Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

Published December 5th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

The satirical news magazine The Onion has a new article out on the Kansas Intelligent Design / Evolution issue:  Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution.

In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.


Link to article.

133 Responses to “Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution”

  1. jesus christ says:


  2. jesus christ says:

    note: what i meant by the fact that it would still be around is the fact it probably would leave behind some remains. besides, as carl sagan said, ‘extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence’. the ark is one of them. where is the evidence outside the bible that a biblical flood even happened. answer, none. and they say there’s no evidence for evolution. wtf.
    about the quote, i believe it was carl sagan. if it was somebody else, somebody let me know. also, i believe the way i worded it seems correct. any corrections to that claim, be sure to tell. JUST DON’T MAKE IT UP

  3. Cap'n Jeni says:

    You guys don’t even know. I actually live in Kansas.
    Now, I will say that not everyone here is sauceless (just most people). Lawrence (my town) is a liberal college town where most people would prefer if God just stayed out of the science classrooms. Actually a lot of people you meet here would prefer that God just stay out of the equation completely. Most people I know are atheist/agnostic/deist. We call it “the Midwest Oasis.” Its the rest of Kansas that frightens me.
    *Sigh* I remember the days when we Kansans could look down on certain Southern states with contempt. Now, we’re the home of ID and Fred Phelps.

  4. No one in particular says:

    AAAAHHH Kansans are stupid. Except for Pastafarian Kansites. I support His Noodly creation AND Evolution equally. I bsupport both.

  5. Avatar of Reason says:

    The Onion’s spoof articles are extremely funny, but it is quite often the case that a joke is funny because it has an element of truth. Thus, while I might get a good chuckle from this, I find that it also makes me a little angry, so I feel obligated to comment.

    There was a religious man interviewed on The Colbert Report, I forget who, who was a firm believer in evolution. When asked why, he replied that there were dinosaur bones in the ground. He said that if God created the universe and evolution weren’t a real phenomenon, the only logical conclusion would be that God was lying to humanity. He said that if a person is religious he or she must believe in evolution or admit that their God is a liar.

    Of course, those who don’t believe in religion must accept the evidence provided by logic and reason. Observable evidence points to evolution. Unless we are all being actively deceived by Descartes malignant demon (or something similar) and are being made to see things that aren’t real, one must conclude that evolution is the best theory yet thought up, for the religious, the agnostics, and the atheists alike.

    Why doesn’t Kansas see this reasoning?

    -Avatar of Reason

  6. Worshipper says:

    The real question is: how did Dorothy and Toto make it alive from Kansas to Oz when their house was in the middle of a fierce tornado? Answer: the Flying Spaghetti Monster reached down with his Noodly Appendage and lifted them to safety.

    “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”
    “I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

  7. Comatose says:

    I’m speechless on this one, I didn’t think people could get any more stupid, but hey everyone makes mistakes… -_-;

  8. PIxel Pete says:

    This constitues a “WTF”. Here it comes!!!
    WTF?!? >:|. And i thought they were stupid before☺
    Don’t forget that Pixel Pete is AWESOME!!!

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