The Missouri State University Pastafarians took some time out of their schedules to spread the Word of the FSM in Springfield, Missouri.
Thanks very much to JT, Trotsky, Brenda and all of the Pastafarians present for doing this. The following description is in JT’s words.
In Springfield, there is a group of zealous christians that bring an array of witty signs downtown every weekend and hold them up trying to save the sinful, wayward souls of all the partiers.
Some of their clever passages of moral goodness include:
“The Party Ends in Hell”
“To Marry a Divorced Woman is Adultery”
“Homosexuality is an Abomination”
etc. etc. etc.
So…my pirate crew and myself decided appraise them to the existence of the one TRUE god:
The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Here I go…gonna give them a pamplet and tell them about the FSM.
They told me they didn’t want it and they refused to take it. I offered to take one of theirs in exchange. Again, they said ‘no’.
I pointed out that it was kind of shitty of them to expect me to be receptive to their message while being unwilling to extend me the same courtesy.
They gave me the stone-walled silence.
Can’t say I was shocked.
I decided to join them…help save some souls, y’know?
Ah, thanks for joining me, Trotsky.
With eyes lit up like the fires of Allah…
Look what we found!
Here’s a close-up.
saucy, saucy wenches. Pun intended.
We handed out 135 pamplets in under 30 minutes. Overall, the night was a HUGE success. People were very receptive to what we were doing. I hope some of them will start becoming more involved in many of the issues dominated by the religous right. The lady above felt compelled to take one of our pamplets over to the christians and explain that we make just as much sense…and she’s hot.
It’s important to have females. It attracts the attention of passers-by and pisses off the uptight people holding the signs across the street.
Another convert. Well-done Trotsky!
Kickin’ ass and takin’ names.
People continually told us that our corner of the intersection felt a great dealer cooler than the others…coincidence? Or prophesy?”
Contact the MSU Pastafarians here: MSUPastafarians@gmail.com
check out JT’s xanga here
P34ch3z Sep 20th, 2007 at 2:11 am
“dose any one know if there r any pastfarians in New Zealand or am i the only one?”
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Lotsa sheep? Conversion excursion time? :P
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“if heaven had a volcano of tiquela and a giant lime tree and all the spagetty i could eat we could come to a arangement.”
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See ya there P34ch3z (:))
RAmen
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@wilbur Sep 3rd, 2007 at 8:27 pm
“vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power”
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Yeah? A power tripping control freak then? Nice! :p
May you feel the touch of His Noodly Appendage wilbur
RAmen
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sorry changed my name p34ch3z was getting to much stik from my brothers and its only the south island thats got all the sheep and the best spagetty is made by Watties. im not thick but wat dose conversion excersion time meen? wench nikkiee are u in the usa cauz its 1:48 pm hear and your reading a realy wird time??? Ramen Im a convert
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http://www.flyingpirate.com the last of the pirates RIP ginger gibbs
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Wilbur Wilbur Sep 3rd o7. I really need to share this gospel with you as commanded by FSM.I had a revelation of the second coming( or serving) of FSM, I was told to eat as much spagetti as I can so than he( or she or it, or whatever) is in me forever. Then I can ascend to heaven and enjoy the everlasting volcano of beer. FSM loves you so much and wants you to join me in heaven for the beer. Don’t forget to bring the peanuts
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@wilbur
“In flaming fire Jesus will take “vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;
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This is why we preach Jesus’ teachings.”
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Ah, so it is just bare naked mental terror that drives you and your fellow believers. I had thought so for a good while now.
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You guys are dumb and I really feel sorry for you that you have put all your faith into a bunch of noodles.
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And Alex, we really feel sorry for you, because you just don’t get it….
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rAmen
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i hate the stupid, “jesus died for your sins”remark, i mean, if you get reserructed anyway, there’s not much guts needed to die
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Ahhhh, this is the first time in my entire life I’ve felt almost sad that I live in an empty part of England where there are no evangelists (except the ones who come around to my fricking school and invade assemblies, RE lessons and Citezenship…GRRRR…maybe next time they come I can dress up as a pirate and explain Pastafarianism…but I’d probably get given detention for breaking the uniform rules, despite it being religious clothing…would they deny a Christian their crucifix? I think NOT!)
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Off topic again…FSM, I’m bad at sticking to my point.
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My point is…AWESOME! I wish I had an oppurtunity to do that!
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That’s all I wanted to say.
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Facebook Pastafarian group now open
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God who created man and gave us His Word (the Bible) will send His son Jesus with His mighty angels. In flaming fire Jesus will take “vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power; when he shall come to be glorified in his saints, and to be admired in all them that believe(because our testimony among you was believed) in that day.” 2 Thessalonians 1:7
This is why we preach Jesus’ teachings.
HEY WILBUR! In the immortal words of Mr. Universe…”bring in on, bring it on…”
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I ate you’re flying God for suppper lastnight. Delish
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Indeed there seems to be no fear of God here. Repent and obey the Gospel of Christ. It is your only hope. Jesus said that his word will judge us on the last day. John12:48
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Is eating spa-geddy and meatballs like communion?
