it is kind of sad

Published May 2nd, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

It is kind of sad that you think you merit so much attention. L. Ron Hubbard at least had the good sense to make his religion a secretive pyramid scheme; you don’t exactly measure up. So you’ve become reduced to begging the internet anonymous for help. Hey, maybe a personal finance blog or two will get you started: you know, cut down on your daily double mocha triple frosted frappachino, put that money in a high interest cd. But you would have to actually work for the money then. umm, yeah fuck off

87 Responses to “it is kind of sad”

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  1. Aaron says:

    As a person who works full time in wealth management, and has spent years studying economics, never, EVER, use CDs as an argument when mounting an offensive aimed at how a person derives their income and what they do with their time or their money. CDs have only slightly less opportunity cost than blowing it all on lapdances and nachos. Furthermore, high interest CDs don’t exist, so your entire point is rather paradoxical.

    There’s a lot of financial literature out there, get back on your boat and pick up two copies of a basic economics text before you come back.

    Have a nice day,


  2. Cappy Caine says:


    I don’t think you understand how good it feels to be touched by his wet, noodly appendage. When he touches me, I quiver. No amount of money, not even at 8% return on a 12 month “cd,” can buy that kind of love. Yes, I said it: I LOVE his noodly appendage, so sue me!

    Also, CoFSM is the best investment around because if it’s true, I get so many of his blessings for doing, really, not much but quiver at his touch. If it’s not true, I still get to be touched at least twice a day by his long, wet noodle. You tell me the investment that can deliver that kind of return!


  3. James D King of Pirates says:

    We target inteligent design, not Scientolgy, yes L. Ron Hubbard, not our main focus yet still evil. So stop emailung us tom cruise, get a life and back off.

  4. ET, the Extra Terrestrial says:

    *stands agape, in complete awe of Jeremykeys*

  5. neal says:

    Suze Orman’s personal assistant weighs in with financial advice for Bobby.

  6. capekicks says:

    I’m glad we at least merit your attention. A big plate of delicious pasta can chase sadness and blues away.
    Look around the FSM site.
    It ain’t about money.
    It’s about freedom.
    (Pastafarians even occasionally refer to the Constitution. Imagine that!)

  7. Cape Buffalo says:

    L Ron Hubbard was a fucking cunt, only slightly less deserving of a good assassination attempt than Jerry fucking Fallwell. Those men were not funny and posed a serious threat to society.. Bobby IS funny and poses no threat.

  8. MrDucky says:

    well said jeremykeys
    i want a pirate ship rather then a lame hall with a cross on it… it can be like pirates of the Caribbean and you can hold marriage ceremonies on there… and good ol’ tentacle face had an organ i believe…
    may you be enlightened and touched by His noodly appendage

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