Pastafarianism vs. Christianity

Published October 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I received this email from Pastafarian Chelsea:

The following is direct quote by Mark Coppenger, a pastor who teaches at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, courtesy of the article by Dan Vergano in USA Today, Spaghetti Monster is noodling around with faith.

“I’m happy to say I think FSM hurts the evolutionists’ program since, by mocking the Christian tradition … it reinforces the correct impression that there is genuine contempt for biblical faith in that camp. Besides, the parody is lame, and there are few things more encouraging than cheap shots from one’s opponents.”

I’m sorry if Christians find the belief that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe “lame,” but –correct me if I’m wrong- Christians believe that a cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple of discernment from a magical tree. And they think the idea that a decrease in pirates caused global warming is ridiculous?

The best lesson learned in life is to challenge the limitations of our mental capacities. If knowledge is a sin, let us burn in hell for eternity with the satisfaction that we aren’t superstitous, ignorant bigots.

I think Chelsea makes a good point. Also, I think that Pastafarianism has grown much larger than a response to the ID-evolution debate.

89 Responses to “Pastafarianism vs. Christianity”

  1. Wench Cyka says:

    Hey Bethany! How many Pagans ever followed you around reading spells to you, trying to “save” you?? I bet you never had anyone literally hanging off your rucksack while reading a book you detest loudly in your ear! Of course, I think that really was an “act of God” when that particular less-than-bipedal woman was then knocked unconscious by a startled deer! Teach her to mess with a nature worshipper! Christians preach tolerance, but Very few practice it, so why shouldn’t I return fire?

  2. jhg says:


  3. 4Christsake (aka Christ4All) says:

    @Bethany – How pitiful that you are celebrating the image of a false God. It is also pitiful that the people who attended the pirate party were unaware of its true purpose.
    The attacking of someone’s faith is a deeply personal thing and leads to hot headed debates and name calling.
    Probably the funniest retort I have heard is “you workship a jewish zombie on a stick.” It does somewhat describe the visual representation. To be correct, Jesus was not animated dead flesh, he was totally resurrected which means his body was alive again.

  4. Dante says:

    Dear Wench Cyka,

    We don’t return fire because then we keep the high ground. If they trash our ideas, and we trash their ideas, then the only people who win are the loudest with the most numbers. It makes it about our side against their side, not about tollerance or who’s right. If we become as bad as the people we’re disagreeing with, then what’s the point? And as for “pagans following you around” you obviously haven’t been to enough circles and have so far only encountered our saner members. But you yourself are getting awefully close to your own description, you’re just doing it on a message board.

    Speaking similarties in all relgions, i’m really really afraid that in 200 years there will be the Reformed FSMers killing the Orthodox FSMers… I mean, think about it, maybe Jesus was starting a Parody religion because he was so fed up with the whole thing. And look what happened there.


  5. ۞ says:

    Dead Zombie Jews On A Stick – get ’em while they’re hot!

  6. Corey says:

    Right, Jewish zombie…..and you worship a dead plant with cow chunks in it, which makes waaayyyy more sense…not. And by the way, zombies are undead, and generally diseased, Jesus in 100% alive.

    • Pete Byrdie says:

      I find it hilarious that some christians come to the site of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster feeling it’s somehow a competition about whose unlikely, invisible, unprovable deity is most likely. Point thoroughly missed!

  7. Alchemist says:

    Jesus in 100% alive.
    I agree! He’s also less than 90 calories when taken in a balanced diet!

  8. Wench Nikkiee says:

    Alchemist Oct 31st, 2007 at 6:25 pm
    “I agree! He’s also less than 90 calories when taken in a balanced diet!”
    Ahh….I see! So that’s what’s meant by phrases such as “Jesus come, or came into me” or “I accepted Jesus into me”? I thought….ummm… never mind!

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