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You can slap around our ears with bible citates all you want, but you forget that anyone who’s not a christian sees that book for what it really is: just another book. Why so many people believe it contains only devine truth is one of those mysteries of the last 2000 years. To non-christians, a bible citate means nothing, or a morality lesson (completely loose from any religion) at best, and thus bible citates are completely worthless when trying to convince us.
A book is no proof as you can write whatever you want in it. And claiming it is only truth, even for thousands of years, doesn’t make it truth.
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Mark 16:16 says he that believeth not shall be damned. You unbelievers must realize that someday “every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord” but for many it will be forever too late. For the glory of God, please repent and “save yourselves from this untoward generation.”
Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Contrary to popular opinion, the way to eternal life is through dying to yourself and in love to Christ obeying His teachings in the new testament.
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RAmen to that. may you be touched by his noodly appendage.
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omg, u guys are an insperation
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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“I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Mean To Opress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.” (The Gospel of FSM, The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts,” Verse 2)
This is One of My Golden Rules! Isn’t He he greatest God of all gods?
RAmen!!!
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“He who unbelieve’th and goes by the sheep’s turn, shell yonder a sea of hopelessness across a meadowe sky. No cross for an un-foreseeing yonder that will plucke’th essence of nutmeg from thayn chest. And so shall He lead a virtue greater than lords of yore, believe and shall you be believed in.” ElDante 13:42
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It seems the christians here completely missed my point. That’s only fair, because I’m quite confident I don’t get their’s either. I will make a last attempt to clearly state what I mean.
Devotees of any religion tend to take Their holy scriptures literally word for word. In my opinion that’s sometimes even dangerous, but in any case I would consider it unwise, because what is written simply can’t be an accurate tale of what really happened (for instance) 2000 years ago.
I will illustrate my point with some bible history, as I know a fair bit about it. I once was a catholic, until I grew old enough to ask myself the question why I should believe the stories my parents and teachers were telling me.
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First off, the bible as we read it today is a translation. The bible has been translated plenty of times throughout history, going from one language to another or changed to more modern wordings. And inevitably, plenty of it’s original content has been lost in translation. This already is a reason taking the text of the bible literally is rather pointless, as it’s original text is probably quite different.
For instance, using the bible, a French monk once tried to calculate Jesus’ exact birth date. Eventually, he concluded Jesus had to be born somewhere between 4 and 6 before Christ…
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The old testament is a part of the Tanakh (The jewish ‘bible’, to clear that up). It is, in short, the part that tells about the beginning of the world, the greatness of God, loyal worshippers of God, the risks of denying God and the promise of a saviour. The old testament as we read it today differs incredibly from how it was written originally. This is because it was rewritten by the jews during the Babylonian exile (a true and historically proven event). During this exile, while the jews were kept (mostly) as slaves by the Babylonians, the Jewish faith began to fade. Some reasoned the Babylonian gods had to be more powerful, as they had defeated “God’s chosen people”. Most of them took over Babylonian faith beacause the Babylonians encouraged this with rewards and easier lives. To counter this, the faithful jews rewrote the Tanakh, making it more spectaculair by adding a great deal of miracles. In the original scripture for instance, the red sea never split on Mozes’ command. Instead God made the east wind blow all night to make the sea slightly retreat. In the original story God was simply with his people, not present as a column of fire and smoke. It is also no coincidence that the name of the most important Babylonian god, Baal, became one of the names of the devil.
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The new testament was actually written about 300 years after Jesus’ death. I’m not sure what the sources of Matteüs, Marcus, Lucas and Johannes (these are the actual names of Matthew, Mark, Lucas and John. they were ‘englishized’ because they were too hard to pronounce in the English language) were, but I doubt they had some accurate video footage about Jesus’ life. In other words, they were writing down a story about events that had been passed on mostly from mouth to mouth over 300 years. Sories going from mouth to mouth tend to get more spectaculair every time they’re told, and this would explain most of the miracles taking place in the bible. In addition to the sheer impossibility of that story going on for 300 years unchanged, they most likely didn’t write down everything, only the things they believed should be in the book. Lastly it is aknown fact they had no information wathsoever about Jesus’ birth and young years. The writers made up the whole ‘Christmas story’ (born in a manger and stuff).
In the middle ages, the bible was given it’s final form (excluding later translations and edits for more modern language) by the Vatican. There were plenty of gospels, over 30, yet the Vatican chose to only include the 4 that are known today. Crudely stated, they only included those that fitted them best. Or reflected the Christian faith best IN THEIR OPINION.
This is the stuff they didn’t teach me in sunday school, this IS the stuff that seems far more plausible and is backed up by more than one thick book.
I’m not saying here the bible is a piece of trash. Eventually, it preaches some noble values like ‘love thy neighbour’ and that’s a good thing. I AM saying here it is rather pointless to take the bible or any other holy book from any other religion literally. (The sceintology holy book was actually a science fiction novel for crying out loud…) These books are meant to pass on a faith and it’s ideas, not simply words.
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haha, great stuff! let me know if your followers do something in sweden!
