were you smoking crack

Published November 6th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Spaghetti Monster Church,

Were you smoking crack when u started this club? im not a fucking christan, this realigon just sucks. i will EAT the Sapaghetti Monster, go get a life u stupid nerds, dont u have any women to bang?

Your higher stanced enemy,

-somebody you dont want to mess with



150 Responses to “were you smoking crack”

  1. Peter Popoff says:

    God is my anti-science Jan 6th, 2007 at 11:50 pm

    Hey guys, should we beat religion with a crowbar, or just a baseball bat?
    Actually we’ve been fairly successful at beating religion, with common sense.
    No brutality involved .

  2. Wench Nikky says:

    RAmen Peter RAmen

  3. Jingles says:

    @ Pigboy Henderson…
    “But hey, you gotta love it when some 14yo twot thinks that an inarticulate, abusive and pointless tirade is actually going to change the minds of the converted.”
    I rather doubt that this particular juvenile believes he could change our existing views with that rant. I think it’s more about just letting off the rather large amount of mental stress that builds up from being a social outcast.
    It cannot be easy to be the loser and the loner, so he takes his rage out on something he knows cannot respond (he didn’t come back, and we don’t have his email).
    Oh, and if you read some of the older threads, you can quickly learn there is no inappropriate ways to deal with noodles in this church. It’s really just a case of what floats your boat, ship or galleon.

  4. Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA says:

    Of course you can eat the FSM.
    Have you never heard of transubstantiation.
    When you eat spaghetti and meatballs (or I believe also spaghetti bolognese as appears to be more common in the European chapters of the CoFSM) in a appropriate act of reverance to his noodliness it transforms in your stomach in to the actual phsyical noodles and sauce of the FSM himself.

    In that act you become one with your creator and are literally touched on the inside by his noodly appendage [and not some distasteful way so stop sniggering at the back].

    We believe that the FSM has provided us with this miracle so that we may commune with him and have a cost-effective and hearty meal at the same time.

    How and even if you perform your act of worship is entirely optional as is whether or not you choose to believe in the transubstatiation of the FSM.
    Remember the CoFSM is against outright against all dogma.

    Sticking your fingers down your throat or worse in order to see the transubstantiated noodles doesn’t work because that would be icky and we wouldn’t want that would we.


  5. Flowinginertia says:

    “REALigon”, eh? Oh, and nice photoshop work, did mommy help you? Looks like it took all night from the quality.

  6. Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA says:

    I thought we did the sucking not the FSM.
    Slurp! Gobble, Mmmmmm.

  7. RAMEN RAY says:

    Usually, I would think that HE wouldn’t being sucking spaghetti (Or any pasta for that matter) because that’s considered cannibilism and is in fact frowned upon by most civilized people, and I very much doubt that his noodliness would stoop to that level.

  8. Peter Popoff says:

    Ah, heck.
    The christians have been eating jesus flesh, for quite awhile now.
    And look at them, they all turned out fine.

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