the height of coherence and rationality. Sadly, I say that this is probably real.

    With the myriad of challenges facing humanity, I wish we didn’t have to fight illiteracy, illogic and irrationality on top of everything else. Sadly, unless you do believe in miracles or are willing to support a semi-benevolent dictatorship (vote for me!), it seems that the rapidly falling level of education will inundate us in hordes of lemming-like people who would rather cling to a fallacious belief system than participate in progressing the species away from mere domesticated primates to thinking, rational and logical homo sapiens. We have the label now, but as I look at many of my fellow primates, I can only conclude there isn’t a lot of ‘sapien’ in a majority of the herd.

  3. Joe Marinara says:

    Fake. But if I am wrong, let this person show his toughness by stating who he is and where he’s from.

  4. Bobert says:

    Who let George Bush on his computer??

  5. Fred says:

    Or Christian.
    Cey, I fixed this for ya…

  6. rpgwhore says:

    I vote real and very very stupid.

  7. Sir Gary the Mostly Good says:

    Bobby, I’m starting to think the majority of the hate mail posts are fake, and I imagine the original posters laughing their asses off when we (the members of a parody web site) fail to recognize the post as parody, and respond to it as though it was genuine. I’ve even suspected you of creating some of them, just to yank our strings a bit. I also wonder if we are seeing ALL of the hate mail, or just a selection of the juicier ones. A rational dialog with a poster willing to respond would be nice for a change, vs the ‘fuck u’ class and the usual group of standard responses.

    On the other hand, the post does make a point. Just why IS Christmas an official holiday? Consulting that never-wrong oracle, Wikipedia, I read Christmas as “being declared a federal holiday on June 26, 1870 by then-U.S. President Ulysses S. Grant”. Other posters have pinned down the chronology of the appearance of “God” on coinage, currency, and the Pledge of Allegiance, so that date frames in nicely with those. Whatever. The fact remains that many non-Christians celebrate Xmas, and as the post says, it’s more about the presents (and the resulting Winter-time economic stimulation) than it is about worshiping Christ. So, why didn’t the Founding Fathers make it a holiday to start with, instead of making us wait a century? Hmmm….

    Assuming the post is real, the poster should realize that the quarrel is not with SAYING the words “under God” (because I don’t), but with their presence there. I don’t want to see “under the FSM” there either. Nor do I wish to confuse The Pilgrims with The Founding Fathers, something many of the hate mail posters seem to have trouble with, there being an immense difference between the two.

    I particularly like the “go somewhere else if u dont like it” phrase. We ARE somewhere else, the FSM website. You came to us, person with a brain, remember? And clearly, regarding a Xian nation, if “every one knows that it was”, then there would be no controversy regarding the Kansas School Board, and this website wouldn’t exist.

    As for anything else: The Flying Spaghetti Monster said it, I believe it, and that settles it! …. RAmen.

  8. Noodlenut says:

    @ Laura, I get a lump in my throat to know there are young people as intelligent and well educated as you growing up in the U.S. It gives me pause that one day we’ll see a president that will stand up and say something like ‘Don’t judge me for my beliefs, for I believe in science’ or something of that nature.
    Living in Australia it’s hard to not think of the States as some breeding ground for christendom, largely due to what we get shoved down our throat by the Oz media (don’t get me started). But you and this site give me hope that one day ‘we will overcome’, to borrow a phrase…
    As for our latest hate mailer, he has probably forgotten to take his meds after his lobotomy… so he probably should have signed off with ‘person with a part of a brain, which isn’t functioning real well, as you can see by my atrocious spelling and logic’.
    p.s We are currently being invaded by xtian pilgrims for the World Youth Day and their leader Pope Pontius the Pointy Hat has just arrived, could everyone please pray that the He makes an appearance and touches them with His noodly appendage.

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