fsm haikus

Published January 19th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I was bored at work today(the mortgage industry is slow) and wrote some haiku. I hope you like them.

Praise be unto You
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Creator of all

Stripper factories
And beer volcanoes await
In the afterlife


*UPDATE – 1/19/2007 * 

Here are some more Haikus, found in the comments section. Very nice.

Yes I have been touched
By His Noodley Appendage
It was a Good Touch

Flying Spaghetti
Monster is the way of Life
Praised be He! RAmen.

Midget, moutains, trees,
His Noodley Appendage
Has made all to be.

Pirates the Chosen
Dictating the global temp
Wear your Regalia

With His noodley
Appendage I have been touched
But not like that priest

To be a Pirate
and save the hole earth from DOOM

Our Noodly master
Created the seven seas
For use by pirates

All hail His noodles
His meatball’s flavor sacred
And his sauce divine

Priests Molest Children
But the Spaghetti Monster
Loves Us Properly

Noodles in the Sky
Pirate fantasies fulfilled
Now cool down, hot world!

The Pasta Monster
He grasps my with his noodles
Crap, I got scurvy


The creator who holds us dear
did not look as what we hear.
he was not a man, or human at all
he was made of spaghetti and two meat balls.
he made us all
originally short
and it wasn’t even his last resort
Pirates are his people,
holy are they
who end every sentence with “Arrgh” as they pray.
Some might not believe,
but it is a fact,
our God was pasta
no, this isn’t an act
So lets all give
a hip hip horray
the FSM is here to stay

83 Responses to “fsm haikus”

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  1. daqq says:

    Nice praise for the lord…

  2. Homo narrans says:

    i envy you. i was never much good at haiku

  3. Peter Popoff says:

    Good show?

  4. Storm Petrel says:

    Do we have a section for when people get all creative? If not, we should

  5. OFT says:

    Totally off topic, but I found this while cleaning out my emails:

    Dynamic Deity Management Ltd.
    Author Unknown
    Date :- 3rd May 0023
    Messrs Matthew, Mark, Luke & John (Publishers).
    13a Sandy Wasteland Square,
    Just Next to the Pizza Hut,

    Dear Sirs,
    It is Mr. Christ’s understanding that you are planning to write and publish a biography of him in the near future. Such a biography would, he is sure you would realise, be entirely unauthorised and if it were published in the form you suggest he would be forced to take the matter up with the highest authority.
    However he can fully understand your wish to write about his life and will sanction such a project a number of conditions:
    That the title of the book be ‘The Holy Bible’ and not as you propose, ‘Hot and Salty – Our Sexy Savior’s Saucy Story’.
    That you do not mention the name of his natural Father (Elvin Roxenby-Toke) who, for legal reasons, contests paternity. He suggest you utilise the ‘virgin birth’ scenario. Mr. Christ realises that this is entirely ludicrous but suggests that no-one ever went bust underestimating the credibility of the average religious zealot.
    That all references to the incident involving the members of members of the Bethlehem Boys Club, olive oil and a wooden spoon to be exised forthwith.
    That the death scene to be ‘pepped up’ as it were. The actual circumstances that you mention are simply not dramatic enough. An accident with a wine jar and a stray fish just does not have the theatrical impact of say, a crucifixion with the full atmospheric effects of a large cast.
    That the book not to be dedicated, as it is at the moment, to ‘My dearest Wooly-Boo with all my love squiggles.’
    That a fictional character, possibly a twelfth disciple, be introduced to give him away to the authorities. The reality of the case, that he was shopped by his Mother and done for indecent exposure, should on no account be discussed.
    And the so called ‘Parable of the Leather Undergarment’ be removed or at least modified.
    As long as these guidelines are followed he can see no reason why you should not write and publish your proposed biography although he doesn’t see it as a success himself. He informs me that he enjoyed your previous books, especially ‘Murderburger Hell-High’ and ‘Slutslaughter – Slashin’ the Winded’. Your suggested biography of him appears to be in the same vein and it is for this reason that he must reject your offer of a profit sharing scheme in return for his appearing to promote the book.
    In any case Mr. Christ is at the moment fully occupied with his promotion for ‘Shake ‘n’ Vac’.
    Yours sincerely.
    Adam G Smith.
    pp Jesus H Christ

  6. Arthur says:

    I tried this on another entry with little succes, so I’ll try here while the haiku is still fresh… can someone hook me up with a way to contact Mr. Henderson, be it an email address, forum he frequents regularly, etc. Me and some friends of mine would greatly appreciate his help in an experiment/project we’re doing.

    Plus I’d just really like to actually talk with His Noodly Goodness’s greatest prophet/pirate. I mentioned before I’m not too familiar with the site, but I do my best to spread the word through the Gospel.

    Anyway, if someone can help me out, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.


  7. Peter Popoff says:

    Here Arthur.
    Is the email: [email protected]
    Good luck

  8. Third Eye Patch says:

    Yes I have been touched
    By His Noodley Appendage
    It was a Good Touch

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