Only in a land of

Published August 20th, 2005 by Bobby Henderson

Only in a land of fairy tales and disney lands can people believe that “things” just poof “appear”.

Evolution uses monkeys, time and chance to explain how everything came to be. The fool says in his heart there is no God, so I will prove to you that you are that fool. Take the evolution theory (which is your only choice), rewind it in your mind until you get to the Big Bang…now pause. How did those original molecules come into being?

Poof, fairy tales…they just appeared out of nothing, nowhere.

Ok so who is the dummy here, me or you? I got reality on my side and you dont and here is the obvious point you missed though you stare at it everyday…: Complex objects dont appear from nothing, be it a car, airplane, computer chip they all have a designer and strenous efforts to make them, any slip in the manufacturing process screws it all up.

I have reality on my side…I believe in a Designer: God., the God of the Bible that explained creation to your ancestors and could to you but you are stubborn as heck, Id say even more then a mule.

There are NO transistionary fossils in the record (ie. half bird, half fish) The second law of thermo-dynamics conclude that everything is falling apart, not evolving into mor complex entities.

How come we still have Apes if they evolved into humans? Apes are there to show how foolish you evolutionists are.

YOu could hide behind your “I dont believe that, I simply believe in the meatball theory” Then my theory on you being a fool would be obviously clear and intact.

And if you still think you are so smart and wise,to be above a Biblical God theory, allowt me ask your wife how you really are and it should silence you.

David Dorozan

59 Responses to “Only in a land of”

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  1. Bazzacuda says:

    “Ok so who is the dummy here, me or you?”.

    Well, that would undoubtedly be you, David Dorozan. But thanks for seeking clarification on that point.

    As well as a beer volcano and a stripper factory, I really hope that Noodly Heaven has a debating chamber with an endless supply of these idiots who will keep me entertained for all eternity.

    Bless His saucy Balls.


    • Master Bates says:

      Bazzacuda, there will indeed be a chamber full of fundie idiots, engaging, for your amusement, in mass-debate. The Sauceror defines this place of religious learning as a semen-area.

  2. Master Bates says:

    “How come we still have apes if they evolved into humans”? David, you idiotic fuckwit. How come we still have Europeans, if some of them ‘evolved’ into Americans? Europeans are there to show you how foolish you are!

  3. Rasputin says:

    That’s right Master, just because some Europeans have learned to use tools and walk upright, it doesn’t mean they’re the same as Americans. Americans have clearly evolved into a superior species, as can be seen by their wide arses and faultless teeth.

    • Master Bates says:

      Rasputin, I thought that North Americans were a different species to Europeans and had been created specially by God to populate the Promised Land. The fat arses come from interbreeding with T-Rex.

      • Extra Garlic says:

        You must remember that there are different North American species as well. Although not nearly as numerous as our American cousins, the residents of the great white north, also known as Canuckleheads, have less of the T-Rex gene but a far more prevalent abominable snowman genome which gives us our nice thick back hair .

        • Master Bates says:

          Extra Garlic, that explains everything; interbreeding with the Abdominal Snowman did for the waistline, what T-Rex did for the thighs.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Y’all are quite right, of course. We ‘mercans were originally interbred with T-Rex, but through centuries of successful inbreeding , we have selected for straight, but rotting teeth, and have completely eliminated that unnecessary walnut-sized brain that we were cursed with. Now, we don’t have to think anymore.

          Oh, yeah, and when the FSM was handing out arses, we ‘mercans thought he said “cars-es”, and we all said, “gimme an extra-large double-wide with a full tank of gas”.

  4. Saint Gnocchi says:

    Dear Rasputin! Hahahahahahhahaha! Over to you now Saucerer, the ball is in your court! Then I’ll think up another African teeth quip, followed by either Keith or SKM’s take on Australasian teeth. Howzat?

    • The Sauceror says:

      Dear St. G., you know me. I don’t like making fun of anybody’s funny for’n accent or their bizarre crooked teeth. I wasn’t aware that Orshtralyans even had any teeth. All they ever talk about is their gums.

      I only want to be nice and sweet like Mahgrut Thotchuh. In case you don’t know who I’m talking about– she’s the Prime Minister who could eat corn through a picket fence.

    • Keith says:

      I do have crooked teeth, mainly because we ‘Strayans prize our teeth so much that we want to keep them all. If we lose our teeth we just fix things by plucking the corks off our hats and plugging them into our gums. That partly accounts for our accents.

      • The Sauceror says:

        Plus, y’all have bears in your gums. The koala kind, not the normal kind.

        • The Sauceror says:

          Dear Keith, but then, aren’t Australians really just English people who are too lazy to learn English?

          –just like how Australians say that Kiwis are really just Australians who are too lazy to learn Australian (or much of anything else, for that matter).

          But then, what do I know? My country was founded on the principle that “all men are created equal”— while the whole economy was based on slavery.

          ……..so there you go.

        • Captain Birdseye says:

          The Sauceror, at least Australians didn’t trash the dictionary.
          Koalas are the only real bears, which is why they don’t need the word ‘bear’ added.
          American teeth are like stars – they come out at night.
          I wasn’t aware that America had stopped slavery. Isn’t that why they do Thanksgiving?

        • Keith says:

          We do have Drop Bears. They are more common in Australia than Borched Mesoms.

  5. Rasputin says:

    May I recommend the YouTube video, “An Undeniable Prognosis (Best Atheist Arguments)”. Obviously they’re wrong, and I had to add my own comments about the FSM.

  6. Captain Birdseye says:

    Rasputin, the more I watch, the more I’m convinced that fundies have acquired some sort of behavioural addiction. If one could see and point at heroin or crack, addiction would be clear to all. In the way that addicts use increasing mental gymnastics to justify their substance use, fundies appear to do the same, and, the need for increasing doses (tolerance) and withdrawal symptoms would also be predictable.
    Obsessions and compulsions (behavioural addictions), such as repeated hand-washing, make the person feel safe, secure and in danger if they don’t engage in them. Religion seems to do exactly the same. Without the ‘rationale’ of calling it religion, it would be regarded as a mental disorder.
    I will research the idea that faith is a ‘narcotic’ and suspect that someone like Marx already said as much. I would like to see courts treat indoctrinating a child as seriously as introducing them to heroin.
    I am reminded of a famous experiment where several people who all believed they were Jesus, were brought together to discus the impossible situation. All had perfect rationales and none changed their conviction.

    • Captain Birdseye says:

      It was Marx who referred to religion as opium and Freud who called it a narcotic. Anyone interested might wish to read ONE perspective at http://www.experimentaltheology – the narcotic functions of faith.

  7. Rasputin says:

    Wise stuff on this blog.
    Sorry, that makes me seem like a spambot.

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