Billions of years ago

Published February 26th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

“Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on it’s surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid, and a tab. Millions of years later, red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words “Coca Cola… 12 fluid ounces.”

Of course my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the Coca Cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident is to move from the intellectual free zone.

Here is another:

“The Banana: The Atheist Nightmare”

Note that the banana…

1. is shaped for the human hand.

2. has a non-slip surface.

3. Has outward indicators of it’s inward contents. Green – too early, yellow – just right, black – too late.

4. Has a tab for removal of it’s wrapper.

5. Is perforated on wrapper.

6. Has a bio-degradable wrapper.

7. Is shaped for the human mouth.

8. Has a point at the top for ease of entry.

9. Is pleasing to the taste buds.

10. Is curved towards the face to make the eating process easy.

To write that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to write that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

Test 1.

The person who thinks the Coca Cola can has no designer is:

A. Intelligent

B. A fool

C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious

Now the document that I am referring from states that the eye has 40,000,000 nerve endings and focuses it’s muscles approximately 100,000 times a day. and that the eye has a retina that contains approximately 137,000,000 light sensitive cells.

The document continues and states that Charles Darwin stated:

“To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree” Agreed… it does not have the reference recorded so I do not know if this statement is true or false. But let me get to the point at hand.

If man can not create the human eye then how can anyone in their right mind believe that it was created by chance? In fact… man can’t create anything from nothing… we just do not know how to do it. We can re-create, reform, develop… but we can not create one grain of sand from nothing. Yet the human eye… is a mere tiny part of the most sophisticated part of creation – the human body.

Again… another statement which I would have to research and verify if this person actually made this comment:

“George Gallup; “If I could prove God statistically; take the human body alone; the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen, is a statistical monstrosity.”

Now this statement concerning Albert Einstein. This is confusing… why would this man contradict himself? If he stated this… then every other statement that has been quoted at this forum is invalid because the man appears to be speaking from both sides of his mouth. In this statement Einstein is quoted to have said:

“Everyone who is seriously interested in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe – a spirit vastly superior to man, and one in the face of our modest powers must feel humble.”

Test 2:

1. Do you know any building that did not have a builder? Yes? No?

2. Do you know any painting that did not have a painter? Yes? No?

3. Do you know any car that did not have a maker? Yes? No?

If you answered “Yes” to any of those statements… please give details:______________________…

Third analogy:

Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and then by chance fell into ten rows of five oranges? Logically, anyone with an intelligent mind might conclude that someone put them there. The odds that ten oranges would fall into a straight line is mind boggling. Let alone ten rows of five.

Test 3

Yes or No 1. From the atom to the universe is there order?

Yes or No 2. Did it happen by accident or must there been an intelligent mind?

3. What are the odds of 50 oranges falling by chance into ten rows of five oranges? ______________________________…

To declare that there is no God is to make an absolute statement. And for an absolute statement to be true; one must have absolute knowledge. Here is another such statement: “There is no gold in China.”

Test 4 What would I need to have for that statement to be true?

A. No knowledge of China?

B. Partial knowledge of China?

C. Absolute knowledge of China?

“C” is the correct answer. In order for the statement to be true, I must know that there is no gold in China.

Likewise; to state that there is no God and to be correct then you are stating that you are omniscient. You must have absolutely certain knowledge that there isn’t one.

Let’s say that a circle contains all the knowledge of the universe. And let’s say that you have an incredible understanding of one percent of all that knowledge. Is it possible that the knowledge you haven’t yet come across, that there might be ample evidence to prove that God does indeed exist?

If you are reasonable, you would have to admit, “Having the limited knowledge I have at present, I believe that there is no God.” In other words, you don’t know if God exists, so you are not an atheist. You are an “agnostic.” You are like a person that looks at a building and doesn’t seem to know if there is a builder.

Test 5 The man who sees a building and doesn’t know if there is a builder is:

A. Intelligent

B. A fool

C. Has an ulterior motive

In summary: There are plenty of things that we have faith in that we do not fully understand. Most of us do not have a complete understanding that when you turned your computer on as to why it worked. You took a step of faith that turning it on… that somehow that it would work. You accept the unseen electrical waves that appear right in front of your eyes when you type your comments here. We do not see the reason for why the messages appear… because the powers that be are invisible to the naked eye. For them to be manifest, we need a monitor… so we can enjoy the experience of this forum.

