Scalzi’s Creation Museum report

Published November 21st, 2007 by Bobby Henderson


Author and blogger John Scalzi has posted an amusing report of his visit to the Creation Museum.

Some time ago he said that he’d visit the museum, which was built near his home, on the condition that his readers donated $250, with the added incentive that any extra money would be given to Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. His readers came through and donated over $5000.

So he went, took a bunch of pictures, and posted a very thorough report.

An excerpt:

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

You can read his entire report here.

331 Responses to “Scalzi’s Creation Museum report”

  1. rmw says:

    Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Guess which great state the museum is located in? KENTUCKY!!! That’s just awesome. First the rattle-snake handler religion/cult, now this crap-tastic museum of “truth.” Wow, the state sure attracts them doesn’t it? (I’m curious about the museum. Might have to go to Kentucky just to see it. At the very least, I’m sure they have a killer gift shop that sells dinosaurs. I could get one for my nephew.)

  2. Dungeon Keeper says:

    rmw: If you want the BEST dino-stuff, go to Drumheller, Alberta, Canada, home of the Royal Tyrell Museum. It doesn’t makes you swallow loads of creationist BS (or would that be HS) to get your toy T-rex. Hey, I just noticed… Drum-HELL-er. Hmmm. Ah, who cares, it has dinosaurs.

  3. rmw says:

    @Dungeon Keeper–if I ever find my way back to Canada, I will try to go there. As it stands, I can drive an hour to Denver and see a pretty cool display, without having to deal with creationist crap. I just find it absolutely hilarious that Kentucky seems to be a hot-spot for…um…”different” religious beliefs. I do give the museum credit though–you’re chances of dying there seem to be pretty remote (unless of course, you’re not a creationist and you die of derisive laughter).

  4. Reasonable Avatar says:

    I loved the essay. My only complaint was this.
    “It’s a little idiotic to establish as a ‘fact’ that both science and creationism acknowledge, say, that apes exist, but to paper over the difference in the set of ‘facts’ that explain how the apes got here, or to imply that a creationist assertion (apes created on the fifth day) is logically or systematically equivalent to decades of rigorous scientific process in the exploration of evolution.”
    Fifth day? Fifth? Not even the fundies believe that one! To fundies, apes were created on the sixth day, owing to the fact that they are neither birds or fish. (Unless the horsesh*t museum changed that one too! Do fundies think that apes have feathers, scales and/or gills now? Oh no! The poor quality of science education in the United States is worse than I feared!)
    Apes, much like fundies, fall under the “behemoth” category because they dwell on land and aren’t as smart as actual people. (Okay, I kid. The bible never calls fundies subhuman, that’ just me, and I’m joking.) For someone who spent a day in a museum devoted to creationism, I would have expected him to know what day apes were supposedly created on.
    Here’s a guide so that I don’t have to see anyone make that error again:
    1.) Light and Darkness
    2.) Sea and Sky (Both of them were made of water at this time. It may have been only with the sky 2.0 patch that ozone, nitrogen, and oxygen were released from closed beta.)
    3.) Land
    4.) The Sun, Moon, and stars.
    5.) Fish and Birds. (Plants, conveniently, were not created in any of the seven days of creation. They are only mentioned in Genesis chapter 2 as being entities that god created but without a specific date given. I put it under day 5 because I wanted to put them with other living things, after the formation of the sun and land that they would feed off of.
    6.) Behemoths and Humans. (Behemoths usually means large animals or monsters. However, the bible never gives a date for the creation of small animals either. In this case, I guess that large means “at least as big as an atom” and that caterpillars fall under the category of being large monsters… or fish… or birds… or plants.
    7.) The Sabbath

    -Avatar of Reason

  5. Ayumi-chan says:

    Awesome! I so want to go there now, just to laugh at the stupidity of these people. Sadly I can’t read the article now, since I am trapped in the centre of boredom and torture some call school, but it looks good from this post, so I’ll check it out when I get home.

    And NOES!!! I missed out on the medals AGAIN!!!!

  6. Ayumi-chan says:

    And I just tried to look at the other messages and I can’t look at ANY OTHER ARTICLES! Damn filters…

  7. pieces o'nine says:

    The blogger noted a placard with this inscriptoin:
    “Djedkare Isesi, second to last pharaoh of the fifth dynasty, …”
    Clearly, the kid in the photo is a fan of the Bangles’ song, “Ride like an Egyptian”.

  8. Jennyanydots says:

    @ Avatar

    You mean mosquitos and other buzzy things don’t exist?

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