For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?


With deep respect,

172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

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  1. Nospoon says:

    There are lots. Millions. How can anyone resist the truth of the pasta?

  2. El Peatieablo says:

    Yeah, all the cool people are doing it (peer pressure is fun). Anyway, thar be a lot of us here piratey followers, some of the deal with the press coverage. FSM be a very public spagadiety and His Word has spread as far as places like Belgium. If ye haven’t already, I recommend picking up a copy of the Gospel and an eye patch (maybe a cutlass, peg leg, hook, and parrot if you have the money).

  3. lilwench says:

    And remember, our faith comes with a thirty-day guarantee. If you are somehow not feeling His Noodley Appendages, Taoism will most probably take you back.

  4. Pixel Pete says:

    We have millions, maybe even thousands of followers!

  5. Peter Popoff says:

    Kinda lame Bobby.
    Don’t ya got something more interesting to put up as mail?

  6. Peter Popoff says:

    Hi Jr.

  7. Maxglobs says:

    Heh, a some of my Asian friends have actually had to pretend to be Buddhists (as opposed to atheists) to avoid hostility from their families.

  8. Assassin Sheepdog says:

    It’s definitely not unknown of. Just look at the guest map and you will see the ideas are very widespread (but mainly in Americas / Europe). There are prob around a million followers actually. The Facebook group for the FSM has 23301 people in it. Pretty much the highest amount any group gets to is 1.5 million people (very few get past that). If you divide 23301 by 1.5 million, then you get around 0.016, or 1.6%. This means 1.6% of people between the ages 13-25 (general age group for facebook users who join groups they support) are Pastafarian. Around 10% of the 300 million Americans are from this age group, so thats is 30 million people. 1.6% of 30 million is 480,000. This means around 1/2 million Americans are Pastafarians. We will assume that Americans make up around 1/2 the Pastafarians, so the best educated guess would be that there are a million Pastafarians in the world today.

    I’m pretty sure that would classify this movement as fairly known of. Plus looking at the news articles on the main page about this stuff, I would say it is.

    (If anybody cares to know, I just did his research right now, because this truly did make the interested so this isn’t anything outdated or whatnot)

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