The book is something more than worth noting. I believe it to be so thought provoking that I intend to bring it along with me to a local music venue tonight, the Underground Cafe. (underground-cafe.com) You’d be amazed at how little the word has spread amongst these impressionable youths. They’ll be touched soon enough…by His Noodley Appendage.
Ramen
2 - September 17th, 2006 at - Matt Says:
all hail his holyness
3 - September 17th, 2006 at - Matt Says:
all hail his holyness HAZA
4 - September 18th, 2006 at - Ian Barker Says:
…twenty conversions later…
5 - September 19th, 2006 at - Ana Allan Says:
Ramen!
6 - September 20th, 2006 at - Samakar Says:
All hail his noodliness!!
7 - September 20th, 2006 at - smarter than you Says:
so yeah someone told me about this book. needless to say shes atheist and was before she read this book. but anyways i want to read it. wth is up with the noodly appendage. please tell meh!
8 - September 20th, 2006 at - smarter than you Says:
the temp did slightly fall on tuesday. yall musta done a good job cuz it dropped even more wednesday.
9 - September 21st, 2006 at - one true follower Says:
All hail his great noodliness.
10 - September 21st, 2006 at - one true follower Says:
I bought this book and fell in love with it i plan on converting as many people as i can with it.
Ramen!!
11 - September 21st, 2006 at - average agnostic Says:
one true follower…. did u forget one of the 8 i really rather u didnts…… ur not supposed to force the views on to others… its the first of the eight… so next time please actually read and understand the book…….. thank you…. and of course
RAmen
12 - September 21st, 2006 at - Mosquito Says:
Today, for the first time, I read more than the letter and went out to the local bookstore. I thoroughly appreciated the content, but was disappointed by the presentation. I pray for a fine leatherette edition and would happily buy four or five if priced at $20 to $25 each.
RAmen
13 - September 23rd, 2006 at - Pastafarian convert Says:
FSM is the best thing that has recently been introduced into my life. =)
14 - September 23rd, 2006 at - Cyberatog Says:
I was just wondering, is it buyable in european bookshops? I would very much want one the “easy but physical way” (go to the store).
FSM is the best thing since the cheese shredder, and cheese shredders are awesome. Better up, FSM is better than cheese shredders, which explains alot.
15 - September 28th, 2006 at - Mystery Says:
Is this even a real religion?
16 - September 28th, 2006 at - Meeee Says:
Yes, it is.
Ramen.
17 - September 28th, 2006 at - Mystery Says:
….ur serious?
18 - September 28th, 2006 at - djjack Says:
It’s as real as Christianity. That’s the point.
19 - September 28th, 2006 at - djjack Says:
Well, that’s one of the points, anyway.
20 - September 28th, 2006 at - one true follower Says:
average agnostic
Sep 21st, 2006 at 5:49 pm
one true follower…. did u forget one of the 8 i really rather u didnts…… ur not supposed to force the views on to others… its the first of the eight… so next time please actually read and understand the book…….. thank you…. and of course
RAmen
yes i did read it i said i was gunna convert them not force them i will simply show them and tell them about the FSM and let them decide ive done this to a few ppl and convered 6 already
Ramen
21 - September 28th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
hmmm, i have one question about this heaven…
how do the stripper factories work? I mean, do they take catholic-school girls and give them a quick dance course, do they stamp em out of a mold or are they just latex coated stripperbots?
22 - September 28th, 2006 at - Stevie P Says:
I’ve had a revelaton regarding the stripper factories Aussie. It came to me in a dream last night (after a heavy supper of angel hair and Swedish). Basically, it breaks down like this. Initially, the noodly one reserved the strippers from the factories for martyrs - that is pirates who perished at sea in storms, or ate too much pasta and sank. However, after a day at the beer volcanoes, one particularly belligerent non-matyr got horny, and organized a protest. This culminated in the “Great stripper fight of 1597″, during which the FSM appeared personally and said “OK. It was pretty dumb to try to keep the stippers for an elite, but lets face it, if you’re going to be in a heaven designed and run by carbohydrate dominated food, then you get what you deserve. But OK, you can all have the strippers”. But of course, there were not enough to go around, and so robots are indeed used now - but really top ones, like the robot chicks in the old movie “Westworld”.
RAmen.
23 - September 29th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
eyyyyyyy
.
now, if all the religions could solve their problems like that, the world would be a better place.
RAmen
24 - October 1st, 2006 at - Toastman Says:
I’m getting my copy next week. Can’t wait!
As much as I want to become a Pastafarian I can’t bring myself to do it until I know more about it. Lets hope the gospel meets my needs :P
25 - October 3rd, 2006 at - Saint Says:
I hope people aren’t seriously following this religion. I’m a devoted Christian, and I appreciate this as humor, but if people are honestly believing it, it needs to stop.
It’s not real.
It’s a funny joke.
A really funny joke.
So laugh.
Don’t believe.
26 - October 3rd, 2006 at - gill Says:
Tell me, Saint: who exactly are you to decide what is ‘real’ religion-wise or not? Or for that matter, what one should believe in or not? (and why can’t one both laugh AND believe?)
27 - October 4th, 2006 at - Bernhard Kletzenbauer Says:
I am waiting for a translation of the Book in german language.
28 - October 4th, 2006 at - puffaliaz Says:
Where can I get this in Canada?
29 - October 4th, 2006 at - SqrlWthANife Says:
Saint, it is good to see you have a sense of humor. But as gill said why can’t we laugh and believe? How do you know “GOD” of Christianity isn’t a damned Flying Spaghetti Monster? Maybe we’re the correct ones and your not. Ever think of it that way? (Yay I just ordered my gospel). RAmen.
30 - October 5th, 2006 at - whizzo Says:
just ordered my copy… although i already am a true believer, this is a must-have.
ALL HAIL HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!!!!
ramen
31 - October 5th, 2006 at - djjack Says:
Saint, it’s real alright. I have finally found, after years of searching and then ultimately giving up, an organization in which I wholly belong. Call that crazy, but if there was an actual building with actual services to practice Pastafarianism, I would be there religiously. This would be especially true if, as a follower of the FSM, I could take every Friday off for religious observance. What does “real” mean, anyway? In my reality, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. Is Scientology real? Whether or not the tenets of the “religion” are real, Scientology clearly exists. That is not to say that I think FSMism and Scientology are equal. They are, to be sure, equally absurd, but at least FSMism is benign and up front about all its beliefs and practices. All this aside, if I walk away from my computer having laughed, especially at myself, that is more benefit than I have ever derived from other belief systems. Unitarian Universalism came very, very close, but I just can’t get it together to actually go to church once a week. That is most definitely not a slam against the UU Church, by the way. The UU Church has my full respect and admiration.
32 - October 5th, 2006 at - pastaman Says:
finally i got the gospel!(hope that pirate ship gets finished soon…)
33 - October 7th, 2006 at - YarrFysh Says:
Saint, (and other Christians)
As an ex-protestant, ex-Atheist, ex-born-again-Christian Agnostic, I found Christianity and ID to be as unlikely as FSMism (when I first found this site).
After hearing Richard Dawkins’s interview and reading the connections with string theory and chaos, my new position on the matter is that FSMism is far MORE likely than Christianity.
Quite frankly, a theory devised by a Ph.D.-educated Physicist is far more appealing than one passed on by a church with a history of criminal behaviour and self-regulated censorship in a 3000-year-old game of Chinese Whispers.
Most of the stories in the Christian Gospels, imagery used by the church, and even public holidays were stolen from Egyptian and Pagan religions that predated Christianity in an effort by the early church to convert “heathens”.
Even the book of Revelations has now been exposed as Anti-Roman POLITICAL propaganda (the “beast” in question being in fact a Roman Governor) as oppose to a religious text, and the recent discovery of the Gospel According To Judas sheds a very different light on the events surrounding the death of Jesus.
Having felt “the Holy Spirit” myself when I was young, lost and impressionable, then feeling the same feeling again the first time I played live (as a musician of the non-religious variety), I can with all honestly say that I was deluded into thinking that it was the Holy Spirit by the pressure of the churchgoers around me at the time, whereas what I actually experienced was nothing more than an adrenaolin rush brought about by the thought of everything I had ever worried about being meaningless if being watched over by a parental God figure, and the selfish desire for the promise of eternal life after death.
I now feel a deep sympathy for others who become deluded in the same way that I did, people who are scared and looking for reason in life.
When it comes down to it, there really is little point to life other than to experience it in all its glory and spread happiness and the truth wherever possible.
Admittedly, once one decides in one’s own mind to reject the fallacy of God, the world indeed becomes a scary and lonely place, but one of truth not delusion.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”
34 - October 7th, 2006 at - mightypiratekalypso Says:
To Saint:
Actually, I could say the exact same thing you said only about Christianity. Is it a joke?
35 - October 8th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
If it is all the joke of some non pasta-based god, he must have a rather crude sense of humour…
36 - October 8th, 2006 at - The Aussie Says:
***BREAKING NEWS***
God manifests in Jerusalem
.
His first words;
” Pull my finger!”
.
In other news, gale force winds destroy middle east
37 - October 8th, 2006 at - SaucyWench Says:
I knew it! I just knew Benevolent Flatulence would be a part of this whole thing. Hey, there’s another good name for a bnad… Benevolent Flatulence. Alright, maybe it’s not a good name for a band. It’s a good name for something, though. I’m sure of it.
38 - October 9th, 2006 at - Munificent Says:
YarrFysh, you are eloquent. You summarized my feelings completely. Thank you. Christian(s) and all, take heed, and leave informed.
39 - October 10th, 2006 at - Maxx Says:
First of all, I would just like to say that I love this whole Idea. It’s both funny and functional. I myself am an agnostic. I come from a very strong christian background, but I had an “awakening”. What I do believe though, is that people can do more than we give ourselves credit for. That is exactly why I don’t believe in “bashing” anyone else’s religion. If you are a christian and it works for you, stick with it. I can’t help but think about the movie “The Matrix”, if I were given the option; I would have stayed in the Matrix. I have unfortunately seen the truth, but I won’t do anything to haul other people out of the Matrix. On the flipside, trying to force people into the Matrix is way worse.
I guess in the end of the day, it all depends on whether you prefer truth or a sense of “purposeâ€.
Back to the topic, I’ll need to scout around South Africa to find a bookstore that will be able to source “The Gospel†for me. I can’t wait to read it though, I guess it will just have to replace my copy of “Leadership†by Rudolf Giuliani, as my new coffee table book.
In closing, it is great to see that there are other like minded people out there.
40 - October 10th, 2006 at - NoSfeaTuS Says:
Fellow Pastaferians
May His Noodly Appendage be with you all. I sit before you here to tell you that the growth of New-Age Pirates (NAPs)is grately pleasing His Noodly Grace. The growth of Torrent users, LimeWire Spamers, and Informaion Hackers is pleasing him. The fact that with a mouse click you can download $5,000+ worth of merchandise (such as MCSE certification classes, Recenty release Movies, Anime, Music, etc.) is stimulating his balls. So we can hope for a great temperature decrease in the near future, and we will not stop until it snows in iraq.
41 - October 10th, 2006 at - To Shai Says:
genuis
42 - October 10th, 2006 at - To Shai Says:
*genius
43 - October 12th, 2006 at - Markus Andaramen Says:
I haven’t read the book; and I haven’t seen it in any hotels yet either. Does the FSM offer life after death? That is the main thing I am looking for. I will have to admit that I used to have religion that offered that, but it was to unbelievable. After all, what God would give a person such a marvelous brain, then ask you not to use it.
I live in Oregon (USA), the Goll Darn greatest state in the union. It is also fretfully the least churched state, but hopefully that could change with this new FSM scripture being realized and written here.
Does anybody want to start a FSM Church here in Oregon? Maybe we could find an old un-used church complete with the Michaelangelo(speeling?) painting with his nOOdleyness!! I here the tax breaks are fantastic. We could have spaghetti feeds and have a faith based program for getting say math users and alcoholics of those nasty drugs.
RAmen
44 - October 13th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
Markus,
.
I admire your enthusiasm. You really should get a copy of the Gospel, or The Word as I like to call it. It will anser many of your questions.
.
Is there a FSM heaven? Yes. It has a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
.
Does anyone want to build a church? As outlined in his “I Really Wish You Wouldn’ts”, the FSM would prefer we not spend money on building churches/temples to His Noodly Greatness when that money could be better spent feeding the starving, housing the homeless, or improving the quality of American made beer (OK, I added that last one).
.
RAmen
45 - October 13th, 2006 at - spider Says:
Markus you should take heed of OneEyedJack (a fine piratical title to be sure), having plundered a copy of the Gospel (or The Word) or as it referred to here The Treasure Chest of Wisdom. I cannot recommend it highly enough, a fine tome for perusal between voyages.
.
As further evidence of his noodly love and constant attention to our needs i believe the FSM has already heeded Jacks pleas and improved American beer, you can plunder it easily, it’s being called British Beer and there are many varities, all may be correctly termed Grog, although most are somewhat darker and stronger than the beer plundered elswhere and have a long track record of sustaining pirates on long voyages…
.
may ye plundering be bountiful and ye wenches buxom
RAmen
46 - October 13th, 2006 at - SaucyWench Says:
I don’t know about building an actual church. How about renting an abandoned drive-in theater? Or, we could converge on the Pirates of the Carribean ride at Disney World, and we could all astrally project ourselves there at the same time. Hmmm…. I’ll have to think more about that one. If spending time online at this website constitutes as attending church, I’ve been more of a churchgoer over the past month than I have in my entire life up to now. I’ve been redeemed and saved by the blessed touch of his noodly appendage! Even though I’m a good SaucyWench, though, I don’t really speak Pirate well. I guess that’s the next step in my conversion to complete wenchhood.
47 - October 15th, 2006 at - Duneman Says:
His teaching have left me in doubt of my place in the eternal universe for I am a reformed sinner! Can I hope to enter His kingdom when I die for I have done much to offend Him.
I grew up catholic, I served in the Coast Guard (which hunts pirates), I don’t really like beer.
On the plus side, I DID marry a stripper. Does that count for anything?
48 - October 15th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
Wow, Duneman… a pirate hunter. That is really unfortunate. Of course, pirates couldn’t be pirates without someone to chase them, could they? I offer that pirate hunters are also part of his Noodly Design.
.
I wouldn’t worry too much about Heaven. You said you don’t like beer and already have your own stripper. Sounds like you’re set.
.
Pull up a chair and have some pasta.
