are you kidding me?

Published December 2nd, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.

139 Responses to “are you kidding me?”

  1. Scott says:

    Okay, so correct me if im wrong but since when has the bible been accurate it uses simple logic that can be peiced together and thust create the FSM. The FSM covers every aspect with a very basic and simple understanding as to why things happen, where as the bible simply states ‘because god said so’ i dont rightfully understand how the bible is accurate.

  2. FSM Forever says:

    If the bible was ever accurate it was when it had never been writen and Mankind hadnt been created by his noodly appandage!

  3. Wench Sophie says:

    Um, of course there are older documents than the Bible! Jewish Scripture! The Epic of Gilgamesh! Ceasar’s writing! Socrates! Plato! Did you sleep through history class! Or did you just not go to school at all! Jeez!

  4. Wench Sophie says:

    Plus, the people who wrote it contradict each other and make typos all the time. Don’t you think that God would protect his Holy Word from spelling errors?

  5. William Truitt says:

    I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs. If this is true, then it is REASONABLE to conclude that the oceans are rising in volume due to the flow of underground water.

    This must be the reason behind the rising waters of the oceanic world! I CAN’T BELIEVE that scientists are not proposing this theory in mass…

    NOTE: Some statement and/or assumptions made in this text are recorded in a seething sarcasm.

  6. Francesc says:

    “I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs”
    yes, surely that could explain the well-known universal flood; someone -let’s say a perfect creator- forgot turning off the tap :-)

  7. Earthbreaker says:

    If the Bible was accurate it would be history, not religion. The Bible is not meant to be accurate about nowadays (apart from revelations, but it’s pretty vague…amazing what you can learn about the bible if you let Jehovah’s witnesses talk to you)it is meant to be historical, nothing really exists from that time to corroborate it. You wonder if Matty, Marky, Lukey and Johnny knew what it was they were writing…and I wonder where the name ‘Bible’ came from…

    Whatever happened to ‘faith’?

  8. Alexander Elijah says:

    So God showed us these “fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs” eh? He must have said, “Hey! Look over here! I think I see some fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, and dinosaurs!”
    You see, that was not your god. That was the FSM.
    And lengthy “accurate” Hindu texts have been around for twice as long as Christian texts.
    Sorry for my polytheism, Great Noodly One, but hail Shiva!

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