Scalzi’s Creation Museum report

Published November 21st, 2007 by Bobby Henderson


Author and blogger John Scalzi has posted an amusing report of his visit to the Creation Museum.

Some time ago he said that he’d visit the museum, which was built near his home, on the condition that his readers donated $250, with the added incentive that any extra money would be given to Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. His readers came through and donated over $5000.

So he went, took a bunch of pictures, and posted a very thorough report.

An excerpt:

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

You can read his entire report here.

331 Responses to “Scalzi’s Creation Museum report”

  1. Pluto says:

    Very nice, will have to see it one day. You know, in the same way you would poke a dead animal with a stick as a kid? Morbid curiosity.
    So when are we going to counter with FSM world?
    None of that “museum” crap! Just a bid fuck of theme park! We can have a giant “octopus” ride in the middle called the Noodalator or something equally OTT.
    The “Beer Volcano” log ride? I’m a little stumped for other ideas as I’ve only just come up with the concept. What would you guys like to see in the way of rides?

  2. Pluto says:

    Oh I got anther one! The Meat Ball! You get those inflatable balls you can roll around inside, then drop it into a tube system with a high air flow! You shoot through the pipe at high speeds bouncing around. Would be a cross between a rollercoaster and free fall.

  3. Wench Nikkiee says:

    @Reasonable Avatar
    Hi Avatar :)
    “Plants, conveniently, were not created in any of the seven days of creation. They are only mentioned in Genesis chapter 2 as being entities that god created but without a specific date given. I put it under day 5 because I wanted to put them with other living things, after the formation of the sun and land that they would feed off of.”
    Well I’m pretty much completely ignorant to the Genesis creation timeline, but I was just reading at the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible yesterday (… or day before :p) a bit about those plants…
    …now I’m even more confused! Think I’ll stick to that evilutionary timeline :p)

  4. Jennyanydots says:

    There’d obviously have to be a pirate ship ride. And how about a huge swimming pool with lots of noodly water slides?

  5. Wench Nikkiee says:

    Mind you I’ve studied Botany (along side molec bio) for a few years, which covered plant evolution from the beginning and I do believe learning the Genesis version would have been so much quicker and easier! I probably could have had a high paying job at AiG by now :p Eeeeuw!!

  6. Pluto says:

    @ Jennyanydots- Genius! We could have a ship in a separate pool with a big fuck off wave machine and call it a storm simulator! That would rule. Better than those galleons that rock back and forth (obviously we would have one of those too). Give the feeling of a real stormy night on the & sea’s, water guns giving realistic spray too.

  7. Noodly0ne says:


  8. Pluto says:

    @Noodly0ne- You’re young, what rides would you like to see?

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