.
RAmen.
49 - October 17th, 2006 at - Someone Says:
Ok…thats Really degrading and all. I’m a guy…but still, how do women expierince your “heaven.” Not everyone just wants to get some. (Not that I’m among them!) I also don’t get how pirates fit in.
Nor do I believe this is a true religion, just a played out joke. Please help me understand your “noodly” ways.
This Person.
50 - October 17th, 2006 at - Someone Says:
BTW…I’ve actually read more about your religion. You know…some of it makes sense. Amazing what just 5 minuets of reading can do. BUT STILL…please explain the slighty sexist in my opinion “heaven.”
I do belive most of your religion makes sense. Heck, I might go get this “Gospel of the Flying Spaggheti (spelling?) Monster.”
A Changed Someone.
51 - October 17th, 2006 at - gill Says:
Actually, Someone, as a girl I’m cool with the stripper factory concept. (The major reason for that is, there are male strippers involved. Male strippers=happy me)
52 - October 17th, 2006 at - Someone Says:
ohhhh…wow. Hem…if your Gospel didn’t have so much language in it…I would buy it. I think his noodly appendage has graced me. I think you guys (and gals) are right, Christianity has a creator but we have no obvious proof of him…and hes just a little (sarcastiacally) selfish. He wants me to be perfect…but then lets me sin??? WTF?!
Noodly ways are SOOOO much better.
-Another One Touched By His Noodly Appendage-
53 - October 17th, 2006 at - wwfsmd? Says:
(My parents probaly won’t let me get it…I’m only 13 *tear*)
54 - October 17th, 2006 at - spider Says:
Whilst it is probably right to do what your parents (the masters of the homely ship) say up to a point, do not be downhearted, firstly you’ve found your way here - and we’ll raise a toast to that with some grog, and secondly you’ve got the gospel to look forward to.
.
plus, there’s just as much silliness here as in the gospel
55 - October 18th, 2006 at - Davey Says:
Shouldn’t that be “Grog Lite” for the 13-year-olds, spider?
.
Shiver me parrot, matey!
56 - October 18th, 2006 at - wwfsmd? Says:
I don’t know how I should tell my family I believe that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created us all and that heaven has a beer valcanoes and a stripper factory. They are mostly Christians and will probaly be upset that I have been converted to Pastafainism.
Not like I really care what they think. *Laughter*
57 - October 19th, 2006 at - pyrolyte Says:
@wwfsmd at least you are thinking now. Keep thinking and asking questions. Always ask questions and find out the truth for yourself.
58 - October 20th, 2006 at - Col Ben Says:
Theres now a rapidly accumulating theology, and I was wanting to compare notes.
The Purple Oyster (of Doom) is a renegade meatball responsible for all the evil in the world, who has refused to accept His status as a meatball (though he was meatier than the rest).
The FSM forms a Divine Binity with the Invisable Pink Unicorn - the FSM grew out of one of His own appendages when the IPU stepped on it (the IPU could not previously be sure of its existance, because non-existance is part of its essence, so in fact She still isn’t sure, but the FSM is good evidence).
The spot where that happened is marked by the Sub Orbital Teapot; whose spout represents the FSM, whose lid respresents the hoof of the IPU, the tea the tomato sauce and the teabags the meatballs. Everything in the universe orbits that point, in orbits which can only be described as, noodly. All this of course just supports the virtue in dedicating oneself to the tea-drinking pirate lifestyle.
Should anyone doubt the existence of the FSM, imagine the most noodly thing you can - a real thing is more noodly than one which doesn’t exist. We call that none-can-be-more noodly-than, the FSM.
Renegade theologians are out there.. pasta be upon Him..
59 - October 20th, 2006 at - Christian (no really, thats my name) Says:
If you’re a Christian reading this page, don’t be daunted. Just because pretty much no one here believes in the Christian God doesn’t mean He’s not real. I’m not gonna be presumptuous and pretend I know the real truth, but it really doesn’t matter if God’s real, as long as you believe in Him. The difference between believing in Christianity and Pastafarianism is that with Christianity you can be guaranteed a happy life. It’s possible that we’re both wrong, but who really cares? No one can say they honestly know the truth by evidence, but if you have faith and believe anyway, it’s not too important what credentials you have.
I read YarrFysh’ post and it kinda pissed me off. I’m not even too strong a Christian, I’m still exploring religions, I lean towards Christianity because I have no reason not to. The only thing I know for sure is that there’s something out there that we don’t understand, because our logic defies itself at times. But when someone like YarrFysh claims to know for sure that God doesn’t exist and that spurning God leads to truth, he’s only asking for bad things. For one thing he may be taking the wrong path, there’s really no telling, but when he doesn’t even know for sure then it pisses me off that he would try to lead others to follow him. If God is real, which is possible, then he’s pretty much burning his bridges, and if God isn’t, then it really doesn’t hurt him to not say anything, so why not shut the hell up. You’re not leading anyone to happiness or “truth” or anything at all, really, until you can say for sure that you know the full truth and exactly why everything is the way it is and back it with undeniable evidence. It’s pretty much proven that you can’t, so you might as well stfu.
60 - October 20th, 2006 at - Christian (no really, thats my name) Says:
and btw, praise his noodly goodness
RAmen.
61 - October 20th, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
Hey Christian,
What makes you happy is not the same thing that makes Pastafarians happy. For you, doing good deeds and being at peace with yourself makes you happy. Pastafarians delight in mocking things they don’t understand or don’t believe. They are happy to get together and mock any Christians who try to get a word in.
62 - October 20th, 2006 at - Christian (no really, thats my name) Says:
thats not really true about me, but i geuss its pretty close, so whatever. The thing about being delighted by things like that is that the joys are pretty fickle and really won’t last forever. I’m not gonna try to convert you, that’s not really my place if you don’t want to be converted, but with a Christian life you’re pretty much always happy. The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin. That’s just how it works, don’t worry about it. Pastafarians (and it’s pretty funny to call them that, they’re really just nonreligious people acting out a joke) (and it’s a good joke, btw, I agree with the ignorance-free parts of it’s message and I respect it’s comedy) really don’t end up with a happy lifestyle. They just end up giving into temptation and not feeling bad about it because they decide not to believe it’s bad. Pretty much everyone has the desire to do that, and the reason people like this “religion” so much is because it allows them to do so. If there was a religion out there that just told you to go around and do whatever you want, then people would join it. It’s a weakness. Go for it. Have a good time. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts. But don’t lead others to follow you if they don’t understand what’s going on. It’s just not nice to them.
And prais his noodly goodness.
RAmen
63 - October 20th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
faghettini,
.
Please speak for yourself. You do not speak for all Pastafarians.
.
OEJ
64 - October 21st, 2006 at - J Says:
LONG POST. REGULAR READERS WILL ALREADY HAVE HEARD ALL THESE ARGUMENTS. THEY’RE REPEATED FOR THE BENEFIT OF CHRISTIAN (NO REALLY THAT’S MY NAME)
.
Christian (NRTMN),
.
Like One Eyed Jack, I’d like to point out that we’re not all here because we just like mocking things we don’t understand. We’re also not here purely for the comedy value.
.
The FSM is both comedy and mockery (of a sort) but with a very serious and sensible purpose. It’s a satirical argument that points out the total inadequacy of ‘evidence’ for any theistic religion.
.
This sort of attack wouldn’t be necessary if people didn’t do all kinds of serious things based on their theistic beliefs. The FSM site was motivated by dangerous attempts to subvert science teaching, but we don’t have to look far to find other examples all over the world every day.
.
You seem to have your heart in the right place in so far as that religion seems to you to be about achieving a happy life. You’re also admirably adverse to indoctrinating us peaceful Pastafarians. Where you worry me is where you start talking about sin.
.
Sin is doing things that your god of choice has told you not to. You say ‘The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin.’ Here you scare me.
.
When I used believe in the Christian god, I reaped great psychological rewards of happiness when I could assure myself that I was doing his will, and suffered bouts of guilt when I told myself that I had sinned against him. This isn’t mysterious or supernatural. Today, I feel guilty for being rude, for accidentally breaking someone’s expensive ornament or even for breaking the law in a way that will harm no one (like driving in a bus lane when there’s no traffic). I feel good if I buy someone a present, give my time up to help someone with a boring job, or manage to make someone smile. God is not necessary for any of this.
.
What worries me about your god-given ethics is the very fact that they are god-given, instead of proceeding from paying attention to the people around you. Depending on who your god is, he might cause you to object to people’s sexuality, to treat one sex as inferior to another, to demand the wearing of certain clothes, to mutilate children’s genitals, to impose the death penalty on a cartoonist, to withhold contraception from poverty-stricken families unable to cope with all their children or to make war on people with other gods. This is where we have a right to object to your claim that ‘if you have faith and believe anyway, it’s not too important what credentials you have.’ Were you to attempt to do any of the above things to me, I would be very keen to see some credentials.
.
Pastafarians – and atheists – can be just as happy as you. They get their happiness from doing things that will actually benefit other people. They get guilt from doing things that benefit themselves at the cost of others.
.
Doesn’t this seem fairer, more sensible and more satisfying than deriving happiness or guilt from following laws passed down from dubious sources, based on the presumed will of an unprovable god?
.
From the perspective of an outsider who will be affected by your actions, I am certain that I’d rather know that your morality is based on being nice to me rather than on following instructions from an invisible authority figure. In fact, given what some people’s invisible authority figures have managed to get them to do, I am inclined to feel that taking orders from one should be illegal.
.
In the course of my life so far, and in spite of some time as a serious and sincere Christian, I have yet to actually spot god anywhere. I have, on the other hand, seen a lot of people. I think they have the greater claim on my love and care.
.
LONG POST OVER
65 - October 21st, 2006 at - Noodlelicious Says:
Very eloquent, J. I totally agree!
*
And I must respectfully disagree with the assertion that Christianity leads to a happy life. I find this to be circular reasoning: If you’re a devout Christian, you should be happy to live within God’s laws, and if you’re unhappy with them, then you’re a bad Christian. This reasoning excludes any unhappy Christians by denying them a place within the group. This seems unfair and biased.
*
This also seems to state that if only everyone would be a good Christian, we would all be happy! This seems very unlikely to me. Life is hard and bad things happen… and althought I reluctantly admire people who are not upset by anything, I also wonder about their mental health.
*
Now I must go commune with my god… the water’s boiling!
66 - October 21st, 2006 at - gill Says:
“Pastafarians delight in mocking things they don’t understand or don’t believe. They are happy to get together and mock any Christians who try to get a word in.”–excuse-moi, I don’t consider myself so annoying. Stop generalizing already, yeesh.
-
“with a Christian life you’re pretty much always happy. The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin.”–as has been said, being Christian is NOT the only way to be happy, nor is it a guarentee of happiness. I’m not Christian and yet am enjoying my life. Plenty of Christians have decided they were NOT happy and switched religions (as has happened in every faith.) And this sin buissnes…..it’s so black and white, it bothers me. ‘Do this and you’re ok, do that and you’re sinning’. I dunno, seems to me like different circumstances would allow the lines to blur a bit, no?
67 - October 21st, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
“–excuse-moi, I don’t consider myself so annoying. Stop generalizing already, yeesh.”
.
Pastafarianism IS a mockery of Christianity. That much is clear. Anyone who says it isn’t is just starting an argument for its own sake. By identifying with it, you are mocking.
.
I agree that Christianity is not the only way to a happy life, and Christianity doesn’t guarantee a happy life. Where I disagree is that sin should not be black and white. Anyone who says they know precisely what God’s wishes are about abortion and stem cell research and is strong enough in his/her convictions to try to make those notions into laws is a hypocrite. God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail.
68 - October 21st, 2006 at - gill Says:
“Pastafarianism IS a mockery of Christianity.”–It’s a mockery of all religions, actually, including my own; Christianity is the religion most identify ID with, so it’s kinda the bases of the site, but I’m sure if Muslims were trying to teach ID in school this site’d use them instead. It’s really a mockery of *god* if you want to look at it that way. I identify with it because its cause–against the teaching of ID in science–is one I support. If the site gets its point across by mocking, so be it, but I myself don’t support it because it mocks. I support it ’cause I agree with its point.
Plus it’s really funny. Anyone who can’t laugh at themselves once in a while needs to loosen up.
-
“God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail. “–Agreed. That’s why I have issues with people who use the bible/god as the basis for their claims. I might use my religious beliefs as a *factor*, but if the evidence is pointing in another direction then it’d be stupid of me to ignore it. In terms of sin being black and white, I’ll use abortion: religiously, it’s a sin. Point blank, it’s a sin, no ifs ands or buts. However, I support abortion if a woman’s been raped, is in danger health-wise, so on so forth, but not if the day before the baby’s due she decides to get rid of it. Basically, there’s *always* grey areas, so just saying right-out, ‘this is wrong’, seems off to me.
69 - October 21st, 2006 at - Davey Says:
@faghettini:
“God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail.”
.
Hint: if it ain’t there, it’s pretty resistant to analysis.
70 - October 21st, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
@Davey:
“Hint: if it ain’t there, it’s pretty resistant to analysis.”
.
That is precisely the kind of input that this discussion doesn’t need any more of.
71 - October 21st, 2006 at - Marcus Marinara Says:
“That is precisely the kind of input that this discussion doesn’t need any more of.”
Why would you post to this website if you can’t cope with a discussion that the Christian God doesn’t exist?
.
Oh, and by the way, “faghettini” is an interesting choice of names. Is this meant to incite?
72 - October 21st, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
I also agree that ID should be left out of Science class, and indeed school altogether, unless the class is called “Studies in Religion”, or something to that effect. It should not be masqueraded as anything other than what it is. It is just a knee-jerk reaction to the Theory of Evolution, and most of it’s supporters haven’t thought it through. There is nothing to teach in ID. We can point out all the improbable coincidences and wonder at how fortunate we are that it all worked out so well, but we can’t legitimately make the leap to saying conclusively that God did it. Especially not in science class.
This site started out in opposition to teaching ID in school, but then quickly evolved into a forum for Christian-bashing. But that is the internet, and that is free speech. There is no IQ requirement to get on the internet.
I think gill’s views on abortion are pretty sound. In some cases it is right, but relying on it as another layer of birth control is a problem.
73 - October 21st, 2006 at - SaucyWench Says:
Marcus, I fully agree. Why would faghettini say that Davey’s comment is not needed in the discussion? It is precisely the kind of comment that is needed, and this forum is precisely the place for it to be said.
