I feel really bad

Published January 19th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I feel really bad for everyone who is here and is joking on the one and only true God,who created you, loves you with all His heart and died for your sins so that you could go to heaven and not and unimaginable place of Hell where there is no strip clubs and volcanoes of beer. Hell is a real place, and i guarantee if you were to look down on hell for 30 seconds you would be too sick and defiled and would live your life perfect until you die, regretting every sin you have done in your life. I will pray for all you jokesters who think this life is just for fun, because whether its in this life or after you die, you WILL realize that there is a true God, the only difference is that if you wait until you die you will be spending ETERNITY in Hell, and at that time its to late for forgiveness…….
– T-Jones

Update 1/21/08 – Another message from T-Jones:

you guys want proof? huh? since the Holy Bible isn’t enough for you because it was written over 2,00 years ago,even though all the historical facts in It line up and are proved 100% accurate. Just look at yourself for while, I guarentee you are living a life of sin and could care less what you do and want to believe in some spaghetti monster because he doesn’t care either, and you want to ignore anyone telling you to stop your life of sin. thats why most people don’t believe in God,it’s because they aren’t willing to hang up there life as it is. just look at true christians, most are trying to avoid sin,we aren’t perfect and we still commit sin sometimes, but were not God.most of you guys I bet feel like you have everything but for some reason missing something, well that is Jesus telling you that nothing can feel that gap, not sex,drugs,beer,cars, applainces or anything else, just Him. And For all you Guys that keep asking “How can a good God, send people to Hell?”, well let me tell you something, HE DOESN’T, incase you don’t read the Bible let me tell you the story. In the begginign before man was alive there was just angels around, with God in 1st command and Lutheran (better known as Satan) in 2nd. So, one day Satan thought he was better than God and got some angels and went to take over, well it wasn’t even close and God made a place for Satan and his followers to stay at(known as Hell). Now that there was sin around, so God decided to make man and woman in his own image, therfore makeing Adam and Eve. after God made them He told them to not eat of the fruit of good and evil, but then Satan came along and convinced Eve to eat of the fruit, therefore disobeying God and practically following Satan meaning man-kind doomed to Hell. God knew that too,and the only way he would forgive, is if someone perfect were to die for the sins of man-kind. and the only person that could do that was Jesus-Christ, the son of God. So Jesus came to earth and died on the cross, rose again the third day and descended to heaven 40 days later. This gave man-kind a second chance to spend eternity somewhere else other than Hell, that place which is Heaven. The only way we can go to Heaven is by believing 100% that Jesus Christ died for our sins and ask forgiveness for all sins we have committed and that Jesus may live in our hearts and promise to try and live a better life.(The whole process is called Salvation).. So you see, God doesn’t send us to Hell, he is giving you a second chance, you can either continue to live a sinful life and not have anything to do with God and follow Satan. or you can follow Jesus and believe in Him, which will send you to Heaven if you believe 100%. yea no-ones perfect and God doesn’t expect you to never sin again after you become saved. but does want you to represent Him good and try and live the best you can, and plus once God enter your heart, you will feel very guilty for all the sins you commit.

***like I said you don’t have to believe me right now, but you will believe sometime, i just pray that you guys will believe in this life and not have to regret it in the next one!!!

207 Responses to “I feel really bad”

  1. Michael (Satan's Brother) says:

    Say!, when is my Father going to end this feud?
    Yours faithfully – ‘Crossed Once – Never Again!’

  2. Mr White says:

    So hang on.. there was someone with a cam-corder behind the tree in the garden of eden?? probably trying for, you know, candid pictures, eh, candid.

    which would make Eve the first stripper. wahay. i like the way you think.

    but if there was no photographic evidence from genesis then how do we know it’s “100% accurate”

    I’m sorry but anking me to take your imaginary friends word for it just isn’t gonna sway me. And your word doesn’t count cos you’re just spreading the original gossip.

    it’s like. “I know a bloke who knows a bloke who’s brother is married to this bloke’s aunt on his mother’s side, well she said that her hunsband has a mate that knew a bloke that he met down the pub that knows a bloke.. (fill in as many as you want i got bored) who had a cam-corder in the garden of eden”..

    doesn’t really wash does it?

