You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God

Published March 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.

And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.

I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.

I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.

Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.

You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.

This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.

He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.

He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.

You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.

I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.

I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.

I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.

Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.

Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.

Yup, you guys got it figured out.

Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.

Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.

What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…

433 Responses to “You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God”

  1. Ed says:

    Why’s it always gotta be about communism?

  2. Paisley the Pirate says:

    We do not advocate violence, therefore I’m not gonna punch you in the face for a ridiculously long, drawn-out, pointless e-mail that went way off base and ended up not making sense at all.
    Oh yeah, and also, since we don’t advocate violence, I doubt we’ll be choking anyone with a plastic bag anytime soon.

  3. Rev. Connor says:

    See this is a classic example of the “Straw man” Fallacy. Our argument has been distorted and radicalized and then the weaker argument is disproved and the arguer claims victory over the original argument. This guy goes a step further and brings up poop. Well done, you have committed an extraordinary long and boring fallacy, and brought up poop, well done.

  4. The Josh says:

    CONGRATULATIONS! We have a winner. The absolute dumbest comment ever posted on here.

    First of all, you are a testament to the substandard school system from which you came.

    I suggest you read a little bit about communism, then maybe come back with some other, far fetched reach of a comparison thats a bit more accurate.

    Second of all, do you really want to compare death stats? Because communists dont hold a candle to the absolute atrocities committed by those in the name of their god, nor can they compete with the numbers. I’m sure you knew that though.

    Thirdly, are you really saying that evolution is incorrect because of a failed experiment by the Soviet Union? I hate to tell ya, but they werent exactly authorities on the subject. You would know that if you understood evolution, which creationists usually dont. They choose not to. If they actually learned about it, it would mean that everything they lived their life by would be wrong. That would suck, so they ignore it.

    So yea, congrats on the dumbest post I have seen on here, as well as the dumbest think I may have ever heard. You are an embarrassment to humanity.

  5. Sarah says:

    Do you visit a faith healer or a hospital when you are ill? If it’s the latter, you are just as much of a “materialist” as we are. I guarantee you that your doctor (assuming you have one) not only believes in evolution, but has learned things from its study that has allowed him/her to improve your health and save the lives of many people. And by the way, none of the men or societies you mentioned above ever claimed to be pastafarian, nor have pastafarians ever claimed that communism is part of our religion; so I really don’t see where you are getting that from. May you be touched by his noodely appendage. RAmen.

  6. Spartan says:

    Worship our own waste? No! Of course not! The Noodly One is eternal, and one could not even dream of being able to eat a being of his power. He was the one that created all noodles (and meatballs) in his image.

    About the materialism, you do realize that the people you mentioned were not doing the things they did because they were materialists. In fact, you could say that they advanced the belief there was a god, the state. Also, I must mention the Crusades, the Inquisition, and the witch-hunts, all of which were conducted for and to uphold Christianity. Seems that Christianity doesn’t provide people with the morals it claims it does.

    May you be touched by His noodly appendage,

  7. Ande says:

    I cant see your connection materialism-communism. As far as I understand materialism is the notion that things make you happy (sometime it does, like a new computer) and this leads to a very high consumptionrate. If we should look at consumptionrates in the world, I believe that we find united states at the very top, westerneuropean contries a bit behind and then there is russia and a small gap and then the rest of the countres with sudan or some other country at horn of africa at last place. What does this tell us? well, it seems as materialism or the “get whatever you want and be happy (a while)” filosophy is present where you have a economic climate that allows to get what you want. That is liberalism and free trade and not communism.
    Communism is intended as a paradise where everyone can rely on the collective and everything is fair. In reality however it just a nicerlooking form of facism where leaders say they do what is best for the people insted of the country while they’re doing what’s best for themselves.
    by the way, what does this got to do with anything?

  8. Draconic says:

    Our philosophy is not theirs. You suck. Get educated.

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