Hello. I am Graham Holiman,

Published October 12th, 2005 by Bobby Henderson

Hello. I am Graham Holiman, a member of the religious right who is not offended by your site at all. In fact, I find it quite entertaining.

But you’re still dead wrong.

To start with, you have cleverly implied an argument without ever saying it outloud. This is a very effective strategy, because no one can really disagree with your argument if it hasn’t been said yet. But I am going to say it outloud here, so I can point out what’s wrong with it.

Your logic simplifies down to 3 points.

Given 1–There is about as much scientific evidence that mankind was created by a Spaghetti Monster as that mankind was created by the Christian God. I’ll agree with you here.

Given 2–Everyone can see it’s rediculous to believe mankind was actually created by Spaghetti. I’ll agree with you here too.

Conclusion–Therefore, everyone should be able to see it’s just as rediculous to believe mankind was created by the Christian God. Wrong.

You forgot to look at why no one believes mankind was created by Spaghetti. It’s not for lack of scientific evidence, it’s for lack of theological evidence. Mankind has amassed a great amount of theological writings and thoughts, which point to several different creator gods. Which ones are most credible isn’t an issue at the moment. But none of them point to Spaghetti as creator, so of course no one is truly going to believe they were created by Spaghetti (however much they might pretend at political rallies).

So then, why should the scientific evidence for ID be any more compelling than the scientific evidence for FSM? The answer is…its not! Rather, the scientific evidence for ID doesn’t point to any specific creator, but just to a creator in general. So FSM could use exactly the same physical evidence as ID does with no problems. The fact that it will still be unbelievable is due to theology, not science.

(I haven’t addressed what exactly the evidence actually says, because thats a different topic entirely. I couldn’t fit a good look at it into this Email without losing your attention real fast. This Email is specifically designed to cover the FSM argument, not any scientific arguments.) Directly or indirectly your humor is directed against The Creator and Sustainer of life! This might not be reality to you now, but stay as you are and you will someday stand before Him and feel the awesome weight of your actions. Whether conscious of this fact, or simply creating this website for harmless, humoristic fun, you are influencing lives to treat heartfelt eternal matters as worthless and lighthearted.

Better yet, ask Jesus to help you to see the Reality of His death and His payment on the cross for your faithlessness, so that you may pass from death to life by receiving His grace (unmerited favor). The bible teaches that you are already dead, in your transgressions and sins and physically existing only by His grace and authority. When your time expires and He withholds your breath, the state of your soul at that time will determine whether you join Him or go to a godless eternity. This is spiritual reality and a wise, prudent person would be respectful enough to leave it alone. Stay as you are and these words will become part of your eternal memory.

These words are said in love. We will be praying for you. To us, your website is a plea to pray for you. You place yourself in a spiritually dangerous place when mocking the things of God, even when done in meaningless humor. The bible says, ‘It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God’. To Christians He is a Father and The Lord of Love. To heathens, all those who do not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of their lives, He will be the Righteous Judge who will in the day of judgment reveal their worthless years spent on earth. The scripture also says that it would have been better for that person to have never been born because the sad fact is that they will spend time and eternity absent from the presence of such a loving God.

Hell was created originally for rebellious angels. Humans who wind up there do so because of their choices made in life. Pride alone caused Satan to be cast out of his heavenly highly exalted position. When pride entered into his heart he believed he could usurp God’s authority. This same pride of life and willful disobedience causes many a soul to join eternally with the master of deception. This is the just reward for those who lack faith and spurn the gift God gave to us, freely. The gift of His Son, Jesus who is the only one who can change the destiny of every man’s soul.


57 Responses to “Hello. I am Graham Holiman,”

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  1. TheFewTheProudTheMarinara says:

    Cey: “Holy shit” is still a good one, but like you, I’ve found it hard to stop saying things like “thank heavens I’m an atheist”. Just let it go, and realize it means nothing.

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