FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,

550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

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  1. Peter Popoff says:

    Work tomorrow?

  2. Teh Pirate Fish says:

    If “Teh” refers to me, I’m not a fanatic, I’m just annoyed at the moronic masses. They have a bunch of Christain practices in most schools (“under God” in the pledge, time set aside for prayer every day, my debate teacher gave me an F- becuase I chose a “ID not in schools topic” and he decided that by saying Buddhist/Greek/Norse/etc. should therefor also be taught in schools I was insulting his über-fanatic-Christian beliefs and told me God was going to send me to hell unless i repent.) This seems like a good way to make a point. I’m already ordering a FSM shirt and magnet to add to my collection of Darwin Fish. Someday this will be a better known religon, and it will be great to be a part of.

    Wow, I DO sound fanatical !

  3. Peter Popoff says:

    Na, Teh. We just bust on each other here, it’s all in fun.
    And congrats on the F! I wish I’d had the FSM in my school days, Sister Mary, loved me well enough as it was!
    Again, welcome to the CoFSM. Please do become a regular here! Power in numbers and all that!

  4. Wench Nikky says:

    @Teh Pirate Fish
    Sounds OK Teh. Not a bad religion to be fanatical about and fanatics give us more cred as a real religion. Can’t have a religion without some fanatics. It is just not the done thing. :)

  5. Teh Pirate Fish says:

    Nothing wrong with a little jesting between religous protesters/fanatics, eh?

  6. Teh Pirate Fish says:

    The main thing that pisses me off about the F is the fact that I spent FOREVER writing it. A freind of mine did a similar speech that went into more detail about the religons, and he put on a pirate hat and eyepatch for the Pastafarian part. :)

  7. Peter Popoff says:

    ‘he put on a pirate hat and eyepatch for the Pastafarian part. :)’

    Thats the trick! Right there!

  8. Teh Pirate Fish says:

    That it is. I wonder if I got arrested, would they make me swear opon the Gospel? That would make more sense than the Bible (another religous practice that makes me mad)

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