For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?


With deep respect,

172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

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  1. PacificPam says:

    @Momi Pink Shoes – Nooo, it was excellent you shopped and shagged! 2 great pleasures!
    Ramshank and Ramen!

  2. Pluto (Not sorry at all!) says:

    Ramshank! Blessed be Bo’ Selector

  3. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    I have decided that Ramshank is now the word of my life.

  4. PacificPam says:

    Me too Momi Pink Shoes. It is on the top three: 1. Ramshank 2. Twat 3. Brollies…hahahahahaaha I love Brollies….
    Way too much balls of steel for me…=)
    I don’t like the incest word…I prefer to call them crackers

  5. Pluto (Not sorry at all!) says:

    “I don’t like the incest word…I prefer to call them crackers”
    I like the word Hicks

  6. PacificPam says:


  7. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    @PPam – What’s a Brollie?

  8. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    I call them “West Virginians”

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