God is not flesh and blood; He is an eternal Spirit. Immortal and invisible… like the computer waves. He can can not be experienced unless the monitor is turned on. One should approach the Bible in the same way as the monitor. If it works, enjoy it and if it doesn’t, forget it.

Or do you have an ulterior motive? Could it be that the “atheist” can’t find God… as a thief can’t find the policeman? Could it be that your logic is clouding your good judgment?”


613 Responses to “Billions of years ago”

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  1. Fusillier says:

    “10. [ a banana] Is curved towards the face to make the eating process easy.”

    I am holding a banana and it is curving AWAY from my face!!!

    “George Gallup; “If I could prove God statistically; take the human body alone; the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen, is a statistical monstrosity.”

    Actually, the universe is so enormously vast that the chance of us NOT happening is statistical monstrosity (and who made George Gallup the font of all knowledge anyway?)

    However, most of what you say is of course true, and points firmly to the existence of His Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Just substitute ‘FSM’ for everytime you have written ‘God’ and you will see what I mean!

  2. Baked Ziti w/ Mussells says:

    To save a group of people a father lets his son be tourtured to death;
    A this father is a blithering idiot
    B this father doesnt exsist
    C if this father isnt worth SHIT as a father
    D Lupus
    E everything but Lupus the answer is never Lupus

    Anyone can make logic statements supporting their claim and make them sound intelligent, thats just good PR. To make a logic statement and a Joke refrenceing House MD ///well that just takes some Noodely Goodness

  3. CheesySteve says:

    We are aware God isn’t flesh and blood, he’s spaghetti and meatballs.This poor soul obviously does not like or understand natural selection and requires a more balanced spiritual diet. I pray his noodly appendages touch your heart some day soon.

  4. sehr gut! says:

    i would reply to most of that but it’s bed time… (maybe i will tomorrow)

    anyway try reading anything by richard dawkins (i.e. the selfish gene, the blind watchmaker, the god delusion). they should rebuff most of “your” points

  5. Robin Lionheart says:

    I see you’re recounting the flawed arguments from episode 7 of Ray Comfort’s Way of the Master at us. has a point-by-point breakdown of the flaws in these fallacious arguments, as well as others made in that episode.

  6. Nurturer Nate says:

    But we share the same opinion, we also think that the world had to have been intelligently designed, we just disagree on whom did the designing. But even so, you should make sure all of your examples apply fully. Bananas used to have seeds, before they were domesticated. Natural selection would cause the bananas that are simpler to hold to be eaten (and spread) more often.

  7. Kerri says:

    Christians are so egotistical, to think that everything must have been created by man. Because, let’s face it: God is created to by man to elevate man, to delude us into thinking we’re more important in the grand scheme of things than we really are. Your Coca Cola and building ideas are examples of man-made objects and therefore make no sense to compare to “godliness.” As for the banana, yes, it happens to be so conveniently “pro-human,” but what of the, oh, thousands of other food choices out there that aren’t so obvious? What about the near-impervious coconut, the almost-deadly rhubarb, the hard to find truffle? It is by random chance that the banana happens to be so very convenient. Besides, if it’s so designed for humans, God must obviously greatly approve of oral sex because the banana just screams “LOL I’M EATING A PENIS!”

    I ask you, Jonathon: why do Christians insist that atheists and agnostics are “lost” and that we deny God because we don’t want to admit it? Why can’t you accept that not being Christian makes some people very happy? That’s what religion and beliefs are really about: being happy with the world around you. And yet you people can’t seem to go a day without bringing non-Christians down, without believing that your way is the only way. Let us believe what we want, please. And do not attempt to “logically” insult our intelligence.


    He started with the banana….





    …was specially designed by his imaginary friend, you idiot the banana was domesticated by humans, the natural version is a fibrous fruit that resembles an elongated hand grenade.

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