I am not trying to be rude

Published January 4th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I am not trying to be rude but there is one hole in this religion that I need to point out. Pirates. How in the world do pirates have anything to do with global warming? There just people like any of us. Pirates are not different from us in anyway except for the way they act. Which (not to be rude) is totally barbaric. I think that this part of the religion needs to be thought over more to give a better explanation.

[Part 2]:

Ok, really this is the part of this religion that makes no sense. I mean how can pirates have any effects on the quality of the air in our ecosystem? I mean pirates are just humans with worse tempers and better clothes. We all know the reason for Global Warming is the pollutants in the air and increasing green house gases. If people would be more tidy and instead of throwing away there garbage; recycle it. Also with trees. If we could find a alternative way of staying the same as now but using different materials then we would be set in the department. Global Warming is a cause of humans acting stupid and not taking care of mother earth. Pirates; the only good thing about them is the fact that they look cool and plunder.

But either way I think that we need to have this part of this religion re-thought about.

82 Responses to “I am not trying to be rude”

  1. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    Pirates are the holy chosen ones of Pasta himself!
    Speaking of pirates – there is a Veggie Tales movie about “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” They say Veggie Tales is a “Christian” movie – but we all know who it’s appeasing.

  2. Cap'n Ollie says:

    I am shocked and offended that you could insult pirates to such an extent. You can consider my timbers officilly shivered.
    And it’s “they’re” not “there”

  3. Cap'n Ollie says:


  4. mikeb says:

    RAmen Ross,

    Let’s not forget that pirates created workmen’s comp. When a pirate was injured or killed, his family was given money and looked after. Some were bloodthirsty, some were not. Let’s not forget legal pirate also known as privateers, who were pirates sanctioned by their countries.

  5. Zen Tofu Stud Rascal says:

    Hey CAP’N OLLIE,
    Maybe you meant…

  6. Eric says:


  7. Zak Frost says:

    Well, it’s actually pretty simple, here is a graph:
    As you can clearly see, pirates normally appease FSM with sacrifices(usually in the form of looting, razing stealing, blackmarkets and killing in and outside of these activities), but now that the pirates of lore have been almost completely wiped out who is there to sacrifice to FSM? NO ONE. So if we keep looking down on/killing/imprisoning pirates we are surely doomed. The only way to to stop global warming is to become pirates and and do pirate-ish things.
    Praise be to FSM.

  8. Max says:

    If you look at that graph and take it literally, you will mislead yourself. You have to look at it METAPHORICALLY.

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