RAmen
74 - October 21st, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
Hey Marcus, if you read through every “faghettini” post on this site, you will notice that I never once said that God exists. Coping with it is not the issue. Davey’s post wasn’t discussion. It was sidebar.
As for the name, there is nothing on this page that isn’t meant to incite. I think it fits right in.
75 - October 21st, 2006 at - Davey Says:
Hey, I’m “sidebar”!
Cool!
(I think)
76 - October 22nd, 2006 at - Duneman Says:
Thanks One Eyed, I knew I’d find solace in the company of my fellow believers.
Those that think being a stripper is degrading to a woman should have tagged along when my wife was making her daily deposits in the bank. I think the “victims” here are the ones that went home alone with empty wallets! And she’s looking forward to the male strippers same as Gill!
Duneman
77 - October 22nd, 2006 at - faghettini Says:
Does your wife sleep well at night knowing that the only thing she is good for in this world is getting nekked so that lonely men can have a look at her? Is she satisfied that she has lived up to her full potential and contributed all she had to make the world a better place?
78 - October 23rd, 2006 at - Rutger van Honig Says:
I’d really like to own a nice leather bound, gold inmprinted hard cover copy with a bookmark ribbon as shown on the cover of this rather cheap looking paperback. His divine teachings are in my humble opinion too valuable to be printed on this greyish recycled toiletpaperlike material. May the publisher soon be touched by His Noodly Appendage!
79 - October 23rd, 2006 at - Mark HELP Says:
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME? i want to spread the word and i would love a pamphlet depicting Tim DuBay’s Guide to Pastafarianism, it would probably be the best. i am incredably busy but if i have to i will but it might take me a while. i do own a copy of the gospel but when i found out that it was ok for christians to pass out pamphlets on my college campus i knew this was a sign from the all mighty fsm that i must make small black & white pamphlets so that i might hand them out along side the christians. i would appreciate anyone willing to help. thank you
mark bloodclot36o@aim.com
80 - October 25th, 2006 at - wwfsmd? Says:
(errr…well maybe his wife likes to get naked and enjoys the fact that she is able to make people happy?) just a thought
RAMEN!!!!
81 - October 27th, 2006 at - Seth Sunshine Says:
faghettini, I don’t think you’re in any position to cast judgement upon Duneman’s wife’s profession. And I know you’re likely to come back with ‘I wasn’t judging her merely posing questions,’ but you had a decidedly judgemental tone and insinuated that was her only use. Just as with religion no-one has any right to enforce their beliefs upon someone else and therefore you have no right to say the way somebody lives is right or wrong in this respect. So my advice would be to keep your quips to yourself next time.
And on a more topical note, I’d just like to say I’ve loved reading through everything on the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I’m definately now a Pastafarian convert.
RAmen.
82 - October 30th, 2006 at - Mike Meier Says:
@wwfsmd?
One word - library. Just go check it out instead of buying it or getting your parents to buy it.
83 - October 30th, 2006 at - wwfsmd? Says:
i’ll think about it. lol. well…libraries always want money when i go to see them cuz the books are overdue. so i’ve grown not to like libraries, i know “that’s just being lazy” well w/e i’ll just be lazy then!
:P
84 - October 31st, 2006 at - rafael espaguetti moros Says:
I like it , I like it , I like it , beer , spagettis , wine , stroppers
RAmeeeeennnnnn.
even i like pirates (not very very , but i like it)
85 - November 2nd, 2006 at - A Vagrant Questioner Says:
Note I have yet to read the good book, so correct me as brutally as you want it twill not dissaffect me.
The problem i have with chrstianity in all of its form is this.
Ask forgivness and you are forgiven.
Confess and your path to heaven is secured.
I see many flaws moraly in that, i that is true i personally dont belibve it is then Ted Bundy a man who murdered and raped over one hundred women can easily acces paradise?.
And now for a deep question why would any creater be it a pasta god or a christian titan allow so much pain and suffering in the world, no one likes seeing children starve. So i ask both ye faiths where are your gods for the people that never have a chance?
Answer me these question if at all possible,
86 - November 2nd, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
Questioner,
.
All good questions if you believe that the creator of the universe has a vested interest in us. Something which many religions profess. We are egotistical beings. We are convinced we matter. We want to feel we matter.
.
Consider this. How much do you care about the fate of an ant, a gnat, or a bacterium? Would you intervene to save an ant, a gnat, or a bacterium? We assume that a divine creator would have a vested interest in us. How can we possibly know the mind of such a being? Why should this creator care what happens to an ant, a gnat, a bacterium, or us? Relatively speaking we are down there with the bacteria.
.
The FSM does not send people to hell. There is no true Pastafarian hell. It’s more like sitting in the smoky part of the bar, with a bad view of the dance stage, and having to drink stale beer. The FSM gave us brains. I imagine he expects us to use them and deal with the assholes ourselves.
.
OEJ
87 - November 3rd, 2006 at - Roj Villapardo Says:
I have not read the Gospel. I have just enjoyed reading all of your posts on this particular page. This posting may be out of place here, but I wanted to add to the discussion.
I do not believe in God.
I am not an Atheist.
These two statements are not mutually exclusive.
IMO, there is a crucial misjudgement that atheists make on their personal religious path. That misjudgement is to assume that Church and God are irrevocably conjunct. This is not necessarily the fault of the athiest. The Church preaches that disbelief in even one aspect of its dogma is disbelief in the entire system. The Church also preaches that it is the only true conduit for communion with God. When a devoted acolyte learns of pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, or sloth perpetrated by Holy Men or their Holy Bureaucracy, it is natural to assume that God (the only god he/she knows) must not exist; This is a logical fallacy. Just because a lollipop must be held up by a stick doesn’t mean the stick is going to be sweet and tasty.
The thought that escapes most athiests is that they don’t have to believe in God in order to believe in god, or gods. Everett Fox - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everett_Fox - interprets YHWH as “I will be there howsoever I will be there.” Saying further (I’m paraphrasing here) that when God is asked His name, He responds that the name is not important. That if you need Him, He will already be at your side. I like to take that one step further, and say that He’s there when you need Him, and in the form in which you need him. God doesn’t need to be a ridiculous gray-haired man on a throne. And He can be an equally ridiculous Flying Spaghetti Monster. It’s up to each of us as individual human beings with functioning brains to deduce the true nature of the god we choose to worship.
In summation: Atheists who are utterly certain that there has never been any sort of supreme being frighten me as much as people who are utterly certain that the biblical flood was an historical event.
88 - November 3rd, 2006 at - Roj Villapardo Says:
Sweet Jesus, someone save me from my horrid spelling and formatting. *stabs self with dagger*
89 - November 3rd, 2006 at - A Vagrant Questioner Says:
In response to Roj
Excelent however,
God, if exsistant would have to be female. I know this for two reasons no man has that much to say and thousands of years after eating her apple we are still catching crap about it.
90 - November 4th, 2006 at - nikkiee Says:
Well, it is often left up to the woman to go out and buy more apples!
91 - November 4th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
Roj
.
What you describe is really more along the lines of what a deist is. Atheists by definition do not believe in God, a god, or gods. What you argue may be a resonable way to look at the idea of ‘god’, but you’re talking about something other than atheism.
.
You write, “Atheists who are utterly certain that there has never been any sort of supreme being frighten me as much as people who are utterly certain that the biblical flood was an historical event.”
.
Why would this frighten you? Do you believe in Zeus, Wotan, Baal or Odin? Should it scare me if you don’t? Perhaps what you fear is not atheists, but the possibility that they could be right.
.
OEJ, spreading the word with a shovel and pitchfork
92 - November 4th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
nikkiee,
.
That’s only true in the Bible. In real life it’s the woman’s job to go out and buy more beer!
.
OEJ, running for my life.
93 - November 4th, 2006 at - nikkiee Says:
Bah! You just havn’t been properly trained OEJ. Ever noticed how, after a few years (say 5), a man starts referring to his “til death do us part” as the boss!!!
94 - November 4th, 2006 at - nikkiee Says:
These men have discovered the key to a happy marriage. (along with everything that implies)
95 - November 4th, 2006 at - One Eyed Jack Says:
nikkiee,
.
Some might argue that the term “happy marriage” is an oxymoron.
.
OEJ,
96 - November 4th, 2006 at - nikkiee Says:
I concede!
97 - November 4th, 2006 at - Pwnerade Says:
I have felt the touch of His Noodly Appendage! All hail His Noodliness!
Wow, this religion hasn’t been around for that long, and there already appears to be religious debate. Dang . . .
RAmen
98 - November 7th, 2006 at - Quolnok Says:
I’m glad the Australian (and UK) release is the hardcover version as depicted on the US cover (complete with ribbon). Much more “religious text”y.
99 - November 9th, 2006 at - Uncle Simon Says:
I bought the book at Borders recently and I’m almost finished. This is the most hilarious and amazing book I have ever read.
RAmen.
100 - November 9th, 2006 at - The Spaghetti Thief Says:
I must say I am most appalled at the vast number of people intent on eating the precious Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is disgusting that it is legal for people to purchase, kill and eat this innocent creature…even if it does taste absolutely delicious. Even when it is smothered in a rich tomato and meatball sauce, the crime is still horrendous. I have many things to say on this atrocious topic, but I must go as the pasta is ready and the sauce done. I shall be back to publish my scrumptious recipie for homemade pasta and meatball sauce. Dig in.
101 - November 11th, 2006 at - Uncle Simon Says:
I’ve finished the gospel,well, to be completely honest, I finished it yesterday afternoon. Does anyone have any idea where eye patches are available for purchase? I don’t want to offend His noodlyness when preaching the Word.
they actually have the gospel in the public library here in tampa. i wonder how long until its stolen.
104 - November 21st, 2006 at - Shameless Truth Says:
I have yet to read this book of yours, but it seems like a worth-while read. Your Spaghetti God and his audacious followers have tickled me greatly. Keep pissing people off, please.
Seriously. Someone has to. =)
105 - November 21st, 2006 at - 0nn3 Says:
Dear Mr. Henderson,
I really have to thank for making everything clear, I feel like after eating icecream.
You made me realize where this world is about. It just makes total sense. Tell me, what else than a giant spaghetti ball could have created our beautyfull world? I got informed by some friends of mine, but even they couldn’t tell me if the gospel was also able to buy in Holland..
Hail The Noodly Master. Ramen
0nn3
P.S. You are so freaking poowning man, just one word: respect to you (I have the feeling I’m not counting very well).
106 - November 22nd, 2006 at - Roj Villapardo Says:
Response to OEJ’s November 4th post:
The answer to your question is that I am scared by those who have blind faith in anything, whether it be religion, science, or themselves.
At the end of the day, when I am removing my eyepatch and tricorne, I utter a humble prayer unto the Flying Spaghetti Monster thusly:
Dear FSM, may your noodly appendage eternally keep my feet planted firmly to the ground, may you invisibly watch over me, my loved ones, and all pastafarians, and most of all, may you deliver me from those who have blind faith, for lo, they are douches to people who don’t believe in their God, and as you know, I already have too many douches in my life.
Your pal,
Roj
107 - November 22nd, 2006 at - Penne Says:
-You are so freaking poowning man-What does ‘poowning’ mean? Anyone?
108 - November 22nd, 2006 at - Roj Villapardo Says:
I’m guessing it’s a synonym for omnipotent, as written by someone who believes that the words “beautyfull” and “icecream” are correctly spelled.
.
Also, I have taken the sacred vow of Not Judging Twatspeakers For Their Grammar, But Instead For Their Spelling. Praise be to His Noodliness.
.
Ramen
109 - November 25th, 2006 at - Dave Says:
KILL THE PIRATES burn the holy book of the fsm burn the NOODLEY ONE BURN HIM.
â€
â€
110 - November 25th, 2006 at - Dave Says:
Ill eat the damn ramen
111 - November 25th, 2006 at - Mad John Kidd Says:
You are welcome to eat all the pasta you can eat. May you be warmed to the soul by His Noodly Goodness. There’s plenty of Marinara sauce. Help yourself to some garlic bread as well.
RAmen
112 - November 25th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
@Roj Villapardo
“someone who believes that the words “beautyfull†and “icecream†are correctly spelled.”
.
@0nn3
“but even they couldn’t tell me if the gospel was also able to buy in Holland..
Hail The Noodly Master. Ramen”
.
I suggest it’s simply a matter of english not being Onn3’s first language.
RAmen
113 - November 25th, 2006 at - TRIX Says:
If we translate the Gospel into different languages, it’ll sell better. When I get my hands on a copy, I’ll try yo translate into french, but my french isn’t too good.
114 - November 26th, 2006 at - Davey Jones' Hacker Says:
Our Pasta,
Who art in lagane,
Ravioli be thy name,
Thy cavatoli come,
Thy will be done,
With fiori as in heaven
Give us this day our daily Penne,
And lead us not into Rigatoni,
But deliver us from ziti,
For thine is the spaghetti,
The pesto and the tripoline,
Farfallini and filini,
Ramen.
-’Give us this day our daily Penne’-Awwwwww :-} me likey
117 - December 1st, 2006 at - BiNkY Says:
This Is Awsome! I Want A Copy Of The Gosple But My School Won’t Allow Me What Can I Do?
118 - December 1st, 2006 at - Shadows Says:
i would have to first congradulate you on creating such a religion, you have made yourselves just like elrond hubberd (the creator of scientology). It is in fact true that all religion is flawed, your religion is flawed because humans created spaghetti, scientology is plain stupid. Christianity (god made the universe in seven days, yet he wanted the humans to look after all life on one mezely little planet in one mezely little solar system. And the fact that he looks like a human, as well as his son.)
It is difficult for a human to worship something that is not human or not created by human (i am yet to see someone worship another form of animal or a plant.) I actually cannot believe that people do follow this, even so much as to ruin someone’s life which i saw a woman named rebecca write. It is not the purpose of religion to destroy lives of those who do not follow, religion is not worshipping a higher power, it is being guided by that ‘higher power’ to make your world and the world around you better and i must say that FSM is not at all making that connection.
Children need to learn about what they must do in life to make the world greater not learn about strippers and beer volcanoes. Strippers puts men or women into just objects i must admit i do like female strippers and would not mind watching them, however it is wrong. Beer is a creation of humans that damages your body, it is one of the leading causes of seperation between families and they believe it is some stupid sort of disease, people should be learning that they have the power, no that they have to believe in some higher power to make them change.