  3. Cobra says:

    “you guys want proof? huh? since the Holy Bible isn’t enough for you because it was written over 2,00 years ago,even though all the historical facts in It line up and are proved 100% accurate.”

    And I suppose pigs fly as well? Someone clearly skipped real history class. Proved 100% accurate by whom? The church? Gee, that’s reliable since they’d really say that information in their holy text is false. Some of these people seem so brainwashed it’s pathetic. How can they honestly believe this stuff? Absolutely pathetic.

  4. bort says:

    so the bible is a guide for moral behaviour…
    This is not a god i would choose to worship, and demonstrates that any who regard the bible a basis of their morality have not read or understood it.

    Before anyone says ‘we only follow the New Testament…’ may I remind you of
    2Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness (ie: follow the whole book or none of it)

    Gen19:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
    19:6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
    19:7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
    19:8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

    Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two “virgin daughters” instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to “do unto them [his daughters] as is good in your eyes.” This is the same man that is called “just” and “righteous” in 2 Peter 2:7-8

    19:31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
    19:32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
    19:33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
    19:34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
    19:35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
    19:36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

    Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave for a while. The daughters get their “just and righteous” father drunk, have sexual intercourse with him, and each conceives and bears a son (wouldn’t you know it!). Neither Lot nor his daughters are criticized here or anywhere else in the Bible. It’s just another wholesome family values Bible story.

    Judges 19:22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him
    19:23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.
    19:24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.
    19:25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.
    19:26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man’s house where her lord was, till it was light.
    19:27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.
    19:28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered. Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place.
    19:29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.

    After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest’s concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they “abuse her all night.” The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes it home. Then he chops the body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel (Parcel Post?). The story, which must be one of the most disgusting stories ever told, ends with: “consider of it, take advice, and speak your mind.” Those who do consider it will immediately reject the idea that the Bible is inspired by God. Hopefully, they then will speak their mind.

    SO people who follow God either do so on the basis they dont know who they are worshipping (not read the bible, been given incorrect education etc…) or they percieve him to be a ‘Spy Camera’ who will catch you when you are doing sin (the police in the sky) – if you were behaving morally to begin with, there would be no need for his omnipotence to catch you when you are performing evil deeds – so belief in God does not dictate good (or bad) behaviour.

    I had an invisible friend when I was 3 – but I grew up, you should do the same

  5. Drew says:

    “…that is Jesus telling you that nothing can feel that gap,”
    That’s why I like the FSM, if I place my order at the stripper factory just right, I’ll be able to “feel that gap”!

  6. Lord Vore says:

    Dear daughterofheaven. Harden up, life is hard, people are mean, humour can be dark, some horror films are based on the truth and crying over words on the internet is pathetic.

    And what’s worse, if you believe in God…The world is as it is exactly because he wants it to be…Which means he also likes to watch you cry. Think what an old guy like God might be doing while getting kicks from watching girls cry.

    Hey I said nothing, you thought it. Good job hell isn’t real or you’d go there for thinking what you just did.

    P.S Christians, I don’t hate you. I’m very tolerant but I hate stupidity and intolerance. So worship quietly and we’ll get along just fine.

    P.P.S Whether or not Pastafarianism is real to you…You have no more right to tell us we’re wrong than we have to say the same to you. That’s the whole point.

  7. Dentrag says:

    Hmm. If i recall, Dante’s Inferno says we don’t spend eternity in hell, only until we atone to our sins, then we go to heaven. Of course, this is just following a book 400 years old, therefore, it MUST be less true than the bible, even though we had a greater scientific and historical wealth of knowledge then.

  8. Garrick McElroy says:

    No one is perfect, true. Me living a sin-filled life, not so much. Most people are pretty good people, yeah everyone lies, so what? I wish we could stop lying, sure, but it’s not like that makes you a terrible person. If you ever wish to know the true meaning of living a happy, fulfilling life, you can e-mail me. I’d appreciate it a lot. I’m sorry the church has convinced you that you aren’t good enough in the eyes of God. Truthfully, I’d bet you were a much better person before you entered the Church. Now, about the Bible being 100% accurate. No, I can’t even bring myself to comment about it. The lies hurt my skin…

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at [email protected]

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