Hello. I am Graham Holiman,

Published October 12th, 2005 by Bobby Henderson

Hello. I am Graham Holiman, a member of the religious right who is not offended by your site at all. In fact, I find it quite entertaining.

But you’re still dead wrong.

To start with, you have cleverly implied an argument without ever saying it outloud. This is a very effective strategy, because no one can really disagree with your argument if it hasn’t been said yet. But I am going to say it outloud here, so I can point out what’s wrong with it.

Your logic simplifies down to 3 points.

Given 1–There is about as much scientific evidence that mankind was created by a Spaghetti Monster as that mankind was created by the Christian God. I’ll agree with you here.

Given 2–Everyone can see it’s rediculous to believe mankind was actually created by Spaghetti. I’ll agree with you here too.

Conclusion–Therefore, everyone should be able to see it’s just as rediculous to believe mankind was created by the Christian God. Wrong.

You forgot to look at why no one believes mankind was created by Spaghetti. It’s not for lack of scientific evidence, it’s for lack of theological evidence. Mankind has amassed a great amount of theological writings and thoughts, which point to several different creator gods. Which ones are most credible isn’t an issue at the moment. But none of them point to Spaghetti as creator, so of course no one is truly going to believe they were created by Spaghetti (however much they might pretend at political rallies).

So then, why should the scientific evidence for ID be any more compelling than the scientific evidence for FSM? The answer is…its not! Rather, the scientific evidence for ID doesn’t point to any specific creator, but just to a creator in general. So FSM could use exactly the same physical evidence as ID does with no problems. The fact that it will still be unbelievable is due to theology, not science.

(I haven’t addressed what exactly the evidence actually says, because thats a different topic entirely. I couldn’t fit a good look at it into this Email without losing your attention real fast. This Email is specifically designed to cover the FSM argument, not any scientific arguments.) Directly or indirectly your humor is directed against The Creator and Sustainer of life! This might not be reality to you now, but stay as you are and you will someday stand before Him and feel the awesome weight of your actions. Whether conscious of this fact, or simply creating this website for harmless, humoristic fun, you are influencing lives to treat heartfelt eternal matters as worthless and lighthearted.

Better yet, ask Jesus to help you to see the Reality of His death and His payment on the cross for your faithlessness, so that you may pass from death to life by receiving His grace (unmerited favor). The bible teaches that you are already dead, in your transgressions and sins and physically existing only by His grace and authority. When your time expires and He withholds your breath, the state of your soul at that time will determine whether you join Him or go to a godless eternity. This is spiritual reality and a wise, prudent person would be respectful enough to leave it alone. Stay as you are and these words will become part of your eternal memory.

These words are said in love. We will be praying for you. To us, your website is a plea to pray for you. You place yourself in a spiritually dangerous place when mocking the things of God, even when done in meaningless humor. The bible says, ‘It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God’. To Christians He is a Father and The Lord of Love. To heathens, all those who do not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of their lives, He will be the Righteous Judge who will in the day of judgment reveal their worthless years spent on earth. The scripture also says that it would have been better for that person to have never been born because the sad fact is that they will spend time and eternity absent from the presence of such a loving God.

Hell was created originally for rebellious angels. Humans who wind up there do so because of their choices made in life. Pride alone caused Satan to be cast out of his heavenly highly exalted position. When pride entered into his heart he believed he could usurp God’s authority. This same pride of life and willful disobedience causes many a soul to join eternally with the master of deception. This is the just reward for those who lack faith and spurn the gift God gave to us, freely. The gift of His Son, Jesus who is the only one who can change the destiny of every man’s soul.


57 Responses to “Hello. I am Graham Holiman,”

  1. Peter Popoff says:

    one gu8y who thinks,

    Hi, one gu8y who thinks.
    You’re alive, Mmmmkayyy.
    You can go to sleep now….

  2. Graham Holiman says:

    So I was searching for my name online and I hit this result…and look! Its 90% of my E-mail to Venganza, attached seamlessly to someone else’s mail to Venganza, with no break in between! They even signed their letter at the end “Phillip”, which no one seemed to notice.

    So yeah, this is 2 different letters, not one. I wrote everything up to the parenthesis that starts “I havent addressed what the evidence says”. The end of that parenthesis was the end of my original letter. Everyone who complained about something after that may feel free to complain to Phillip.

  3. El Peatieablo says:

    I didn’t waste my time reading your entire post, but your third point is bogus. This sight does not exist (aside from the fact that His Noodly Appendage moved Bobby to create it) to say that christianity is wrong, but that it should not be taught as science by a school supported by the US Congress. Read the Open Letter.

  4. Flying Scotsman says:

    “scientific evidence for ID”
    Dear Graham,
    Scientific Evidence for ID DOES NOT EXIST.

  5. Pluto says:

    Yes it dose ID made all the doom games

  6. ikki says:

    Has anyone noticed that our human DNA-Helix looks like to spaghetti wrapped around eachother (or a so called spirelli-noodle? Coincidence? Maybe. But it makes you think.



    and then again the resemblance to the dreadlocks


    worn by rastafarians.


    another coincidence? I think not.

  7. A Concerned Pastafarian says:

    While I enjoyed reading this comment, I must point out a major flaw in his argument. all of the theological writings in Christianity- and Judaism, and Islam, and every other religion with a clearly defined dogma- were all based on the primary text at the center of the religion, the Bible.

  8. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    Graham: Thank you for the well-written and compassionate post. However, as the Flying Scotsman pointed out, the hole in your logic is there is NO – NONE – ZERO scientific evidence for Intelligent Design. Rather, there is bountiful evidence against it. Natural selection and mutations have been observed; DNA evidence, over a century after Darwin, independently supports evolution. Millions of fossils show changes in just about every species, including man. Or were Neanderthals god’s mistakes??

    Now, if a god created man in his own image, what was he doing playing around with dinosaurs for tens of millions of years? Why not cut to the chase? Hell, why create man in the first place? To punish the majority who were born before religion was created or never heard of the “one true religion” (whatever THAT is) or were brainwashed/persecuted into belonging to the locally predominant faith?

    “Heathen” made an interesting point – that Adam and Eve’s original sin was the attempt to acquire knowledge. This has always been a tenent of Christianity and Islam. Quashing knowledge is what caused the Middle Ages in Europe, and the Taliban for instance wouldn’t seem to be promoters of man’s advancement. Don’t even THINK about what the church powers are telling you. Just keep sending those dollars in. That’s what adherence to a faith is really all about. Prayers can’t help god, if he’s already omnipotent. It’s the franchise that needs your devotion.

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