-Julian
119 - December 3rd, 2006 at - Th0m Says:
Spaghetti wasn’t created by humans, per se, it was created by him working through humans. It is unfortunate that Pastafarianism has allegedly destroyed somebody’s life, but people have been killing and dying in the name of christianity for centuries.
120 - December 3rd, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
“It is not the purpose of religion to destroy lives of those who do not follow, religion is not worshipping a higher power, it is being guided by that ‘higher power’ to make your world and the world around you better and i must say that FSM is not at all making that connection.”
.
Did someone, maybe, miss the whole point of the FSM?
121 - December 7th, 2006 at - D.J. Freak Says:
you folks need to get a life, and possibly some mental help, now if you ask nicely i can offer you the latter, to some extent, i mean come on, how could food create anything? besides full bellies, upset stomaches etc.
122 - December 7th, 2006 at - Cell Says:
I am the most recent convert to the church of the Great Al Dente One.Long have I studied all religions and have laughed and cried as I saw what humans did with their teachings,but no religion has ever captured my heart until now.But in celebration of my new faith yeasterday I decorated the walls with marinara and laid down an offering of sacred parmesan.
All hail the Noodly Creator.
123 - December 8th, 2006 at - Bw Says:
I am new to this site and I’m not sure where else I could post this so I’ll just do it here…. A shirt that says “My god has bigger balls than yours does” with a picture of FSM would make a good addition to the shirts currently out there to support this cause.
124 - December 14th, 2006 at - GueØ Says:
Back in the day, which is to say tomorrow at the earliest or maybe latest (depending on your perspective), but then perspective is what this is all about, isn’t it? Considering there is no time beyond the confines of this existance it is then reasonable to say that time serves us only to keep everything from happening all at once. The fatalism that is thrust upon this dream then is preordained as well. It then remains that the deity of many names and divisions will ultimately call us all back to the eternity from whence we came, on which ever path we can negotiate home. Equilibrium dictates the physics of the soul as well as that of the universe.
125 - December 14th, 2006 at - Mad John Kidd Says:
So which is it then? Are you coming or going?
RAmen
126 - December 14th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
@Cell
‘I decorated the walls with marinara and laid down an offering of sacred parmesan.’
I had to read that twice. Was the marinara that did it. :)
RAmen
.
@GueØ
‘Equilibrium dictates the physics of the soul as well as that of the universe.’
.
OK……hmm? Is this a new research discipline? The Third Element? Last Thursday?
Hale Bopp?
I’m confused….again!
127 - December 14th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
By the way…who is reponsible for dressing the timbers of this galleon? Cracks seem to be appearing and strange things are emanating from them.
128 - December 14th, 2006 at - Peter Popoff Says:
@ GueØ, I was half asleep when I thought the same thing MJK thought?
Are you coming or going? Is this yesterday or today? I myself have problems in this area?
Also, how the hell do you make that way cool Ø thingie? ‘Cause I’d like to know? Ø
Ramen
129 - December 14th, 2006 at - Mad John Kidd Says:
@ Nikkiee
Maybe it’s that time of the month. I’ve been dealing with a barrage of bible thumps on another forum and they are getting as thick as thieves. What could it be…oh yes, they have that special holiday thing coming up. Makes them all indignant…I mean warm and fuzzy inside. So Xrist like.
@ Peter
Glad I’m not the only one who caught that. For awhile there I thought I was sailing aboard a ghost ship.
Ramen
130 - December 14th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
How do you spell ‘que’ Mad John (pronounced ‘kay’… as in Manwel from Faulty Towers)
131 - December 14th, 2006 at - Mad John Kidd Says:
132 - December 14th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
I think ‘what’ is the relevent one here. Wasn’t a bad guess on the spelling! Now if I could just do that with the english words…… ;)
RAmen
133 - December 16th, 2006 at - Robert Says:
It’s about time we enter the educational system. Here’s a trail-blazing vita to consider:
Doctor of Flying Spaghetti Monster Missions And Evangelisms Degree
Course Syllabus
Each FSM rector must reckoned to have communicated with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He must be willing to pledge to his group of followers that he/she has been influenced by the voice and vision of the FSM. As a rector in The Church of FSM, you will allow the FSM to speak to your heart and counsel you about the stresses of life. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will replace all your negative emotions with HIS opposites.
You will learn to teach your flock how to experience the FSM living within and learn to abide in the FSM to the extent that HE abides in our gut knowledge of HIM… especially after a nice pasta meal.
Your message does overlap, somewhat, with existing neo-con religions by learning how to fulfill your financial destiny. You will immerse yourself in The Church Of Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Scripture and find support for the belief that the FSM delights in the prosperity of HIS children. You will learn amazing ways to teach your pastafarians that it is the FSM’s desire for them to lend and not borrow, to be the tail and not the head. Once they’re true believers that the FSM actually interfered with the Carbon-Dating process, you will be easily manage to teach them the nature and purpose of prophetic revelation and its proper function in the Body of FSM. You will soon become a questioning, visionary, psychic, and creative thinker who questions the status quo.
Lastly, the FSM belief surpasses creationism and all ID viewpoints simply because it offers a concrete and reasonable explanation of how everything was created in a nanosecond…and recently! With his slick tentacles and all-knowing nature, he obstructed the attempt, via dim-witted human Carbon-Dating, to place things and events in an orderly sequence throughout time. FSM explains how, better than any other organized religion, that the earth was created in 6 days roughly only 6,000 years ago. It explains why the FSM bible is scientifically accurate in explaining why the earth isn’t billions of years old. True FSM believers realize that dinosaurs did not exist millions of years before man, even though thousands of heretic college textbooks say otherwise. The SFM’s tentacles also makes it easy to see why the mountains, oceans, the true location of the Red Sea crossing, and many other events are no older than 6,000 years. Yes, I cannot fathom teaching ID and creationism in America’s science classes without also teaching the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory…it seems to hold up better. I’m awaiting the second coming of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
134 - December 16th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
RAmen Robert
May His Noodles embrace you always.
135 - December 16th, 2006 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:
The Science Creative Quarterly (Sept-Nov edition)
‘OF PENGUINS AND PASTA’
By Toby Leonard (Evidence for FSM) http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=233
136 - December 23rd, 2006 at - TiJim Says:
I was greatly offended when I found this book in the “Humor” section at Borders. After Holiday, I plan on going back and moving all copies of the book into “Religion” possibly while dressed in pirate gear.
RAmen
137 - December 23rd, 2006 at - Wench Nikky Says:
Good plan TiJim
hahaha
Ramen
138 - December 26th, 2006 at - true beleiver Says:
people should read the sight before posting the noodly appendage is what makes people beleive if you are a pastafarian you hasve been touched by the appendage and if the thing about temp as you call it is against Him and global warming i`ll have you need he changes the results of global temp and more pirates coming from the site could lower the temp too!
smarter than you
Sep 20th, 2006 at 7:37 pm
so yeah someone told me about this book. needless to say shes atheist and was before she read this book. but anyways i want to read it. wth is up with the noodly appendage. please tell meh!
8 smarter than you
Sep 20th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
the temp did slightly fall on tuesday. yall musta done a good job cuz it dropped even more wednesday.
139 - December 26th, 2006 at - true beleiver Says:
umm man was made in christain god image if what your saying is true so we might be made in the image of the FSM and the FSM made the world in one day.
SqrlWthANife
Oct 4th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Saint, it is good to see you have a sense of humor. But as gill said why can’t we laugh and believe? How do you know “GOD†of Christianity isn’t a damned Flying Spaghetti Monster? Maybe we’re the correct ones and your not. Ever think of it that way? (Yay I just ordered my gospel). RAmen.
140 - December 27th, 2006 at - I Beleive! Says:
I got a Barnes and Noble gift card for christmas.
I know what I’m buying.
This is the only book I will ever need.
141 - December 27th, 2006 at - Mad John Kidd Says:
Welcome aboard, matey! May you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendage!
RAmen
MJK
142 - December 29th, 2006 at - TsukinoKage Says:
The Ninja In Us All(NIUA) would formerly like to admit that we are abandoning Bhuddism and joining hands with our Pastafarian brothers. Whoever said Ninja and Pirates cannot be friends? When touched by His Noddley Appendage, anything is possible. May His Noodley Appendage touch you all, and all of us as well.
RAmen.
143 - December 29th, 2006 at - TsukinoKage Says:
And, we of course, regret that we misspelled Noodley*, and will so forth use one of His most gracious inventions, Spell-Check, from now on.
144 - December 29th, 2006 at - Peter Popoff Says:
Welcome aboard matey!
I never knowed a real ninja before, are you guys really invisible?
Ramen
145 - December 29th, 2006 at - Wench Nikky Says:
@TsukinoKage
Welcome to His Noodley embrace, TsukinoKage and the Ninja In Us All(NIUA).
RAmen
.
@Peter Popoff
“are you guys really invisible?”
.
If so Peter, invisibility come in very handy for a pirate.
146 - January 4th, 2007 at - pigboy henderson (watch, second shift) Says:
Arrr, Jules, rest ya head my lad - the strippers (male and female) up in heaven are robots and therefore already objects. I love objects. I have a TV object and I watch it a lot. I really enjoy it and it doesn’t seem to mind at all. My computer object is my second favorite.
Mmmmm, objects. :)
As for beer: I would argue that beer is one of the myriad things in the world that can damage your body. Along with cars, cigarettes, oxygen, and the ubiquitous forward movement of time itself it seems that simply living is the most damaging thing for your body.
It sure seems to kills a lot of people.
And the reason families break up is that they get narky with each other after a while. Gee, I know heaps of divorcees who are not alcoholics. They’re just unlucky/adventurous/aware of the terrible waste of time getting increasingly bored with the one person is.
There are a lot of so-called diseases. People used to think homosexuality was one - many people still do. But a doctor didn’t tell them about it - a priest did. So much for sourcing your material, eh? Is it surprising that psychiatry decided that the set of awful life hassles and the almost inevitable mental disruption caused by excessive alcohol consumption could be something they could treat (read: drum up clients)? Maybe it’s better treated as a disease despite the fact it is more often a choice. What psychological pain that leads one to drink irresponsibly is a better focus. Get rid of the pain and the numbing behaviour begins to vanish? It’s a thought.
We could say something similar about the god neurosis - disease or choice. What underlies the choice? What are the conditions and perspectives of the “afflicted”?
On the other hand, meh! We have FSM and all his noodly goodnesses.
Let the heathen boil themselves dry and let their sauces become hard and kinda yukky and saltyish with half the meat forming a horrid solid mass at the bottom of the saucepan.
We watched the pot; we added the dessert spoon of brown sugar to counteract the acidity of the tomatoes; we went halfway across town to find prosciutto and we picked the fresh herbs…
One day, they will smell what we’re talking about. And then they shall come.
RAmen.
pigboy henderson ;) - get some pork on ya fork!
147 - January 7th, 2007 at - monkeywrenchof"evolution" Says:
this is really boggus and attempting to place Christianity on the same level is extremely shameless as well as disrespectful(to Christianity not the fiction you just made up within the past few years). so far i have not seen any evidence for your proposition of a FSM. opinions do not equal evidence.
148 - January 7th, 2007 at - Booty Says:
Our point exactly - well done - give yourself a gold star!
Now go and read what evidence there is for evolution versus what evidence there isn’t for intelligent design.
Enjoy!
149 - January 7th, 2007 at - Peter Popoff Says:
Thanks for that, Militant Atheist.
Don’t worry, we won’t pray for you.
150 - January 7th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
@monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm RE:
so far i have not seen any evidence
You obviously haven’t read the open letter.
We’ve got graphs and everything and Bobby has loads more evidence that he hasn’t released yet because the world isn’t ready to understand it all yet.
I haven’t read the bible, but I do know it hasn’t even got any pie charts in it!
I mean how are you going to covince people of things without some graphs and pie charts?
Loads of evidence (and common sense) contradicts the Bible.
Although some evidence contradicts our Gospel those sections were inserted to test us and when you find one you are being touched by his noodley appendage.
So if you find any mistakes that only goes to prove that he exists.
Go figure on that Man-Nailed-To-A-Cross-A-Bit-Harsh-But-He-Did-Go-On-A-Bit-I-This-Seriously-Holier-Than-Thou-Tone-That-Really-Got-On-Our-Nerves-If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-BOY.
RAmen
151 - January 8th, 2007 at - anonymous Says:
yarg, ye who hath called question to the most holy and noodly one’s devine existance are right to question and think with the mass of brain so kindly given to ye…but before so doing, be not so fool harty and self assumedly correct as ye may be much mistaken, and should the case be as such, thy sauces will be bitter, thy meatballs hard, beer flat, and your stripper bots malfunctioned. You might also be turned into a penguin and put on antartica.
You, most silly monkeywrenchof”evolution” seem to think just because christianity is old and pastafaranism is young that the prior is correct and the latter wrong. Well, old people are old but they are often wrong, and young people can be right, so your logic holds no sauce. May ye be touched by his noodly appendage, ramen!
152 - January 8th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
@monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm The FSM has been around scince the dawn of time, it’s Christianity that’s the fiction just made up within the past few years
.
“o far i have not seen any evidence for your proposition of a FSM” So where is this evidence for christanity prey tell?
153 - January 8th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
You don’t even have a graph!
154 - January 8th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
No graph!
No graph!
You haven’t got a graph!
Oh, hang on whats this a graph showing that Mary was a virgin? NO! I WAS WRONG! BECAUSE THERE’S NO SUCH THING.
You haven’t got a graph.
Bobby’s graph is really nice and you’ve not got one.
Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar!
And if you make one up now we’ll know you’ve faked it and that would just be copying.
So face it you haven’t got a graph and you’re not going to get one.
You’re rubbish!
Come over the the CoFSM before all your friends do and laugh at you for not having a graph.
RAmen.
155 - January 8th, 2007 at - Wench Nikky Says:
monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
“attempting to place Christianity on the same level is extremely shameless as well as disrespectful”
I agree monkey. Placing a religion, which worships an imaginary being (1 or 3?), on the same level as the worship of Our Noodley Lord is indeed shameless and disrespectful.
The FSM has always been and as a religion is much, much older than xtianity.
We do thank the xtians for contributing to the paving of the way for tolerance of all religions. See you at school. :) :)
RAmen
ps I never understand why xtians assume they deserve more respect than others just because their beliefs/cults are more far fetched!
156 - January 8th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
I’ve even had non-xtians criticise me for not showing the superstition respect (I can’t remember what I did, I was probably drunk)
.
