holy shit quit being such pussys

Published July 12th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain

[I thought this one was fake at first but I’ve changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]

227 Responses to “holy shit quit being such pussys”

  1. Sarah says:

    I think it’s fake – true Christians are scandalized by the commercialization of Christmas, and certainly do not believe that celebration of the holiday is enough to make one a Christian.

  2. StJason says:

    I think it’s really real, Bobby…

    This is why we cannot beat them with logic, fellow pirates. Faith is the tenacious clinging to a single pebble of belief, fully in the face of mountains… no planets… no galaxies of proof against it. Mr. Brain here would fully cling to his beliefs even if Jesus himself, looking like the bizarre, long-haired hippy white guy that the churches always seem so fixated upon, even if Jesus himself came down and told Mr. Brain to knock it off, he would still cling to this belief. Sad really. It’s a good thing that we know the TRUTH, and the truth tastes good…

  3. GummiHU says:

    I’m not so sure this is a fake, there are actually people this stupid in the word.

  4. Zorbathedwarfsmasher says:

    Nah, if the others are real then this one has to be too…
    But my my, hasn’t Mr Dictionary deserted us again?
    Notice he said nothing about christianity in schools. I think it’s because he’s never been to one.

  5. Laura says:

    Unfortunately, I’ve run into far too many of these people to actually believe he/she/it is fake. Chances are, it’s some angry little kid who’s listened to his/her/its parents too much to be able to think for itself. Unfortunately, this kid and/or its parents are sadly mistaken about…well, everything.

    It seems they have forgotten that Christmas is actually a “national” Pagan holiday, not a Christian one. Therefore, by their logic, that person is a fake Christian because he/she/it observes it as a holiday, and I’m willing to bet the same can be said for Easter. Labeling it something different from what it originally was called doesn’t make it a miraculously new holiday, it just has a new label now. But, sadly, this is obviously enough to fool the not-so-intelligent and even less educated. (Of course, not all non-religious people partake in Christmas. My boyfriend doesn’t, and I don’t – as much as possible while being a minor in a Christian household.)

    Also, let’s take a moment to review our history, shall we?

    “The religious views of the Founding Fathers are of great interest to propagandists of today’s Americans right, anxious to push their version of history. Contrary to their view, the fact that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation was early stated in the terms of a treaty with Tripoli, drafted in 1796 under George Washington and signed by John Adams in 1797:

    ‘As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.'”

    And in conclusion, class, people suck.

  6. DrainedAgain says:

    Well, it certainly seems like other hate mails – atrocious spelling, leaps of logic, and total disregard for facts – so it does seem legit.

    Scarecrow –

    I haven’t seen anything on here of any Pastafarians getting “affended” by the pledge of “allegince”, so I assume you made up this part, probably from having a bad digestion. Might I suggest some noodly goodness, easy on the marina and cheese.

    Christmas is an appropriated holiday, originally the festival of Saturnalia held by the Romans. The Christian church(es) at that time couldn’t stop people from celebrating during the Saturnalia – including the exchange of gifts and lighted trees and December 25th (q.v. Mithraism) – so they appropriated the holiday and made it their own. The Roman pantheon and Mithraism passed out of favor, so these traditions only remained in Christian celebrations.

    You mean that only Christians can exchange gifts on Christmas??? You’re not really from around here (i.e., U.S.) are you?

    Christians just have the best PR. They appropriate everything, even their mythology.

    The “nation wasnt found by christians is dumb” argument isn’t worth addressing, since it’s already been addressed many times on this site (and through history). But I will say this much – most haters like yourself seem desperate to find something that validates your belief, so small facts like some of the founding fathers (and mothers) were no doubt Christians gets fallaciously stretched to mean “the country was founded by Christians”, which “who the fuck r we kidding” is really code for “founded as a Christian nation.”

  7. Connor says:

    This one is probably fake; there are too many misspelled words.

  8. Jabster says:

    Well there have been lots of muttering that it’s to stupid to be true – well all I can say is some people believe that man and dinosaurs co-existed and the world was created in six days. I think it’s a fake but there’s always that nagging doubt that yes people really are this stupid.

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