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The Flying Spaghetti Monster Hat
The Pope has a special hat. Rabbis have special hats. Rastafarians have special hats. Why not Pastafarians?
This hat is crocheted (I assume you could knit something similar). Unfortunately, I don't how to write patterns -- my grandma taught me how to crochet in a rather freeform manner (she also made the best spaghetti and meatballs, EVER - coincidence?). So here's a very rough guide:
- Body of hat: 2 balls Lion Brand Wool-Ease in Fisherman 99
- Spaghetti tendrils & trim: 1 ball of fluffy Lion Brand Chenille in Antique White
- Eyeballs: a little bit of any old white yarn
- Meatballs: 1 ball Caron "Jewel Box" in Rubellite 0028. This is the most meatballistic yarn I could find.
- 2 small black buttons for pupils
- Polyfill or other stuffing material
Make any kind of base hat you want. I just went around in a big spiral until I had a hat (sorry, I just make this stuff up as I go). But here's a pattern for a beret that would make a nice base. The meatballs are just, well, balls, stuffed with polyfill and stitched onto the top of the hat. Here's a nice simple ball pattern. Eyestalks start out as white balls, but instead of closing the ball at the bottom, you tie on the base-hat-color yarn and gradually increase the stitches until you have a cone shape, leaving the bottom open. Stuff with polyfill and stitch on to the base hat. Sew buttons to center of eyeballs for pupils. I added earflaps and two small meatballs to the end of the earflap ties, because you can never have too many meatballs, but this is entirely optional. Spaghetti strands are just chains, using a big hook and a fluffy yarn. Leave a bit of unchained yarn at the very end to attach them to the hat (pull through and knot on inside). You could put a bit of wire up in the strand to make it poseable, but I prefer the more authentic, spineless noodle.
Now put on your hat and waggle your noodly appendages in His name -- you're warm, blessed, and look like a complete dork. AMEN.
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