I’ll show it respect once I deem it worthy.
157 - January 8th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
Does anyone know if the FSM actually has exactly two meatballs or if thats just the classical depication?
158 - January 8th, 2007 at - Teh Pirate Fish Says:
“Does anyone know if the FSM actually has exactly two meatballs or if thats just the classical depication?”
.
Since He usaully shrouds himself from mankind, He may have more
159 - January 9th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
Teh Pirate Fish,
It would be really embarassing if we were as daft as the Xians and took artistic representations as literally accurate.
He might have more of fewer noodles, sauce or meat-balls, perhaps we don’t know.
160 - January 9th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
appears to have dealt that Monkey Wrench a compelling argument.
There’s no come back from that and do you know why?
161 - January 9th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
his meatballs may be everywhere, as he is omnipotent.
162 - January 9th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
No Beastly, although that is true it is not the reason that they have haven’t come back.
Do you want to try again?
163 - January 9th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
I was speaking about Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 8th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
.
I suspect they haven’t come back is because they’re still looking for the graph.
.
AND THEY WON’T COME BACK BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO GRAPH!!!!!!!
164 - January 9th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
YEAH! Come back when you’ve found the graphs in the bible!
i.e. NEVER!
165 - January 13th, 2007 at - C Says:
if any of you are honestly serious, may God help you.
166 - January 14th, 2007 at - Jingles Says:
He already has… in his noodely wisdom, he showed us the true faith.
.
RAmen and pass the parmesan!
167 - January 14th, 2007 at - Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Says:
C,
We are absolutely serious.
It is far more likely that the world was made by the flying spaghetti monster (long may his noodles extend) in around 2 seconds than by God in 7 days.
The world is far more consistent with the FSM model than Christian doctrine.
You only have to look around to see God can’t be as on the ball as most Christians would have us believe. Daniel (in these threads, not the Bible guy) chooses to ignore the manifest faults with the Christian story.
We might have flimsy moral standards but we’ve got too much intellectual integrity to hold such a flimsy position.
168 - January 14th, 2007 at - Beastly Rich Says:
Oh I’m 100% totally and utterly serious and sincere in my beliefs and the flying spaghetti monster helps me all the time!
169 - January 18th, 2007 at - Bob from England Says:
From a Pastafarian in Britain (that’s the little country thats government is stupid enough to support Bush over Iraq) where the FSM’s influence is badly needed.
“Come over to Macedonia and help us†Acts of the Apostles Chap 16, verse 9:
first recorded excuse for American Military Intervention (circa 60 Al Dente)
There are a large number of Pirates still living in Cornwall (which is the extreme South Western tip of Britain); however they are heretic Pirates because a) they are not really Pirates but the descendents of “wreckers†which is a land based form of Piracy involving luring ships on to rocks and plundering their cargoes which isn’t at all FSMist as people got killed and b) they can’t spell Pasta. The local dish is called a “Pastyâ€; this is clearly the result of someone who couldn’t read too well and anyway the local people had probably never heard of Pasta because most of the men were either away at sea fishing or working down the tin mines whilst their wives stayed at home making the Pasty (or committing adultery with the men who had the good sense not to go off to sea or down the mines).
Also the ones who call themselves Pirates these days are the supporters of the local Rugby team. (Rugby is like American football but played by people whose IQ is in three figures and who slap each other manfully on the back when they score a touchdown rather than jumping around dementedly in the end zone as if they’d got a scorpion down their pants and pointing at a non-existent being in the sky or kneeling down and touching their faces and shoulders just to see whether the players on defense have managed to pull any of their limbs off).
Incidentally these so-called Pirates aren’t even descended from the Wreckers on the whole but are rich city types who’ve downsized into the country where there’s less crime, noise, pollution etc, consequently driving up real estate prices so that the local people have had to move to the cities where there is more crime, noise, pollution etc. Ah, the joys of the free market economy!!
Anyway these heretics badly need to be touched by His Noodley Appendage and brought back to true understanding.
The book is something more than worth noting. I believe it to be so thought provoking that I intend to bring it along with me to a local music venue tonight, the Underground Cafe. (underground-cafe.com) You’d be amazed at how little the word has spread amongst these impressionable youths. They’ll be touched soon enough…by His Noodley Appendage.
Ramen
all hail his holyness
all hail his holyness HAZA
…twenty conversions later…
Ramen!
All hail his noodliness!!
so yeah someone told me about this book. needless to say shes atheist and was before she read this book. but anyways i want to read it. wth is up with the noodly appendage. please tell meh!
the temp did slightly fall on tuesday. yall musta done a good job cuz it dropped even more wednesday.
All hail his great noodliness.
I bought this book and fell in love with it i plan on converting as many people as i can with it.
Ramen!!
one true follower…. did u forget one of the 8 i really rather u didnts…… ur not supposed to force the views on to others… its the first of the eight… so next time please actually read and understand the book…….. thank you…. and of course
RAmen
Today, for the first time, I read more than the letter and went out to the local bookstore. I thoroughly appreciated the content, but was disappointed by the presentation. I pray for a fine leatherette edition and would happily buy four or five if priced at $20 to $25 each.
RAmen
FSM is the best thing that has recently been introduced into my life. =)
I was just wondering, is it buyable in european bookshops? I would very much want one the “easy but physical way” (go to the store).
FSM is the best thing since the cheese shredder, and cheese shredders are awesome. Better up, FSM is better than cheese shredders, which explains alot.
Is this even a real religion?
Yes, it is.
Ramen.
….ur serious?
It’s as real as Christianity. That’s the point.
Well, that’s one of the points, anyway.
average agnostic
Sep 21st, 2006 at 5:49 pm
one true follower…. did u forget one of the 8 i really rather u didnts…… ur not supposed to force the views on to others… its the first of the eight… so next time please actually read and understand the book…….. thank you…. and of course
RAmen
yes i did read it i said i was gunna convert them not force them i will simply show them and tell them about the FSM and let them decide ive done this to a few ppl and convered 6 already
Ramen
hmmm, i have one question about this heaven…
how do the stripper factories work? I mean, do they take catholic-school girls and give them a quick dance course, do they stamp em out of a mold or are they just latex coated stripperbots?
I’ve had a revelaton regarding the stripper factories Aussie. It came to me in a dream last night (after a heavy supper of angel hair and Swedish). Basically, it breaks down like this. Initially, the noodly one reserved the strippers from the factories for martyrs - that is pirates who perished at sea in storms, or ate too much pasta and sank. However, after a day at the beer volcanoes, one particularly belligerent non-matyr got horny, and organized a protest. This culminated in the “Great stripper fight of 1597″, during which the FSM appeared personally and said “OK. It was pretty dumb to try to keep the stippers for an elite, but lets face it, if you’re going to be in a heaven designed and run by carbohydrate dominated food, then you get what you deserve. But OK, you can all have the strippers”. But of course, there were not enough to go around, and so robots are indeed used now - but really top ones, like the robot chicks in the old movie “Westworld”.
RAmen.
eyyyyyyy
.
now, if all the religions could solve their problems like that, the world would be a better place.
RAmen
I’m getting my copy next week. Can’t wait!
As much as I want to become a Pastafarian I can’t bring myself to do it until I know more about it. Lets hope the gospel meets my needs :P
I hope people aren’t seriously following this religion. I’m a devoted Christian, and I appreciate this as humor, but if people are honestly believing it, it needs to stop.
It’s not real.
It’s a funny joke.
A really funny joke.
So laugh.
Don’t believe.
Tell me, Saint: who exactly are you to decide what is ‘real’ religion-wise or not? Or for that matter, what one should believe in or not? (and why can’t one both laugh AND believe?)
I am waiting for a translation of the Book in german language.
Where can I get this in Canada?
Saint, it is good to see you have a sense of humor. But as gill said why can’t we laugh and believe? How do you know “GOD” of Christianity isn’t a damned Flying Spaghetti Monster? Maybe we’re the correct ones and your not. Ever think of it that way? (Yay I just ordered my gospel). RAmen.
just ordered my copy… although i already am a true believer, this is a must-have.
ALL HAIL HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!!!!
ramen
Saint, it’s real alright. I have finally found, after years of searching and then ultimately giving up, an organization in which I wholly belong. Call that crazy, but if there was an actual building with actual services to practice Pastafarianism, I would be there religiously. This would be especially true if, as a follower of the FSM, I could take every Friday off for religious observance. What does “real” mean, anyway? In my reality, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. Is Scientology real? Whether or not the tenets of the “religion” are real, Scientology clearly exists. That is not to say that I think FSMism and Scientology are equal. They are, to be sure, equally absurd, but at least FSMism is benign and up front about all its beliefs and practices. All this aside, if I walk away from my computer having laughed, especially at myself, that is more benefit than I have ever derived from other belief systems. Unitarian Universalism came very, very close, but I just can’t get it together to actually go to church once a week. That is most definitely not a slam against the UU Church, by the way. The UU Church has my full respect and admiration.
finally i got the gospel!(hope that pirate ship gets finished soon…)
Saint, (and other Christians)
As an ex-protestant, ex-Atheist, ex-born-again-Christian Agnostic, I found Christianity and ID to be as unlikely as FSMism (when I first found this site).
After hearing Richard Dawkins’s interview and reading the connections with string theory and chaos, my new position on the matter is that FSMism is far MORE likely than Christianity.
Quite frankly, a theory devised by a Ph.D.-educated Physicist is far more appealing than one passed on by a church with a history of criminal behaviour and self-regulated censorship in a 3000-year-old game of Chinese Whispers.
Most of the stories in the Christian Gospels, imagery used by the church, and even public holidays were stolen from Egyptian and Pagan religions that predated Christianity in an effort by the early church to convert “heathens”.
Even the book of Revelations has now been exposed as Anti-Roman POLITICAL propaganda (the “beast” in question being in fact a Roman Governor) as oppose to a religious text, and the recent discovery of the Gospel According To Judas sheds a very different light on the events surrounding the death of Jesus.
Having felt “the Holy Spirit” myself when I was young, lost and impressionable, then feeling the same feeling again the first time I played live (as a musician of the non-religious variety), I can with all honestly say that I was deluded into thinking that it was the Holy Spirit by the pressure of the churchgoers around me at the time, whereas what I actually experienced was nothing more than an adrenaolin rush brought about by the thought of everything I had ever worried about being meaningless if being watched over by a parental God figure, and the selfish desire for the promise of eternal life after death.
I now feel a deep sympathy for others who become deluded in the same way that I did, people who are scared and looking for reason in life.
When it comes down to it, there really is little point to life other than to experience it in all its glory and spread happiness and the truth wherever possible.
Admittedly, once one decides in one’s own mind to reject the fallacy of God, the world indeed becomes a scary and lonely place, but one of truth not delusion.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”
To Saint:
Actually, I could say the exact same thing you said only about Christianity. Is it a joke?
If it is all the joke of some non pasta-based god, he must have a rather crude sense of humour…
***BREAKING NEWS***
God manifests in Jerusalem
.
His first words;
” Pull my finger!”
.
In other news, gale force winds destroy middle east
I knew it! I just knew Benevolent Flatulence would be a part of this whole thing. Hey, there’s another good name for a bnad… Benevolent Flatulence. Alright, maybe it’s not a good name for a band. It’s a good name for something, though. I’m sure of it.
YarrFysh, you are eloquent. You summarized my feelings completely. Thank you. Christian(s) and all, take heed, and leave informed.
First of all, I would just like to say that I love this whole Idea. It’s both funny and functional. I myself am an agnostic. I come from a very strong christian background, but I had an “awakening”. What I do believe though, is that people can do more than we give ourselves credit for. That is exactly why I don’t believe in “bashing” anyone else’s religion. If you are a christian and it works for you, stick with it. I can’t help but think about the movie “The Matrix”, if I were given the option; I would have stayed in the Matrix. I have unfortunately seen the truth, but I won’t do anything to haul other people out of the Matrix. On the flipside, trying to force people into the Matrix is way worse.
I guess in the end of the day, it all depends on whether you prefer truth or a sense of “purposeâ€.
Back to the topic, I’ll need to scout around South Africa to find a bookstore that will be able to source “The Gospel†for me. I can’t wait to read it though, I guess it will just have to replace my copy of “Leadership†by Rudolf Giuliani, as my new coffee table book.
In closing, it is great to see that there are other like minded people out there.
Fellow Pastaferians
May His Noodly Appendage be with you all. I sit before you here to tell you that the growth of New-Age Pirates (NAPs)is grately pleasing His Noodly Grace. The growth of Torrent users, LimeWire Spamers, and Informaion Hackers is pleasing him. The fact that with a mouse click you can download $5,000+ worth of merchandise (such as MCSE certification classes, Recenty release Movies, Anime, Music, etc.) is stimulating his balls. So we can hope for a great temperature decrease in the near future, and we will not stop until it snows in iraq.
genuis
*genius
I haven’t read the book; and I haven’t seen it in any hotels yet either. Does the FSM offer life after death? That is the main thing I am looking for. I will have to admit that I used to have religion that offered that, but it was to unbelievable. After all, what God would give a person such a marvelous brain, then ask you not to use it.
I live in Oregon (USA), the Goll Darn greatest state in the union. It is also fretfully the least churched state, but hopefully that could change with this new FSM scripture being realized and written here.
Does anybody want to start a FSM Church here in Oregon? Maybe we could find an old un-used church complete with the Michaelangelo(speeling?) painting with his nOOdleyness!! I here the tax breaks are fantastic. We could have spaghetti feeds and have a faith based program for getting say math users and alcoholics of those nasty drugs.
RAmen
Markus,
.
I admire your enthusiasm. You really should get a copy of the Gospel, or The Word as I like to call it. It will anser many of your questions.
.
Is there a FSM heaven? Yes. It has a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
.
Does anyone want to build a church? As outlined in his “I Really Wish You Wouldn’ts”, the FSM would prefer we not spend money on building churches/temples to His Noodly Greatness when that money could be better spent feeding the starving, housing the homeless, or improving the quality of American made beer (OK, I added that last one).
.
RAmen
Markus you should take heed of OneEyedJack (a fine piratical title to be sure), having plundered a copy of the Gospel (or The Word) or as it referred to here The Treasure Chest of Wisdom. I cannot recommend it highly enough, a fine tome for perusal between voyages.
.
