Greetings and Yarr

Published October 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Greetings and Yarr, Mr. Henderson.

I have realized I have been too confused to see the light and have recently decided to reform from my heathen ways as an atheist. I found light in the holy FSM while making a bowl of lime & shrimp ramen at approximately 1:36 AM. I recalled a thread on a forum speaking of FSM and His Noodly Appendage, and it all seemed to make sense.

I have now become a child of FSM and graciously accept His Noodly Appendage and all His glory into my life. However, I have a few questions I couldn’t find in your marvelous, eye-opening site.
1) Is an eye patch or hat required every day or just every friday? It will be hard to explain to my English teacher why I am wearing a divine head-piece every morning.

2) Are we required to wear such clothing in all posed photography? If so I will need a signed letter from the prophet speaking of His holiness and need of such headgear for my school.

3) Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants, rings and brochures around my school to spread the good word? I recently discovered that a fairly accurate model of His Noodlyness can be made out of 22 gauge wire and 4 beads (2 copper, 2 silver), and it gives me something to keep with me whenever I have moments of doubt or weakness.

Thank you, and may His Noodly Appendages be with you.

FSM bless,
Myranda (Yarrr)

24 Responses to “Greetings and Yarr”

  1. Wench Cyka says:

    Or so I am told…. yeah….

  2. Wench Nikkiee says:

    Hi and a big warm welcome :)
    “Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants, rings and brochures around my school to spread the good word?”
    I know the answer to that is “NO”…go for it :))

  3. Red Dutchpasta Wench says:

    I want some too :))

  4. Wench.Nikkiee says:

    @Wench Nikkiee Oct 15th, 2007 at 1:49 am

    “Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants”
    Oh bugger Myranda
    …I read that as “do I need your permission” …oops. :))

  5. ihatemyspace says:

    Maybe you could do a write-up of how it all goes?

  6. Booty says:

    Good luck Myranda :)
    At the very least bear in mind that you will be out of school and in the real world soon – so keep your chin up :)

  7. Christ4All says:

    @Myranda – There should be a separation of church and state. You should not wear religious clothing to school. I am in favor of school uniforms.

  8. El Peatieablo says:

    1: Why do you assume Myranda goes to a state school?
    2: I know you’re trying to fight Atheists who use the whole “separation of church and state” argument by using it against them. There is a bit of a flaw in that though. Most of the arguments that I know of are from the US (though I’ll bet the relevant points are very similar elsewhere), so I’ll use that legal structure. The Constitution says that (well, according to Wikipedia; my old Civics book says the same stuff, I just can’t quote it) “”Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion….” Together with the Free Exercise Clause, (“…or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”)”. Congress funds schools, so it would be illegal for them to say, include “under god” in the Pledge of Allegiance, have prayer in school, advertise church groups in school, or (breaking with the school theme) put “In god we trust” on all of our money. It is also illegal for them to stop somebody from exercising their religion (provided that their activity is within other boundaries, such as not trespassing onto someone else’s private property in an effort to convert them).
    3: If wearing somebody’s religious clothing is so bad, what should the kid whose religion requires him to wear pants do? Should he run around with his… well, I’ll just leave that you your imagination.
    4: Are school uniforms are a horrible idea? Do they violate students’ ability to express themselves (I could get over that, but this is just the beginning)? What about the kid (like me) who was always really hot in class, even with shorts and a short sleeve shirt on? What about kids (like my sister) who were always freezing with jeans and a hooded sweatshirt on? What about the kids in between who have classes on both first and third floor (third floor being about 15^o F hotter than first)? What if somebody is allergic to the material? What if a family is financially unable to purchase a school uniform? Should the schools (already in a financial crisis, at least where I live) take on the enormous burden of clothing the entire student body, pun intended? Does anybody else love the picture/article in uncyclopedia’s entry on the Socratic Method?

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