“My girlfriend and I are working on a short documentary about the FSM so we decided to take the good word of his noodly appendage to the streets of downtown Portland. We discovered an interesting dichotomy in the people that would stop at our table. Those who simply seemed interested in learning about just what the Flying Spaghetti Monster was would stop, look at the portrait, and listen to my brief speech on the FSM history and then take off with a nod or polite thank you. However, those who stopped and would really want to shoot the old bull with us would focus in on topics pretty tangential and unrelated to FSM (such as how the Illuminati does not wanting us to be out here preaching) and continue to talk to us about them for great lengths. It makes me have my doubts that the first Pentecost went as seamlessly as I’ve always been taught.”
I would like to host a FSM event for Meet in Portland. If anyone is interested, please contact me!
May the sauce be with you.
RAmen
Brother Louis
i pray for all of u that u find the right way to heaven..not by the spaghetting monster but by Jesus he who died for ur sins..
Well scrwe u luis the FMS is our way of life and if u dont like it i will have to get the FSM to come over 2 ur house and touch u with his noodly appendage!!!
Now now Dee Dee Dee… Let us not forsake Luis, and further, let us not anger His Noodlyness with threats of thrashing of other with His Noodly Appendage. Instead, let us offer each other a pint of grog, throw our arms around each other, and sing sea-shantys till the wee hours of morn…
And may the Sauce be with you!
well hey dee dee dee its FSM i guess you worship a Flying Monster Spaghetti…..
It’s about time we enter the educational system. Here’s a trail-blazing vita to consider:
Doctor of Flying Spaghetti Monster Missions And Evangelisms Degree
Course Syllabus
Each FSM rector must reckoned to have communicated with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He must be willing to pledge to his group of followers that he/she has been influenced by the voice and vision of the FSM. As a rector in The Church of FSM, you will allow the FSM to speak to your heart and counsel you about the stresses of life. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will replace all your negative emotions with HIS opposites.
You will learn to teach your flock how to experience the FSM living within and learn to abide in the FSM to the extent that HE abides in our gut knowledge of HIM… especially after a nice pasta meal.
Your message does overlap, somewhat, with existing neo-con religions by learning how to fulfill your financial destiny. You will immerse yourself in The Church Of Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Scripture and find support for the belief that the FSM delights in the prosperity of HIS children. You will learn amazing ways to teach your pastafarians that it is the FSM’s desire for them to lend and not borrow, to be the tail and not the head. Once they’re true believers that the FSM actually interfered with the Carbon-Dating process, you will be easily manage to teach them the nature and purpose of prophetic revelation and its proper function in the Body of FSM. You will soon become a questioning, visionary, psychic, and creative thinker who questions the status quo.
Lastly, the FSM belief surpasses creationism and all ID viewpoints simply because it offers a concrete and reasonable explanation of how everything was created in a nanosecond…and recently! With his slick tentacles and all-knowing nature, he obstructed the attempt, via dim-witted human Carbon-Dating, to place things and events in an orderly sequence throughout time. FSM explains how, better than any other organized religion, that the earth was created in 6 days roughly only 6,000 years ago. It explains why the FSM bible is scientifically accurate in explaining why the earth isn’t billions of years old. True FSM believers realize that dinosaurs did not exist millions of years before man, even though thousands of heretic college textbooks say otherwise. The SFM’s tentacles also makes it easy to see why the mountains, oceans, the true location of the Red Sea crossing, and many other events are no older than 6,000 years. Yes, I cannot fathom teaching ID and creationism in America’s science classes without also teaching the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory…it seems to hold up better. I’m awaiting the second coming of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!
Brother Luis,
It is so cool that you have turned “spaghetti” into a verb. I love it!
Yay!
I see there are other Portland Pastafarians.
Fantastic.
I salute your work sir.
We FSM converts need to have a day of evangelizing set up at PSU. Our campus has been plagued by the Youth Ministeries Organization (I think that’s their un-noodly name). Other students deserve to see the sauce and be saved!
Are there many Canadian Pastafarians? All of the locations I have heard of people posting here I haven’t really heard of/seen before, I’m just wondering if there are any Pastafarians/Pastafarian events in my region/Canada.
Well, when’s the next big Pastafarian event here in Portland? I recently introduced this concept to a few friends and teachers and even got it a spot in the upcoming religion course at my school.
Ramen,
-Kai
i love portland i live here boo yeah ka shaa
I will be moving to Portland soon and have recently become familiar with pastafarians and their beliefs (although I have loved spaghetti for some time). For years, I had questions about the creation of the universe and the seeming conflict between science and my Christianity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster explains so much. I now accept the truth and understand our world’s beginnings with much more clarity. One problem, however… I’m still not sure I get the pirate thing. Aren’t pirates bad? If I become a Pastafarian, do I have to become a pirate too? I don’t like patches. And parrots? They’re just annoying. Oh, and one more thing… in the FSM church, is it okay to smoke pot? That will really make a difference as to whether I join or not.
do not make the FSM mad. heed my warning. you will be slathered.
jesusisnowhere.com
I would love a FSM event in Portland, especially since I live there (or at least close enough as to not make any difference). I hope it gets organized soon, and in the meantime I think I’ll set up a FSM after-school club at my high-school. May you be titillated by his tasty tentacles! RAmen!
I would love to discuss spaghetti with other like minded Portlanders. Let me know at joshfryguy@gmail.com please.
I am a canadian Pastafarian! So is my brother and a handful of our friends! My boyfriend sadly thinks it is silly.. but he was raised in Texas.. lol (No offence meant for any Texans)
We need to increase the British awareness of the FSM!
@Simon
More is always better, but the UK definately has a strong, active Pastafarian congegation already.