As further evidence of his noodly love and constant attention to our needs i believe the FSM has already heeded Jacks pleas and improved American beer, you can plunder it easily, it’s being called British Beer and there are many varities, all may be correctly termed Grog, although most are somewhat darker and stronger than the beer plundered elswhere and have a long track record of sustaining pirates on long voyages…
.
may ye plundering be bountiful and ye wenches buxom
RAmen
I don’t know about building an actual church. How about renting an abandoned drive-in theater? Or, we could converge on the Pirates of the Carribean ride at Disney World, and we could all astrally project ourselves there at the same time. Hmmm…. I’ll have to think more about that one. If spending time online at this website constitutes as attending church, I’ve been more of a churchgoer over the past month than I have in my entire life up to now. I’ve been redeemed and saved by the blessed touch of his noodly appendage! Even though I’m a good SaucyWench, though, I don’t really speak Pirate well. I guess that’s the next step in my conversion to complete wenchhood.
His teaching have left me in doubt of my place in the eternal universe for I am a reformed sinner! Can I hope to enter His kingdom when I die for I have done much to offend Him.
I grew up catholic, I served in the Coast Guard (which hunts pirates), I don’t really like beer.
On the plus side, I DID marry a stripper. Does that count for anything?
Wow, Duneman… a pirate hunter. That is really unfortunate. Of course, pirates couldn’t be pirates without someone to chase them, could they? I offer that pirate hunters are also part of his Noodly Design.
.
I wouldn’t worry too much about Heaven. You said you don’t like beer and already have your own stripper. Sounds like you’re set.
.
Pull up a chair and have some pasta.
.
RAmen.
Ok…thats Really degrading and all. I’m a guy…but still, how do women expierince your “heaven.” Not everyone just wants to get some. (Not that I’m among them!) I also don’t get how pirates fit in.
Nor do I believe this is a true religion, just a played out joke. Please help me understand your “noodly” ways.
This Person.
BTW…I’ve actually read more about your religion. You know…some of it makes sense. Amazing what just 5 minuets of reading can do. BUT STILL…please explain the slighty sexist in my opinion “heaven.”
I do belive most of your religion makes sense. Heck, I might go get this “Gospel of the Flying Spaggheti (spelling?) Monster.”
A Changed Someone.
Actually, Someone, as a girl I’m cool with the stripper factory concept. (The major reason for that is, there are male strippers involved. Male strippers=happy me)
ohhhh…wow. Hem…if your Gospel didn’t have so much language in it…I would buy it. I think his noodly appendage has graced me. I think you guys (and gals) are right, Christianity has a creator but we have no obvious proof of him…and hes just a little (sarcastiacally) selfish. He wants me to be perfect…but then lets me sin??? WTF?!
Noodly ways are SOOOO much better.
-Another One Touched By His Noodly Appendage-
(My parents probaly won’t let me get it…I’m only 13 *tear*)
Whilst it is probably right to do what your parents (the masters of the homely ship) say up to a point, do not be downhearted, firstly you’ve found your way here - and we’ll raise a toast to that with some grog, and secondly you’ve got the gospel to look forward to.
.
plus, there’s just as much silliness here as in the gospel
Shouldn’t that be “Grog Lite” for the 13-year-olds, spider?
.
Shiver me parrot, matey!
I don’t know how I should tell my family I believe that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created us all and that heaven has a beer valcanoes and a stripper factory. They are mostly Christians and will probaly be upset that I have been converted to Pastafainism.
Not like I really care what they think. *Laughter*
@wwfsmd at least you are thinking now. Keep thinking and asking questions. Always ask questions and find out the truth for yourself.
Theres now a rapidly accumulating theology, and I was wanting to compare notes.
The Purple Oyster (of Doom) is a renegade meatball responsible for all the evil in the world, who has refused to accept His status as a meatball (though he was meatier than the rest).
The FSM forms a Divine Binity with the Invisable Pink Unicorn - the FSM grew out of one of His own appendages when the IPU stepped on it (the IPU could not previously be sure of its existance, because non-existance is part of its essence, so in fact She still isn’t sure, but the FSM is good evidence).
The spot where that happened is marked by the Sub Orbital Teapot; whose spout represents the FSM, whose lid respresents the hoof of the IPU, the tea the tomato sauce and the teabags the meatballs. Everything in the universe orbits that point, in orbits which can only be described as, noodly. All this of course just supports the virtue in dedicating oneself to the tea-drinking pirate lifestyle.
Should anyone doubt the existence of the FSM, imagine the most noodly thing you can - a real thing is more noodly than one which doesn’t exist. We call that none-can-be-more noodly-than, the FSM.
Renegade theologians are out there.. pasta be upon Him..
If you’re a Christian reading this page, don’t be daunted. Just because pretty much no one here believes in the Christian God doesn’t mean He’s not real. I’m not gonna be presumptuous and pretend I know the real truth, but it really doesn’t matter if God’s real, as long as you believe in Him. The difference between believing in Christianity and Pastafarianism is that with Christianity you can be guaranteed a happy life. It’s possible that we’re both wrong, but who really cares? No one can say they honestly know the truth by evidence, but if you have faith and believe anyway, it’s not too important what credentials you have.
I read YarrFysh’ post and it kinda pissed me off. I’m not even too strong a Christian, I’m still exploring religions, I lean towards Christianity because I have no reason not to. The only thing I know for sure is that there’s something out there that we don’t understand, because our logic defies itself at times. But when someone like YarrFysh claims to know for sure that God doesn’t exist and that spurning God leads to truth, he’s only asking for bad things. For one thing he may be taking the wrong path, there’s really no telling, but when he doesn’t even know for sure then it pisses me off that he would try to lead others to follow him. If God is real, which is possible, then he’s pretty much burning his bridges, and if God isn’t, then it really doesn’t hurt him to not say anything, so why not shut the hell up. You’re not leading anyone to happiness or “truth” or anything at all, really, until you can say for sure that you know the full truth and exactly why everything is the way it is and back it with undeniable evidence. It’s pretty much proven that you can’t, so you might as well stfu.
and btw, praise his noodly goodness
RAmen.
Hey Christian,
What makes you happy is not the same thing that makes Pastafarians happy. For you, doing good deeds and being at peace with yourself makes you happy. Pastafarians delight in mocking things they don’t understand or don’t believe. They are happy to get together and mock any Christians who try to get a word in.
thats not really true about me, but i geuss its pretty close, so whatever. The thing about being delighted by things like that is that the joys are pretty fickle and really won’t last forever. I’m not gonna try to convert you, that’s not really my place if you don’t want to be converted, but with a Christian life you’re pretty much always happy. The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin. That’s just how it works, don’t worry about it. Pastafarians (and it’s pretty funny to call them that, they’re really just nonreligious people acting out a joke) (and it’s a good joke, btw, I agree with the ignorance-free parts of it’s message and I respect it’s comedy) really don’t end up with a happy lifestyle. They just end up giving into temptation and not feeling bad about it because they decide not to believe it’s bad. Pretty much everyone has the desire to do that, and the reason people like this “religion” so much is because it allows them to do so. If there was a religion out there that just told you to go around and do whatever you want, then people would join it. It’s a weakness. Go for it. Have a good time. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts. But don’t lead others to follow you if they don’t understand what’s going on. It’s just not nice to them.
And prais his noodly goodness.
RAmen
faghettini,
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Please speak for yourself. You do not speak for all Pastafarians.
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OEJ
LONG POST. REGULAR READERS WILL ALREADY HAVE HEARD ALL THESE ARGUMENTS. THEY’RE REPEATED FOR THE BENEFIT OF CHRISTIAN (NO REALLY THAT’S MY NAME)
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Christian (NRTMN),
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Like One Eyed Jack, I’d like to point out that we’re not all here because we just like mocking things we don’t understand. We’re also not here purely for the comedy value.
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The FSM is both comedy and mockery (of a sort) but with a very serious and sensible purpose. It’s a satirical argument that points out the total inadequacy of ‘evidence’ for any theistic religion.
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This sort of attack wouldn’t be necessary if people didn’t do all kinds of serious things based on their theistic beliefs. The FSM site was motivated by dangerous attempts to subvert science teaching, but we don’t have to look far to find other examples all over the world every day.
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You seem to have your heart in the right place in so far as that religion seems to you to be about achieving a happy life. You’re also admirably adverse to indoctrinating us peaceful Pastafarians. Where you worry me is where you start talking about sin.
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Sin is doing things that your god of choice has told you not to. You say ‘The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin.’ Here you scare me.
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When I used believe in the Christian god, I reaped great psychological rewards of happiness when I could assure myself that I was doing his will, and suffered bouts of guilt when I told myself that I had sinned against him. This isn’t mysterious or supernatural. Today, I feel guilty for being rude, for accidentally breaking someone’s expensive ornament or even for breaking the law in a way that will harm no one (like driving in a bus lane when there’s no traffic). I feel good if I buy someone a present, give my time up to help someone with a boring job, or manage to make someone smile. God is not necessary for any of this.
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What worries me about your god-given ethics is the very fact that they are god-given, instead of proceeding from paying attention to the people around you. Depending on who your god is, he might cause you to object to people’s sexuality, to treat one sex as inferior to another, to demand the wearing of certain clothes, to mutilate children’s genitals, to impose the death penalty on a cartoonist, to withhold contraception from poverty-stricken families unable to cope with all their children or to make war on people with other gods. This is where we have a right to object to your claim that ‘if you have faith and believe anyway, it’s not too important what credentials you have.’ Were you to attempt to do any of the above things to me, I would be very keen to see some credentials.
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Pastafarians – and atheists – can be just as happy as you. They get their happiness from doing things that will actually benefit other people. They get guilt from doing things that benefit themselves at the cost of others.
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Doesn’t this seem fairer, more sensible and more satisfying than deriving happiness or guilt from following laws passed down from dubious sources, based on the presumed will of an unprovable god?
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From the perspective of an outsider who will be affected by your actions, I am certain that I’d rather know that your morality is based on being nice to me rather than on following instructions from an invisible authority figure. In fact, given what some people’s invisible authority figures have managed to get them to do, I am inclined to feel that taking orders from one should be illegal.
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In the course of my life so far, and in spite of some time as a serious and sincere Christian, I have yet to actually spot god anywhere. I have, on the other hand, seen a lot of people. I think they have the greater claim on my love and care.
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LONG POST OVER
Very eloquent, J. I totally agree!
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And I must respectfully disagree with the assertion that Christianity leads to a happy life. I find this to be circular reasoning: If you’re a devout Christian, you should be happy to live within God’s laws, and if you’re unhappy with them, then you’re a bad Christian. This reasoning excludes any unhappy Christians by denying them a place within the group. This seems unfair and biased.
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This also seems to state that if only everyone would be a good Christian, we would all be happy! This seems very unlikely to me. Life is hard and bad things happen… and althought I reluctantly admire people who are not upset by anything, I also wonder about their mental health.
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Now I must go commune with my god… the water’s boiling!
“Pastafarians delight in mocking things they don’t understand or don’t believe. They are happy to get together and mock any Christians who try to get a word in.”–excuse-moi, I don’t consider myself so annoying. Stop generalizing already, yeesh.
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“with a Christian life you’re pretty much always happy. The only times you won’t be happy is when you forget your Christian ways and turn back to sin.”–as has been said, being Christian is NOT the only way to be happy, nor is it a guarentee of happiness. I’m not Christian and yet am enjoying my life. Plenty of Christians have decided they were NOT happy and switched religions (as has happened in every faith.) And this sin buissnes…..it’s so black and white, it bothers me. ‘Do this and you’re ok, do that and you’re sinning’. I dunno, seems to me like different circumstances would allow the lines to blur a bit, no?
“–excuse-moi, I don’t consider myself so annoying. Stop generalizing already, yeesh.”
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Pastafarianism IS a mockery of Christianity. That much is clear. Anyone who says it isn’t is just starting an argument for its own sake. By identifying with it, you are mocking.
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I agree that Christianity is not the only way to a happy life, and Christianity doesn’t guarantee a happy life. Where I disagree is that sin should not be black and white. Anyone who says they know precisely what God’s wishes are about abortion and stem cell research and is strong enough in his/her convictions to try to make those notions into laws is a hypocrite. God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail.
“Pastafarianism IS a mockery of Christianity.”–It’s a mockery of all religions, actually, including my own; Christianity is the religion most identify ID with, so it’s kinda the bases of the site, but I’m sure if Muslims were trying to teach ID in school this site’d use them instead. It’s really a mockery of *god* if you want to look at it that way. I identify with it because its cause–against the teaching of ID in science–is one I support. If the site gets its point across by mocking, so be it, but I myself don’t support it because it mocks. I support it ’cause I agree with its point.
Plus it’s really funny. Anyone who can’t laugh at themselves once in a while needs to loosen up.
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“God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail. “–Agreed. That’s why I have issues with people who use the bible/god as the basis for their claims. I might use my religious beliefs as a *factor*, but if the evidence is pointing in another direction then it’d be stupid of me to ignore it. In terms of sin being black and white, I’ll use abortion: religiously, it’s a sin. Point blank, it’s a sin, no ifs ands or buts. However, I support abortion if a woman’s been raped, is in danger health-wise, so on so forth, but not if the day before the baby’s due she decides to get rid of it. Basically, there’s *always* grey areas, so just saying right-out, ‘this is wrong’, seems off to me.
@faghettini:
“God, by definition, cannot be analyzed down to that kind of detail.”
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Hint: if it ain’t there, it’s pretty resistant to analysis.
@Davey:
“Hint: if it ain’t there, it’s pretty resistant to analysis.”
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That is precisely the kind of input that this discussion doesn’t need any more of.
“That is precisely the kind of input that this discussion doesn’t need any more of.”
Why would you post to this website if you can’t cope with a discussion that the Christian God doesn’t exist?
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Oh, and by the way, “faghettini” is an interesting choice of names. Is this meant to incite?
I also agree that ID should be left out of Science class, and indeed school altogether, unless the class is called “Studies in Religion”, or something to that effect. It should not be masqueraded as anything other than what it is. It is just a knee-jerk reaction to the Theory of Evolution, and most of it’s supporters haven’t thought it through. There is nothing to teach in ID. We can point out all the improbable coincidences and wonder at how fortunate we are that it all worked out so well, but we can’t legitimately make the leap to saying conclusively that God did it. Especially not in science class.
This site started out in opposition to teaching ID in school, but then quickly evolved into a forum for Christian-bashing. But that is the internet, and that is free speech. There is no IQ requirement to get on the internet.
