FSM is a horrible idea

Published December 4th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

I have noticed that you have started this thing called Pastafarianism.  I
would like to start off the first of a long list of complaints, by simply
stating that that pun is horrible. It’s not even creative.  Way to be
original… not.  Second of all… you guys claim that Pirates are your
followers, and that nobody has ever killed anybody in the name of the FSM.
While… looking back on History I happen to find that the history of
Pirates is filled full of rape, murder, and pillaging.  This is probably the
point where you say “that’s what they want you to think” but this is also
the point where I point out that no noodly meat sac in the sky ever rewrote
history to say that Blackbeard was a cheery fellow who spread joy to others.
To think that some noodle thing in the sky rewrote history is just pure
ludacris.  Also, why is it a Spaghetti monster?  Don’t you find that a
little biased towards Italians.  I don’t appreciate your bias.  If you are
going to continue with your charade, please choose a God that represents
more people than just a minority of people in Europe.  Your idea for
intelligent design isn’t very well thought through.  I respect your idea to
mock the Kansas school board, but what I don’t respect is that you dragged
other people into this farce by stating you actually believe this nonsense.
Look at it, really look at it, and think to yourself if you really want
people to back these wildly imaginative ideas of yours.  If you think you
should… then it’s probably time you stop and consult your local therapist.
I’m not a Christian either, in fact I’m Aetheist.  My way of thinking is
that if there really was a God… why would he be so dumb as to make people
who actually believe a giant flying noodle made the earth?  In the long run,
I would appreciate it if you proclaimed this whole thing to be a farce so
that your horribly nerdy followers could get over themselves and go back to
having what little lives they had in the first place.  If you choose however
to keep up this ploy, I would have to ask that you make your God less biased
towards Pirates and Italians.

Thank You,

550 Responses to “FSM is a horrible idea”

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  1. Jon E says:

    I take it someone hasn’t actually looked at the website before having a go. He’s a bit late to be ‘the first of a long list of complaints’. I suppose this does prove that you can find stupid athiests as well.

    Get a life mate. It’s a parody!

  2. SpaghettiSawUs says:

    I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at this one.
    Maybe “Hate Mail” is a misnomer. Perhaps the section should be called “People who completely miss the point”.
    Just shows: being atheist doesn’t make you brainy. He probably thinks Alanis Morrisette’s ‘Ironic’ actually contains tales of irony (which, ironically, it doesn’t).
    “TheLaughingMan” (without a sense of humour… now that IS ironic!)
    Second thoughts, you sure this guy’s for real… shome mishtake shurely….

  3. Jon E says:

    Well I could write something like that if I could be bothered, just to set the cat among the pigeons, but I wouldn’t. If I was going to do a hatemail it’d be one of the stupid fundi ones. But yes it could be someone just taking the proverbial.

  4. Rodger the cabin boy says:

    ‘go back to having what little lives they had in the first place.’
    Could this be a reference to midgets, and what does this guy have against Italians?

  5. erik says:

    Remember, the FSM created noodles in his image, not the other way around. When you think about it, it’s perfectly logical, right? I mean, everyone likes noodles! And to say this is biased against italians… Clearly you don’t know anything about Italian culture. Their noodles are all fancy and spiced up, usually filled with exotic meats and vegetables. American spaghetti is just a buncha strings dipped in high-sugar sauce, which is pretty much what the FSM is made of. (No offence, noodly lord, everyone still loves it). If anything this site is biased against Americans, which doesn’t matter at all, considering… the Americans are slowly destroying the world and deserve a little mocking.

  6. Orion says:

    The nation that gets a big 1st place blue ribbon for idiocy, goes to the US. Not only are they fat, they’re stupid as well, due to their presidents brainy idea of cutting spending on education. It’s like breeding ground for idiots. Ignorance truly is bliss. Go my brothers and sisters in his noodly devine presence. RAmen.

  7. Rodger the cabin boy says:

    Well what is the point in funding education it teaches people stupid false ideas such as evolution, which is clearly crap because then we would be related to monkeys i mean just look at the pres no resemblance to a monkey there, much better spending the money on killing all the evil towell heads terrorists.

  8. JIM says:

    There is actually another religion with a bit of an Italian bias. Not as well known as FSMism of course but some of you may have heard of it. Most famous for its dodgy kiddie fiddling preachers (Priests I think they call them?)

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