For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?


With deep respect,

172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

  1. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    No offense to West Virginians who don’t ramshank their family members

  2. PacificPam says:

    It is British for Umbrella, Momi Pink Shoes.

  3. Pluto (Not sorry at all!) says:

    @Momi Pink Shoes- “What’s a Brollie?” it’s an umbrella.
    “No offense to West Virginians who don’t ramshank their family members”
    I’m sure the both forgive you.

  4. PacificPam says:

    hahahahaa I love that word…Brollie!

  5. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    That’s is an awesome word!
    Hahaha, Brollie.

  6. PacificPam says:

    I told you it was a fun word.

  7. meichan says:

    C’mon guys!! OK, to be honest you got a couple of snickers out of me, anyone not in ultra-conservative arena is going to laugh at your cause once, maybe twice. That’s it, that’s all ya got. Why not just go, call yourselves Athiests and (I kNOW being PC is so mature, and hence SUCH a drag!) respect others beliefs. You are blatantly looking to raise the hackles of any and maybe all ‘believers.’ Maybe you are all very steadfast in your belief that there is no organizing power, no God nothing to fear or praise, AND THAT’S FINE!! But what you are doing is the equivalent of taking what not one group holds dear, but all spiritual followers, you are calling them daft and then hocking some spit on their prophets, icons, gods, whatever. All in the name of humour? Help me understand this–I am not a religious zealot, I am not even religious, I just think that what you do is nonsense, insensitive and banal. I’m sure that someone will come back with the whole argument of the evils that have arisen from religion, but alas, we all know that that argument is poor. People pick up information from different sources, process it and make conscious decisions. News flash–God didn’t make me do it! He didn’t make the Nazis do it, he certainly didn’t make Mao Tsetung do it but the idea of a god gives comfort to millions, maybe billions of unfortunate people out there who may, but more likely do not, have facebook accounts. With all due respect (which is just a tiny, tiny bit) enough already!

  8. Jennyanydots says:

    Wait a minute, are they unfortunate only because they don’t have Facebook accounts? And rather than being “all in the name of humour”, how about all in the name of rationality, and against unthinking faith and the demonisation (sorry, but can’t think of a more appropriate word offhand) of intellectual curiosity?

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