Ramen
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I agree with Thomas, the major problem with organized religion, especially with fundamentalism, is that it gets too engorged with dogma, and it begins to loathe and lash out against anything that presents a different idea. No reasonable, intelligent Pastafarian will dispute or cast down the things that Jesus taught about loving other people, about not using the name of God to abuse and rob the less fortunate(wow, that sounds familiar), and about a God that forgives his creations if they wish to be forgiven and will let love in their heart. The quote from Mohandas Gandhi on page 91 of the Gospel says it best. “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
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Hey Wilbur,
Wassa, good message, everyone will all go on their knees and worship the true savior, I didn’t really get the Jesus bit, but we pastafarians know were right. And Wilbur, what do you mean it will be too late? Because your god, FSM is kind to all, non-believers or otherwise. Glad to see other people following the world of FSM and thier able to justify their beliefs with other people’s religious texts! Pastafarians kick ass.
-J.T.S.
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I’m so going to try and get together with some friends to do this. Great work to all here who are sticking up for the FSM. And anyone else notice the others here don’t actually make an argument, just spew quotes from a book…? xD
RAmen to all of ya.
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what kind of foolishness is this!? have you gone mad you freaks!?
i would say that this is the stupidest and dumbest cult ever! hahaha….
you bunch of idiots, look at yourselves your hilarious!
try to recruit Richard Famador, will ya?
he might as well join your ignorance and stupidity….
hahaha….
you freaks are jokes!
go home to your grandmamas and suck your milk bottles!
you might have your minds fixed again….
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bunch of homos and retards! that’s for sure!
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the translation of the bible took serval years to do and it was done by those that belived in the Lord Jesus Christ . for the bible say dont tamper with God’s Word. “For i testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. He which testifieth these things saith, “Surely I come quickly.” Amen. Even so, come Lord Jesus. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.” Revelation 22:18-21 and you guys say “RAmen you know you just taking that from the bible you just added the letter R in front of Amen, your guys theory on how this world got here and how we got here doesnt make any sence either. How does making a mountain and trees and a midgit start a whole world popualtion?PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT I would really like to know. You can even e-mail me at jesusdied4all316@yahoo.com. And I just wanna Say GOD BLESS you fellow Christians on here tring to tell these people bout Jesus and my God Bless your guys heart and help the rest of you see the light of our Lord Jesus Christ.
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RAmen to the cheesemakers and Rallelujah for seeing the light using my powerswitch. Bless all gods men created the past 5000 years or so. And goodnight from Holland as well.
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Aren’t Christians agressive little people. They also seem to use expletives quite easily – almost as if they are not very eloquent. I would have more respect for them if they would come out with a couple of hearty sea-oaths and curses occasionally.
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I live here and I don’t get offended. I think that people get offended because they feel convicted and freak out
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Way to go outstanding job. Thinking back to my mizzou days I wish I would have been a member of the noodly flock with “justiceforall.org” came to campus so we could have shown them the light.
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Awesome job fellow Pastafarians.
PRAISE THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!
I HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
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I see that many of you are not impressed with what passes for religion and for Christianity now-a-days. For that much you could be commended, as you have noticed, many who wear the name of Christ have added to, modified, taken from, and in some cases completely perverted what Jesus and his apostles taught about God and about true religion.
James, the brother of Jesus, wrote in the Bible book named after him “JAMES” chapter 1:verses 26 & 27 (it can be found immediately following the book of “Hebrews” in the New Testament) I would very much like to consider your comments regarding what James had to say about religion. gf
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Wow. That. Is. Awesome.
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@ gfodyby,
Not really too different from our scripture. I refer to “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:”
“1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing my Noodly Goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”
What do you think of that?
RAmen
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gfodyby: What do you mean by “true” religion? Are you a member of the Jewish Zombie with special powers cult? I think the Jewish story of the fatherless man born of a virgin is a bit silly really. For a start I’m not Jewish, and I don’t believe tribal lore from thousands of years ago, the people were so incredibly ignorant. If you really want to follow a “true” religion choose one with spaghetti!
RAMEN
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Mark Ellison (#88): The story of the fatherless man born of a virgin is not a Jewish story. It was created long before – it’s just that other cultures figured they couldn’t top it, so they appropriated it into their culture.
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Outstanding job, Mateys! For this, you should get first pick from the stipper factory.
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Volcanos! Beer! Arrrgghh!
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ah nice! i live in springfield. wish i would have seen this. good job, guys!
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I have long ago decided to become a Pastafarian and followed the doctrine as my father has before me. But there are one or more parts of the doctrination that I do not abide. For one I know there is no Beer Volcanoe in heaven. The Volcano is actually Jack and Coke. And I take great offense at the premise that the great FSMs name should be such pantomerised (our word for blasphemy) as to be associated with Beer. For it is us and our underling Raviolli and Gnocchi of the second aldente that we can not righteuously any longer belong to the Pastafarian religion in the sense it is now. And so I hereby declare the Triangular Pastacolonists as those who do now believe that our one goal is to be saved and bathed in the Volcano of Jack and Coke.
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