official missionary transportation

Published March 17th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Do you guys like this boat?


(you can’t really tell, but I crossed out the name of the boat, and wrote “church of the fsm”)

(note – in picture 2, there used to be a lady standing on the deck, but I photoshopped her out. You can still sort of see her legs if you look closely)

It’s not a pirate boat. But here’s the thing: it’s also not $2 million. This one’s a Tayana 37. The one pictured isn’t for sale, but they run about $100k, which we could probably handle *right now*.

The official FSM church missionary pirate boat IS going to happen, it’s just a matter of to what degree you want. I want to get everyone’s opinion on this. Wait until we can afford a “real” pirate ship, or get something smaller and start now? The Church makes nowhere near the amount of cash to get a millions-of-dollars boat anytime soon, if ever. The funds now are all coming from the t-shirts, car emblems, and book sales, and they’ve about leveled off. However, we do have a licensing arrangement, and there are some tv interests. That could mean some more cash for the pirate-boat-fund.

And there’s the option of fund-raising, but I’m guessing that people would be apprehensive paying into a fund like this (I would be). And are there that many seriously interested people who would pay $1k or more for a share of a pirate boat? I sort of wonder.

Maybe we could purchase a working boat, like a Baltic Trader (it’s sort of piratey), one of those ships that moves cargo from island to island in the tropics.

(baltic trader)

A trading ship would make enough money to keep it going (boats are crazy-expensive to upkeep). By the way, a Baltic Traders can easily go for a million dollars or more.
As for the actual missionary work we’ll be doing, I think it will take place somewhere tropical. Other than that, maybe we’ll just cruise around and wait for inspiration, like Jesus did.

And, as I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers, if we get a smaller boat we’ll have to figure out how to arrange the crewing,etc. And also I heard that it’s somewhat complicated to sail and maneuver around islands and other boats and things, so we’ll have to figure out a way to keep from sinking. Like a rule that at least a couple people onboard at anytime know what they’re doing.

Please discuss, I want to hear everyone’s opinions on this.

284 Responses to “official missionary transportation”

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  1. Alchemist says:

    Afternoon Glorys? Is that when they wilt a bit :P

  2. Peter Popoff says:

    Wait! I remembered!
    They is Glory Holes!

  3. Red Dutch Pasta Wench says:

    Aug 11th, 2007 at 9:31 am
    “If I am right, then will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites.” – Isaac Asimov

    Great guy :P

  4. Mike Rayne says:

    I’ll talk to my friend, Meathook. He is a sailor, and he’s friends with Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate!

  5. NewAtheist says:

    Red Dutch Pasta Wench
    I agree.

  6. angryyoungatheist says:

    @ Alchemist
    the HMAS Diamantina ia an ex Australian battleship. as far as i know they want to sink it in the next couple of years. could be worth looking in to.

  7. NewAtheist says:

    Just out of curiosity, are there any atheists living in the bible belt?

  8. Alchemist says:

    “the HMAS Diamantina ia an ex Australian battleship. as far as i know they want to sink it in the next couple of years. could be worth looking in to.”
    Sounds pretty good! Being ex Aussie it’ll have a few breweries on board :P

    We need some Plutonium though!

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