I think gill’s views on abortion are pretty sound. In some cases it is right, but relying on it as another layer of birth control is a problem.
Marcus, I fully agree. Why would faghettini say that Davey’s comment is not needed in the discussion? It is precisely the kind of comment that is needed, and this forum is precisely the place for it to be said.
RAmen
Hey Marcus, if you read through every “faghettini” post on this site, you will notice that I never once said that God exists. Coping with it is not the issue. Davey’s post wasn’t discussion. It was sidebar.
As for the name, there is nothing on this page that isn’t meant to incite. I think it fits right in.
Hey, I’m “sidebar”!
Cool!
(I think)
Thanks One Eyed, I knew I’d find solace in the company of my fellow believers.
Those that think being a stripper is degrading to a woman should have tagged along when my wife was making her daily deposits in the bank. I think the “victims” here are the ones that went home alone with empty wallets! And she’s looking forward to the male strippers same as Gill!
Duneman
Does your wife sleep well at night knowing that the only thing she is good for in this world is getting nekked so that lonely men can have a look at her? Is she satisfied that she has lived up to her full potential and contributed all she had to make the world a better place?
I’d really like to own a nice leather bound, gold inmprinted hard cover copy with a bookmark ribbon as shown on the cover of this rather cheap looking paperback. His divine teachings are in my humble opinion too valuable to be printed on this greyish recycled toiletpaperlike material. May the publisher soon be touched by His Noodly Appendage!
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME? i want to spread the word and i would love a pamphlet depicting Tim DuBay’s Guide to Pastafarianism, it would probably be the best. i am incredably busy but if i have to i will but it might take me a while. i do own a copy of the gospel but when i found out that it was ok for christians to pass out pamphlets on my college campus i knew this was a sign from the all mighty fsm that i must make small black & white pamphlets so that i might hand them out along side the christians. i would appreciate anyone willing to help. thank you
mark
bloodclot36o@aim.com
(errr…well maybe his wife likes to get naked and enjoys the fact that she is able to make people happy?) just a thought
RAMEN!!!!
faghettini, I don’t think you’re in any position to cast judgement upon Duneman’s wife’s profession. And I know you’re likely to come back with ‘I wasn’t judging her merely posing questions,’ but you had a decidedly judgemental tone and insinuated that was her only use. Just as with religion no-one has any right to enforce their beliefs upon someone else and therefore you have no right to say the way somebody lives is right or wrong in this respect. So my advice would be to keep your quips to yourself next time.
And on a more topical note, I’d just like to say I’ve loved reading through everything on the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I’m definately now a Pastafarian convert.
RAmen.
@wwfsmd?
One word - library. Just go check it out instead of buying it or getting your parents to buy it.
i’ll think about it. lol. well…libraries always want money when i go to see them cuz the books are overdue. so i’ve grown not to like libraries, i know “that’s just being lazy” well w/e i’ll just be lazy then!
:P
I like it , I like it , I like it , beer , spagettis , wine , stroppers
RAmeeeeennnnnn.
even i like pirates (not very very , but i like it)
Note I have yet to read the good book, so correct me as brutally as you want it twill not dissaffect me.
The problem i have with chrstianity in all of its form is this.
Ask forgivness and you are forgiven.
Confess and your path to heaven is secured.
I see many flaws moraly in that, i that is true i personally dont belibve it is then Ted Bundy a man who murdered and raped over one hundred women can easily acces paradise?.
And now for a deep question why would any creater be it a pasta god or a christian titan allow so much pain and suffering in the world, no one likes seeing children starve. So i ask both ye faiths where are your gods for the people that never have a chance?
Answer me these question if at all possible,
Questioner,
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All good questions if you believe that the creator of the universe has a vested interest in us. Something which many religions profess. We are egotistical beings. We are convinced we matter. We want to feel we matter.
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Consider this. How much do you care about the fate of an ant, a gnat, or a bacterium? Would you intervene to save an ant, a gnat, or a bacterium? We assume that a divine creator would have a vested interest in us. How can we possibly know the mind of such a being? Why should this creator care what happens to an ant, a gnat, a bacterium, or us? Relatively speaking we are down there with the bacteria.
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The FSM does not send people to hell. There is no true Pastafarian hell. It’s more like sitting in the smoky part of the bar, with a bad view of the dance stage, and having to drink stale beer. The FSM gave us brains. I imagine he expects us to use them and deal with the assholes ourselves.
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OEJ
I have not read the Gospel. I have just enjoyed reading all of your posts on this particular page. This posting may be out of place here, but I wanted to add to the discussion.
I do not believe in God.
I am not an Atheist.
These two statements are not mutually exclusive.
IMO, there is a crucial misjudgement that atheists make on their personal religious path. That misjudgement is to assume that Church and God are irrevocably conjunct. This is not necessarily the fault of the athiest. The Church preaches that disbelief in even one aspect of its dogma is disbelief in the entire system. The Church also preaches that it is the only true conduit for communion with God. When a devoted acolyte learns of pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, or sloth perpetrated by Holy Men or their Holy Bureaucracy, it is natural to assume that God (the only god he/she knows) must not exist; This is a logical fallacy. Just because a lollipop must be held up by a stick doesn’t mean the stick is going to be sweet and tasty.
The thought that escapes most athiests is that they don’t have to believe in God in order to believe in god, or gods. Everett Fox - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everett_Fox - interprets YHWH as “I will be there howsoever I will be there.” Saying further (I’m paraphrasing here) that when God is asked His name, He responds that the name is not important. That if you need Him, He will already be at your side. I like to take that one step further, and say that He’s there when you need Him, and in the form in which you need him. God doesn’t need to be a ridiculous gray-haired man on a throne. And He can be an equally ridiculous Flying Spaghetti Monster. It’s up to each of us as individual human beings with functioning brains to deduce the true nature of the god we choose to worship.
In summation: Atheists who are utterly certain that there has never been any sort of supreme being frighten me as much as people who are utterly certain that the biblical flood was an historical event.
Sweet Jesus, someone save me from my horrid spelling and formatting. *stabs self with dagger*
In response to Roj
Excelent however,
God, if exsistant would have to be female. I know this for two reasons no man has that much to say and thousands of years after eating her apple we are still catching crap about it.
Well, it is often left up to the woman to go out and buy more apples!
Roj
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What you describe is really more along the lines of what a deist is. Atheists by definition do not believe in God, a god, or gods. What you argue may be a resonable way to look at the idea of ‘god’, but you’re talking about something other than atheism.
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You write, “Atheists who are utterly certain that there has never been any sort of supreme being frighten me as much as people who are utterly certain that the biblical flood was an historical event.”
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Why would this frighten you? Do you believe in Zeus, Wotan, Baal or Odin? Should it scare me if you don’t? Perhaps what you fear is not atheists, but the possibility that they could be right.
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OEJ, spreading the word with a shovel and pitchfork
nikkiee,
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That’s only true in the Bible. In real life it’s the woman’s job to go out and buy more beer!
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OEJ, running for my life.
Bah! You just havn’t been properly trained OEJ. Ever noticed how, after a few years (say 5), a man starts referring to his “til death do us part” as the boss!!!
These men have discovered the key to a happy marriage. (along with everything that implies)
nikkiee,
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Some might argue that the term “happy marriage” is an oxymoron.
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OEJ,
I concede!
I have felt the touch of His Noodly Appendage! All hail His Noodliness!
Wow, this religion hasn’t been around for that long, and there already appears to be religious debate. Dang . . .
RAmen
I’m glad the Australian (and UK) release is the hardcover version as depicted on the US cover (complete with ribbon). Much more “religious text”y.
I bought the book at Borders recently and I’m almost finished. This is the most hilarious and amazing book I have ever read.
RAmen.
I must say I am most appalled at the vast number of people intent on eating the precious Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is disgusting that it is legal for people to purchase, kill and eat this innocent creature…even if it does taste absolutely delicious. Even when it is smothered in a rich tomato and meatball sauce, the crime is still horrendous. I have many things to say on this atrocious topic, but I must go as the pasta is ready and the sauce done. I shall be back to publish my scrumptious recipie for homemade pasta and meatball sauce. Dig in.
I’ve finished the gospel,well, to be completely honest, I finished it yesterday afternoon. Does anyone have any idea where eye patches are available for purchase? I don’t want to offend His noodlyness when preaching the Word.
Marvelous info. I am working with this theme and the information has been most helpful.
http://www.frackers.com/eng/2006/
they actually have the gospel in the public library here in tampa. i wonder how long until its stolen.
I have yet to read this book of yours, but it seems like a worth-while read. Your Spaghetti God and his audacious followers have tickled me greatly. Keep pissing people off, please.
Seriously. Someone has to. =)
Dear Mr. Henderson,
I really have to thank for making everything clear, I feel like after eating icecream.
You made me realize where this world is about. It just makes total sense. Tell me, what else than a giant spaghetti ball could have created our beautyfull world? I got informed by some friends of mine, but even they couldn’t tell me if the gospel was also able to buy in Holland..
Hail The Noodly Master. Ramen
0nn3
P.S. You are so freaking poowning man, just one word: respect to you (I have the feeling I’m not counting very well).
Response to OEJ’s November 4th post:
The answer to your question is that I am scared by those who have blind faith in anything, whether it be religion, science, or themselves.
At the end of the day, when I am removing my eyepatch and tricorne, I utter a humble prayer unto the Flying Spaghetti Monster thusly:
Dear FSM, may your noodly appendage eternally keep my feet planted firmly to the ground, may you invisibly watch over me, my loved ones, and all pastafarians, and most of all, may you deliver me from those who have blind faith, for lo, they are douches to people who don’t believe in their God, and as you know, I already have too many douches in my life.
Your pal,
Roj
-You are so freaking poowning man-What does ‘poowning’ mean? Anyone?
I’m guessing it’s a synonym for omnipotent, as written by someone who believes that the words “beautyfull” and “icecream” are correctly spelled.
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Also, I have taken the sacred vow of Not Judging Twatspeakers For Their Grammar, But Instead For Their Spelling. Praise be to His Noodliness.
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Ramen
KILL THE PIRATES burn the holy book of the fsm burn the NOODLEY ONE BURN HIM.
â€
â€
Ill eat the damn ramen
You are welcome to eat all the pasta you can eat. May you be warmed to the soul by His Noodly Goodness. There’s plenty of Marinara sauce. Help yourself to some garlic bread as well.
RAmen
@Roj Villapardo
“someone who believes that the words “beautyfull†and “icecream†are correctly spelled.”
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@0nn3
“but even they couldn’t tell me if the gospel was also able to buy in Holland..
Hail The Noodly Master. Ramen”
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I suggest it’s simply a matter of english not being Onn3’s first language.
RAmen
If we translate the Gospel into different languages, it’ll sell better. When I get my hands on a copy, I’ll try yo translate into french, but my french isn’t too good.
@Penne:
“What does ‘poowning’ mean? Anyone?”
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Try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pwned
Our Pasta,
Who art in lagane,
Ravioli be thy name,
Thy cavatoli come,
Thy will be done,
With fiori as in heaven
Give us this day our daily Penne,
And lead us not into Rigatoni,
But deliver us from ziti,
For thine is the spaghetti,
The pesto and the tripoline,
Farfallini and filini,
Ramen.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_pasta
-’Give us this day our daily Penne’-Awwwwww :-} me likey
This Is Awsome! I Want A Copy Of The Gosple But My School Won’t Allow Me What Can I Do?
i would have to first congradulate you on creating such a religion, you have made yourselves just like elrond hubberd (the creator of scientology). It is in fact true that all religion is flawed, your religion is flawed because humans created spaghetti, scientology is plain stupid. Christianity (god made the universe in seven days, yet he wanted the humans to look after all life on one mezely little planet in one mezely little solar system. And the fact that he looks like a human, as well as his son.)
It is difficult for a human to worship something that is not human or not created by human (i am yet to see someone worship another form of animal or a plant.) I actually cannot believe that people do follow this, even so much as to ruin someone’s life which i saw a woman named rebecca write. It is not the purpose of religion to destroy lives of those who do not follow, religion is not worshipping a higher power, it is being guided by that ‘higher power’ to make your world and the world around you better and i must say that FSM is not at all making that connection.
Children need to learn about what they must do in life to make the world greater not learn about strippers and beer volcanoes. Strippers puts men or women into just objects i must admit i do like female strippers and would not mind watching them, however it is wrong. Beer is a creation of humans that damages your body, it is one of the leading causes of seperation between families and they believe it is some stupid sort of disease, people should be learning that they have the power, no that they have to believe in some higher power to make them change.
-Julian
Spaghetti wasn’t created by humans, per se, it was created by him working through humans. It is unfortunate that Pastafarianism has allegedly destroyed somebody’s life, but people have been killing and dying in the name of christianity for centuries.
“It is not the purpose of religion to destroy lives of those who do not follow, religion is not worshipping a higher power, it is being guided by that ‘higher power’ to make your world and the world around you better and i must say that FSM is not at all making that connection.”
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Did someone, maybe, miss the whole point of the FSM?
you folks need to get a life, and possibly some mental help, now if you ask nicely i can offer you the latter, to some extent, i mean come on, how could food create anything? besides full bellies, upset stomaches etc.
I am the most recent convert to the church of the Great Al Dente One.Long have I studied all religions and have laughed and cried as I saw what humans did with their teachings,but no religion has ever captured my heart until now.But in celebration of my new faith yeasterday I decorated the walls with marinara and laid down an offering of sacred parmesan.
All hail the Noodly Creator.
I am new to this site and I’m not sure where else I could post this so I’ll just do it here…. A shirt that says “My god has bigger balls than yours does” with a picture of FSM would make a good addition to the shirts currently out there to support this cause.
Back in the day, which is to say tomorrow at the earliest or maybe latest (depending on your perspective), but then perspective is what this is all about, isn’t it? Considering there is no time beyond the confines of this existance it is then reasonable to say that time serves us only to keep everything from happening all at once. The fatalism that is thrust upon this dream then is preordained as well. It then remains that the deity of many names and divisions will ultimately call us all back to the eternity from whence we came, on which ever path we can negotiate home. Equilibrium dictates the physics of the soul as well as that of the universe.
So which is it then? Are you coming or going?
RAmen
@Cell
‘I decorated the walls with marinara and laid down an offering of sacred parmesan.’
I had to read that twice. Was the marinara that did it. :)
RAmen
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@GueØ
‘Equilibrium dictates the physics of the soul as well as that of the universe.’
