Great gonads of BROWN magic

Published August 31st, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

What is with this gimmick and putting a spaghetti monster on a Christmas tree? That is what spouted me off. Oh yes, people put their pets on as decorations now and now, a spaghetti monster for a tree topper? Say what? What is with the emails? What? You can’t read?

I am mad. That is why statues of Mary weep. You don’t know me from Adam, but where I come from the spaghetti monster on top of a tree is just WRONG. Anyhow, I pray for miracles like the Drew St. miracle.


29 Responses to “Great gonads of BROWN magic”

  1. Biscuit says:

    I though it was just a headache but after reading this one my head has exploded.

    I beleive one must actually make an effort at being so irrational, this can not be an accident but rather proof that children should not eat lead paint chips.

  2. Trawler the Parrot says:

    Can anyone say heavy metal poisoning?

  3. puffaliaz says:

    Wow. /now/ I remember why i gave up all songs with lyrics…

  4. Jenna says:

    ho ho ho?

  5. Noodly...? says:

    One thing about this…Christmas trees have nothing to do with Christianity. If memory serves me right, they were appropriated by the…Dutch? (please set me right bout that, i have no idea) from a pagan religion. Anyway, they are only a symbol of the commercialised Christmas, not the religious one.


  6. someone says:

    this is probably the worst comment i have ever laid eyes upon
    i read it and my head exploded halfway through, and then i had to jam a spoon up my ass to stop the email from singing a song that doesnt exist

  7. Valkyrie says:

    “By the way, Mr. Christian, on behalf of all the pagans out there, we want our Yule trees out of your homes. And for goodness sake, quit celebrating Samhain (Halloween) and Eostre (Easter) for the candy.”

    Agreed! You must head the one about Holloween that the x-tians made up last year… I don’t have the pamplet anymore, but it was pretty funny and strained. Lamest story I ever heard:

    [sarcasim: on]
    As a brief summary of it goes, long time ago Holloween got its name from the day before it being All Saint’s Day. As the day before it (oct 31) was an “eve” of this “Hollow” or “Holy” day, it was called Hollowed Eve… but of course as we all know, “eve” is interchangable with “ween”. So there is how “holloween” got its name. Now for the rest of the explaination (Paul Harvey would call the next paragraph “The rest of the story”).

    People “who loved Jesus” would go and follow a tradition that dictated that they should light candles in their windows and give food to the poor and homeless who would knock at their doors. Children excited to see the beggars would stay up and peek out the windows to watch the scavengers as their parents handed out food. Now, some of these poor people didn’t “love Jesus” so they would make scary faces at the children and wear scary clothing and make up. It wasn’t very nice to scare the children “who love jesus”.

    Nowadays People “who love Jesus” are supposed to give out candy to the scary non-believers in good faith and love to prove they are not afraid of Satan.
    [sarcasim: off]

    Quit stealing our holidays and make up your own or at least celebrate it for the original reason! I talked like a pirate all day (except in this post, yarr) for the FSM, not for my pagan religion.

  8. Père des Pâtes says:

    And have y’all noticed that Catholicism is Roman Mythology draped in Christian covering? Why else do we pray to the saints and constantly canonize people, just in case we get tired of praying to the other 1,000 or so saints…because they’re lesser “gods” and have to intercede with the Big Bad Scary Vengeance God.

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