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OK……hmm? Is this a new research discipline? The Third Element? Last Thursday?
Hale Bopp?
I’m confused….again!
By the way…who is reponsible for dressing the timbers of this galleon? Cracks seem to be appearing and strange things are emanating from them.
@ GueØ, I was half asleep when I thought the same thing MJK thought?
Are you coming or going? Is this yesterday or today? I myself have problems in this area?
Also, how the hell do you make that way cool Ø thingie? ‘Cause I’d like to know? Ø
Ramen
@ Nikkiee
Maybe it’s that time of the month. I’ve been dealing with a barrage of bible thumps on another forum and they are getting as thick as thieves. What could it be…oh yes, they have that special holiday thing coming up. Makes them all indignant…I mean warm and fuzzy inside. So Xrist like.
@ Peter
Glad I’m not the only one who caught that. For awhile there I thought I was sailing aboard a ghost ship.
Ramen
How do you spell ‘que’ Mad John (pronounced ‘kay’… as in Manwel from Faulty Towers)
Que (kay) is Spanish for “that”. Is that what you mean? Or qué as in “what”. They’re both pronounced the same. Depends on how it is used in a sentence.
I think ‘what’ is the relevent one here. Wasn’t a bad guess on the spelling! Now if I could just do that with the english words…… ;)
RAmen
It’s about time we enter the educational system. Here’s a trail-blazing vita to consider:
Doctor of Flying Spaghetti Monster Missions And Evangelisms Degree
Course Syllabus
Each FSM rector must reckoned to have communicated with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He must be willing to pledge to his group of followers that he/she has been influenced by the voice and vision of the FSM. As a rector in The Church of FSM, you will allow the FSM to speak to your heart and counsel you about the stresses of life. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will replace all your negative emotions with HIS opposites.
You will learn to teach your flock how to experience the FSM living within and learn to abide in the FSM to the extent that HE abides in our gut knowledge of HIM… especially after a nice pasta meal.
Your message does overlap, somewhat, with existing neo-con religions by learning how to fulfill your financial destiny. You will immerse yourself in The Church Of Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Scripture and find support for the belief that the FSM delights in the prosperity of HIS children. You will learn amazing ways to teach your pastafarians that it is the FSM’s desire for them to lend and not borrow, to be the tail and not the head. Once they’re true believers that the FSM actually interfered with the Carbon-Dating process, you will be easily manage to teach them the nature and purpose of prophetic revelation and its proper function in the Body of FSM. You will soon become a questioning, visionary, psychic, and creative thinker who questions the status quo.
Lastly, the FSM belief surpasses creationism and all ID viewpoints simply because it offers a concrete and reasonable explanation of how everything was created in a nanosecond…and recently! With his slick tentacles and all-knowing nature, he obstructed the attempt, via dim-witted human Carbon-Dating, to place things and events in an orderly sequence throughout time. FSM explains how, better than any other organized religion, that the earth was created in 6 days roughly only 6,000 years ago. It explains why the FSM bible is scientifically accurate in explaining why the earth isn’t billions of years old. True FSM believers realize that dinosaurs did not exist millions of years before man, even though thousands of heretic college textbooks say otherwise. The SFM’s tentacles also makes it easy to see why the mountains, oceans, the true location of the Red Sea crossing, and many other events are no older than 6,000 years. Yes, I cannot fathom teaching ID and creationism in America’s science classes without also teaching the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory…it seems to hold up better. I’m awaiting the second coming of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
RAmen Robert
May His Noodles embrace you always.
The Science Creative Quarterly (Sept-Nov edition)
‘OF PENGUINS AND PASTA’
By Toby Leonard (Evidence for FSM)
http://www.scq.ubc.ca/?p=233
I was greatly offended when I found this book in the “Humor” section at Borders. After Holiday, I plan on going back and moving all copies of the book into “Religion” possibly while dressed in pirate gear.
RAmen
Good plan TiJim
hahaha
Ramen
people should read the sight before posting the noodly appendage is what makes people beleive if you are a pastafarian you hasve been touched by the appendage and if the thing about temp as you call it is against Him and global warming i`ll have you need he changes the results of global temp and more pirates coming from the site could lower the temp too!
smarter than you
Sep 20th, 2006 at 7:37 pm
so yeah someone told me about this book. needless to say shes atheist and was before she read this book. but anyways i want to read it. wth is up with the noodly appendage. please tell meh!
8 smarter than you
Sep 20th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
the temp did slightly fall on tuesday. yall musta done a good job cuz it dropped even more wednesday.
umm man was made in christain god image if what your saying is true so we might be made in the image of the FSM and the FSM made the world in one day.
SqrlWthANife
Oct 4th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Saint, it is good to see you have a sense of humor. But as gill said why can’t we laugh and believe? How do you know “GOD†of Christianity isn’t a damned Flying Spaghetti Monster? Maybe we’re the correct ones and your not. Ever think of it that way? (Yay I just ordered my gospel). RAmen.
I got a Barnes and Noble gift card for christmas.
I know what I’m buying.
This is the only book I will ever need.
Welcome aboard, matey! May you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendage!
RAmen
MJK
The Ninja In Us All(NIUA) would formerly like to admit that we are abandoning Bhuddism and joining hands with our Pastafarian brothers. Whoever said Ninja and Pirates cannot be friends? When touched by His Noddley Appendage, anything is possible. May His Noodley Appendage touch you all, and all of us as well.
RAmen.
And, we of course, regret that we misspelled Noodley*, and will so forth use one of His most gracious inventions, Spell-Check, from now on.
Welcome aboard matey!
I never knowed a real ninja before, are you guys really invisible?
Ramen
@TsukinoKage
Welcome to His Noodley embrace, TsukinoKage and the Ninja In Us All(NIUA).
RAmen
.
@Peter Popoff
“are you guys really invisible?”
.
If so Peter, invisibility come in very handy for a pirate.
Arrr, Jules, rest ya head my lad - the strippers (male and female) up in heaven are robots and therefore already objects. I love objects. I have a TV object and I watch it a lot. I really enjoy it and it doesn’t seem to mind at all. My computer object is my second favorite.
Mmmmm, objects. :)
As for beer: I would argue that beer is one of the myriad things in the world that can damage your body. Along with cars, cigarettes, oxygen, and the ubiquitous forward movement of time itself it seems that simply living is the most damaging thing for your body.
It sure seems to kills a lot of people.
And the reason families break up is that they get narky with each other after a while. Gee, I know heaps of divorcees who are not alcoholics. They’re just unlucky/adventurous/aware of the terrible waste of time getting increasingly bored with the one person is.
There are a lot of so-called diseases. People used to think homosexuality was one - many people still do. But a doctor didn’t tell them about it - a priest did. So much for sourcing your material, eh? Is it surprising that psychiatry decided that the set of awful life hassles and the almost inevitable mental disruption caused by excessive alcohol consumption could be something they could treat (read: drum up clients)? Maybe it’s better treated as a disease despite the fact it is more often a choice. What psychological pain that leads one to drink irresponsibly is a better focus. Get rid of the pain and the numbing behaviour begins to vanish? It’s a thought.
We could say something similar about the god neurosis - disease or choice. What underlies the choice? What are the conditions and perspectives of the “afflicted”?
On the other hand, meh! We have FSM and all his noodly goodnesses.
Let the heathen boil themselves dry and let their sauces become hard and kinda yukky and saltyish with half the meat forming a horrid solid mass at the bottom of the saucepan.
We watched the pot; we added the dessert spoon of brown sugar to counteract the acidity of the tomatoes; we went halfway across town to find prosciutto and we picked the fresh herbs…
One day, they will smell what we’re talking about. And then they shall come.
RAmen.
pigboy henderson ;) - get some pork on ya fork!
this is really boggus and attempting to place Christianity on the same level is extremely shameless as well as disrespectful(to Christianity not the fiction you just made up within the past few years). so far i have not seen any evidence for your proposition of a FSM. opinions do not equal evidence.
Our point exactly - well done - give yourself a gold star!
Now go and read what evidence there is for evolution versus what evidence there isn’t for intelligent design.
Enjoy!
Thanks for that, Militant Atheist.
Don’t worry, we won’t pray for you.
@monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm RE:
so far i have not seen any evidence
You obviously haven’t read the open letter.
We’ve got graphs and everything and Bobby has loads more evidence that he hasn’t released yet because the world isn’t ready to understand it all yet.
I haven’t read the bible, but I do know it hasn’t even got any pie charts in it!
I mean how are you going to covince people of things without some graphs and pie charts?
Loads of evidence (and common sense) contradicts the Bible.
Although some evidence contradicts our Gospel those sections were inserted to test us and when you find one you are being touched by his noodley appendage.
So if you find any mistakes that only goes to prove that he exists.
Go figure on that Man-Nailed-To-A-Cross-A-Bit-Harsh-But-He-Did-Go-On-A-Bit-I-This-Seriously-Holier-Than-Thou-Tone-That-Really-Got-On-Our-Nerves-If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-BOY.
RAmen
yarg, ye who hath called question to the most holy and noodly one’s devine existance are right to question and think with the mass of brain so kindly given to ye…but before so doing, be not so fool harty and self assumedly correct as ye may be much mistaken, and should the case be as such, thy sauces will be bitter, thy meatballs hard, beer flat, and your stripper bots malfunctioned. You might also be turned into a penguin and put on antartica.
You, most silly monkeywrenchof”evolution” seem to think just because christianity is old and pastafaranism is young that the prior is correct and the latter wrong. Well, old people are old but they are often wrong, and young people can be right, so your logic holds no sauce. May ye be touched by his noodly appendage, ramen!
@monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm The FSM has been around scince the dawn of time, it’s Christianity that’s the fiction just made up within the past few years
.
“o far i have not seen any evidence for your proposition of a FSM” So where is this evidence for christanity prey tell?
You don’t even have a graph!
No graph!
No graph!
You haven’t got a graph!
Oh, hang on whats this a graph showing that Mary was a virgin?
NO! I WAS WRONG! BECAUSE THERE’S NO SUCH THING.
You haven’t got a graph.
Bobby’s graph is really nice and you’ve not got one.
Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar!
And if you make one up now we’ll know you’ve faked it and that would just be copying.
So face it you haven’t got a graph and you’re not going to get one.
You’re rubbish!
Come over the the CoFSM before all your friends do and laugh at you for not having a graph.
RAmen.
monkeywrenchof”evolution” Jan 7th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
“attempting to place Christianity on the same level is extremely shameless as well as disrespectful”
I agree monkey. Placing a religion, which worships an imaginary being (1 or 3?), on the same level as the worship of Our Noodley Lord is indeed shameless and disrespectful.
The FSM has always been and as a religion is much, much older than xtianity.
We do thank the xtians for contributing to the paving of the way for tolerance of all religions. See you at school. :) :)
RAmen
ps I never understand why xtians assume they deserve more respect than others just because their beliefs/cults are more far fetched!
I’ve even had non-xtians criticise me for not showing the superstition respect (I can’t remember what I did, I was probably drunk)
.
I’ll show it respect once I deem it worthy.
Does anyone know if the FSM actually has exactly two meatballs or if thats just the classical depication?
“Does anyone know if the FSM actually has exactly two meatballs or if thats just the classical depication?”
.
Since He usaully shrouds himself from mankind, He may have more
Teh Pirate Fish,
It would be really embarassing if we were as daft as the Xians and took artistic representations as literally accurate.
He might have more of fewer noodles, sauce or meat-balls, perhaps we don’t know.
My highly articulate and well reasoned post:
http://www.venganza.org/worship/fsm-book/discussion/#comment-35645
appears to have dealt that Monkey Wrench a compelling argument.
There’s no come back from that and do you know why?
his meatballs may be everywhere, as he is omnipotent.
No Beastly, although that is true it is not the reason that they have haven’t come back.
Do you want to try again?
I was speaking about Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 8th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
.
I suspect they haven’t come back is because they’re still looking for the graph.
.
AND THEY WON’T COME BACK BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO GRAPH!!!!!!!
YEAH! Come back when you’ve found the graphs in the bible!
i.e. NEVER!
if any of you are honestly serious, may God help you.
He already has… in his noodely wisdom, he showed us the true faith.
.
RAmen and pass the parmesan!
C,
We are absolutely serious.
It is far more likely that the world was made by the flying spaghetti monster (long may his noodles extend) in around 2 seconds than by God in 7 days.
The world is far more consistent with the FSM model than Christian doctrine.
You only have to look around to see God can’t be as on the ball as most Christians would have us believe. Daniel (in these threads, not the Bible guy) chooses to ignore the manifest faults with the Christian story.
We might have flimsy moral standards but we’ve got too much intellectual integrity to hold such a flimsy position.
Oh I’m 100% totally and utterly serious and sincere in my beliefs and the flying spaghetti monster helps me all the time!
From a Pastafarian in Britain (that’s the little country thats government is stupid enough to support Bush over Iraq) where the FSM’s influence is badly needed.
“Come over to Macedonia and help us†Acts of the Apostles Chap 16, verse 9:
first recorded excuse for American Military Intervention (circa 60 Al Dente)
There are a large number of Pirates still living in Cornwall (which is the extreme South Western tip of Britain); however they are heretic Pirates because a) they are not really Pirates but the descendents of “wreckers†which is a land based form of Piracy involving luring ships on to rocks and plundering their cargoes which isn’t at all FSMist as people got killed and b) they can’t spell Pasta. The local dish is called a “Pastyâ€; this is clearly the result of someone who couldn’t read too well and anyway the local people had probably never heard of Pasta because most of the men were either away at sea fishing or working down the tin mines whilst their wives stayed at home making the Pasty (or committing adultery with the men who had the good sense not to go off to sea or down the mines).
Also the ones who call themselves Pirates these days are the supporters of the local Rugby team. (Rugby is like American football but played by people whose IQ is in three figures and who slap each other manfully on the back when they score a touchdown rather than jumping around dementedly in the end zone as if they’d got a scorpion down their pants and pointing at a non-existent being in the sky or kneeling down and touching their faces and shoulders just to see whether the players on defense have managed to pull any of their limbs off).
Incidentally these so-called Pirates aren’t even descended from the Wreckers on the whole but are rich city types who’ve downsized into the country where there’s less crime, noise, pollution etc, consequently driving up real estate prices so that the local people have had to move to the cities where there is more crime, noise, pollution etc. Ah, the joys of the free market economy!!
Anyway these heretics badly need to be touched by His Noodley Appendage and brought back to true understanding.
RAmen